The Academy
by hisuiryuu
Summary: AU: Lavi, Lenalee, and Kanda are childhood friends who attend Black Order Academy. A teenage Allen is named the new president of the academy. Kanda and Allen are drawn to each other. Can they form a relationship strong enough to survive the struggles of attending and running BOA?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

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The Walker family was well-known throughout the world. They were British, with a noble lineage established centuries in the past. The family was very wealthy, but that was not the primary reason for their fame. It was their charitable organization, The Arc, that brought them into the world's eyes and its deeds that kept them in the world's hearts. Noah Walker founded The Arc in 1614. He wanted to provide opportunities and medical care for people regardless of their social standing.

Over time, The Arc built and maintained an orphanage, hospitals, and schools. They began with an orphanage in London and soon spread throughout the British Isles. They built a school in Bathgate, Scotland and a hospital in Clonmel, Ireland. They crossed the Atlantic Ocean in the 19th century. Once in the US, the Arc built a school in Maine. The following century, they built a hospital in Massachusetts. Each location, be it orphanage, hospital, or school, had a president. The president was always a male member of the Walker family. His responsibilities included serving as the establishment's public face, overseeing the charity events, finalizing all hiring and firing of employees, and proceeding over any hearings regarding violence, theft, or property damage.

The Arc broke ground for their US school, Black Order Academy, in 1855. Construction ended in 1870, and the Walkers searched diligently in order to have the best possible faculty and staff. The school opened its doors to students in the autumn of 1871. Many parents wanted to enroll their children in BOA, but admission was through invitation only. The President of BOA, the deans, and staff members known as Finders scouted for students and invited a select few. Nobody saw a specific pattern in their choices, but all who went there flourished.

Located in Eastpoint, Maine, BOA consisted of four schools: preschool, primary school (years 1-7), secondary school (years 8-12), and university. Black Order University contained three different colleges: science, the arts, and business. As time passed, the colleges added various degree programs. The College of Science offered degrees in biochemistry, marine science, mathematics, forensic biology, and environmental biology. The College of the Arts offered degrees in art mediums, theatre, music, design, and creative writing. The College of Business offered degrees in accounting, business management, human resource management, sales management, and marketing. Charity proceeds covered all of BOA's expenses. Students had no tuition or boarding fees.


	2. Chapter 1 Lavi's Story

AN: Takes place in 1998-1999 and explains Lavi's past.

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**Chapter 1 ~ Lavi's Story**

Lavi Bookman was orphaned the day he graduated preschool. After the ceremony, his parents took him out for ice cream. Everyone was in high spirits as his dad drove them back to their house. Just as he began turning left onto their street, a large freightliner came flying through the red light at the nearby intersection. The truck smashed into the front end of the car, the impact causing the truck to jack-knife and sling the car into a lamp-post. To the witnesses, the horrific scene played out rapidly, but the family experienced everything as if time ran in slow motion. As it happened, Lavi could only stare in terror. The terror turned into an intense pain, rapidly followed by darkness.

Emergency responders arrived within minutes. Lavi's parents were pronounced dead at the scene, and the right side of his body had taken severe damage. He was in critical condition: bleeding, unconscious, and struggling to breathe. One of the paramedics phoned ahead to the closest emergency room, reporting all details of the incoming patient's condition. A helicopter flew Lavi to the hospital, and the flight crew rushed him to the ER. A team of doctors, nurses, and technicians met them as they entered the room and immediately went to work. After a couple of hours and several close calls, they managed to stabilize Lavi and started the process of transferring him to the ICU.

Bookman was at work when he received the call. There had been an accident that left his daughter and son-in-law dead and his grandson in critical condition. The boy had been flown to Noah Memorial, where the ER team was attempting to stabilize him. After the call, Bookman, who was Dean of Libraries at BOA, went straight to President Neah Walker and explained the situation. Neah immediately granted him a leave of absence, insisting that the man use his personal helicopter in order to get there quickly. He told the dean to call him if he needed any assistance and to keep him updated about Lavi's condition. Thanking the president, Bookman gathered a few personal belongings from home and went to the helipad, praying his grandson would still be alive when he reached him.

Bookman soon arrived at Noah Memorial. At the front desk, the receptionist informed him that Lavi had been stabilized and was being transferred to the ICU. Unbeknownst to the dean, Neah had called the Arc-owned hospital and arranged for Lavi to be issued one of the private suites. Once the boy was moved and all necessary equipment was properly placed, Bookman was allowed to enter. He wept at the sight of the small, unconscious form on the bed. The child was on a ventilator, covered in bandages, and tubes and lines ran in and out of him. As Bookman sat down near Lavi's bed, he glanced around the room and realized it was one of the suites reserved for the Walkers or other high-level employees of The Arc. He made a mental note to thank Neah when he called to give him an update on Lavi.

Shortly after Bookman sat down near Lavi, the doctor came in and told him about the injuries. A piece of glass penetrated Lavi's right eye, rendering it useless. He had several broken ribs and his right lung collapsed. They had to place a chest tube and planned to start weaning him off of the ventilator after 24-48 hours of maintained stability. His Humerus was broken but only needed immobilization, not surgery. Lavi also had numerous cuts that required stitches and had bruises all over his body. The doctor concluded by asking Bookman if he had any questions he would like to ask. He immediately asked two questions.

"When should he wake up? Is it likely that he has brain damage?"

"I'm sorry to say we cannot predict when he'll regain consciousness. We did not see any swelling of the brain or skull fractures during x-rays and the CT results were clear, so brain damage doesn't appear likely at this time. However, it can take days for brain injuries to become visible through such testing. We will, of course, order new x-rays in a few days and other tests if necessary. Any other questions at this time, sir?"

"Nothing comes to mind. Thank you for speaking with me so quickly."

"Certainly, sir. We strive to maintain excellent relationships between caregivers, patients, and their family members. If you have any other questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to ask. Also, I ask that you please alert the nurse if you notice any changes in Lavi: movement in fingers, head movement, opening his eye, trying to speak, or anything else you see."

"I will."

"It's nice to see Lavi has remaining family that cares about him this much. Good evening, sir. Unless you need me beforehand, I'll see you tomorrow."

With that, the doctor stepped out of the room. Bookman got up and retrieved his phone from his coat pocket. He called Neah first, updating him on Lavi's condition and thanking him for the suite. Neah said he felt it was the least he could do and again told Bookman to let him know if anything was needed. After chatting a few minutes, he ended the call to Neah. He then made calls to Dean Tiedoll and Dean Lee, his close friends and co-workers, and explained what had happened to his family. Each man offered his condolences and said he would be praying for Lavi's healing. Once off the phone, Bookman grabbed a novel from his luggage and settled back into the armchair near his grandson's bed. He kept a watchful eye on Lavi, hoping he would wake up soon.

Lavi remained stable after he was brought to the private suite. His second morning in there, the Respiratory Therapist lowered the settings on the ventilator. The following day, the settings were lowered again and the doctor ordered new x-rays of Lavi's skull. There were still no signs of brain damage. On the fourth day, Lavi was weaned off the ventilator. An oxygen mask covered his nose and mouth but he was now breathing completely on his own. The next day, the doctor mentioned the possibility that Lavi could wake up soon.

When told that Lavi could wake up any time now, Bookman was greatly relieved. Then he remembered that Lavi did not know his parents were dead. The doctor and nurses all volunteered to break the news to the child, but the dean asked them not to do it. He said it was his responsibility to tell the boy and to console him. They agreed with him, knowing it would probably be the best way to tell Lavi. Bookman walked to the windows and gazed out into the evening sky. Though he was deeply saddened by his daughter's death, he knew he had to remain strong for Lavi's sake. He promised his girl when she gave birth to the boy that he would be there for him whenever he needed anything, and Bookman was well-known as a man of his word.

Lavi awoke the following afternoon. He was very confused. Where was he? How did he get here? Why was he bandaged up and hurting all over? Why was his right eye not working? Where were his parents? The questions flashed rapidly through his mind. Then he noticed Bookman was there and knew that if anyone could answer his questions, it would be his grandpa. Lavi looked the dean in the eye and spoke for the first time in a week, his voice quiet and scratchy-sounding after seven days of going unused.

"What's going on, Grandpa?"

Bookman was thrilled to see Lavi awake and to hear his voice, but he dreaded what he needed to tell him. He started explaining everything to his young grandson, somehow answering all the unspoken questions in the same order they had flashed through Lavi's mind. Bookman emphasized that his parents felt no pain when they passed away. Lavi burst into tears and said it was all because of him and his stupid graduation. He was angry with himself for surviving the wreck that killed them. The knowledge of his own injuries was nothing compared to his guilt, anger, and self-loathing. While his physical health slowly improved, his mental state deteriorated. Lavi began to fight with everybody. The adults were met with his screams of rage and he beat up other kids he saw while out of his room. The doctor ordered daily sessions with a psychiatrist, hoping it would help calm the boy.

Lavi's time in the hospital lasted from preschool graduation to mid-October. His sixth birthday was spent undergoing physical therapy and a psychiatry session. Every person he saw that day wished him a happy birthday, but he always ignored them because the alternative would be to attack them. He had decided his birthday was nothing worth celebrating. Why should people want him to have a good day ever again? He practically murdered his mom and dad. Yes, he had his grandpa who loved him but he felt like he did not deserve his grandpa anymore either.

In the end, it was Lavi's emotional state that kept him from being released earlier. The last few weeks as an inpatient were almost exclusively spent in therapy sessions. He slowly began to accept that it was not his fault his parents died. Lavi was still sad, but a lot of his anger had dissipated. He had been really violent for a couple of months after he woke up and learned what happened, but now he was more depressed than anything else. Though the loss of his parents caused most of his depression, some of it was definitely brought on by his blind right eye. Though physical therapy went well, he still misjudged distances and fell or walked into things frequently. Bookman was still by his side, offering plenty of support and encouragement. His grandpa's commitment to caring for him helped Lavi keep trying.

Bookman legally adopted Lavi during his time in the hospital. Lavi was finally discharged after psychiatry approved his release. He went home on a low dose of an antidepressant and had to attend weekly therapy sessions. Lavi was now living in Eastpoint with Bookman, in a house located just off of the BOA campus. Lavi felt out-of-place because he did not know anyone and was afraid new people would tease him about the eye patch he wore. Once he settled in at his new home and therapy was going well, Bookman decided to introduce him to a couple of kids who lived in their neighborhood. There was a boy just a couple of months older than Lavi and a girl who was close to two years younger than him. All three of the children had lost their parents and a bond quickly developed between them.

The trio soon became best friends, helping each other prepare to face first grade at BOA. Lavi and the other boy were beginning primary school at age seven. Despite the age gap, the five-year-old girl would also be in first grade. The boys were starting school a year late, and the girl had been skipped up a year. The two boys were both adopted by deans, and the girl's older brother, a junior at Black Order University, adopted her. As school time neared, the kids talked about what calmed them down when they got upset. Lavi loved reading and really loved writing, and it soon became his new way of expressing his feelings. Not long after school began, he started his constant search for new information about most everything. He was very energetic and curious, and he was nosey enough to earn him the nickname Usagi.


	3. Chapter 2 Kanda's Story

AN: Thanks for the reviews. They were very nice. This chapter also takes place in 1998-1999.

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**Chapter 2 ~ Kanda's Story **

Kanda Yuu was orphaned his first day of primary school. After class ended, he quickly left the small schoolhouse, hurrying home because he wanted to tell his mother and grandfather all about his first day. As the excited boy walked home, he saw smoke in the distance. Flames soon became visible, rapidly growing larger and brighter. As his house came into view, Yuu abruptly stopped walking. His home, the only one he had ever known, lit up the afternoon sky as it burned.

Yuu saw rescue vehicles of all types parked haphazardly around his house. He slowly drew closer to the scene, watching the firemen as they filed out of the dwelling. He heard them tell the paramedics there were no survivors. The firemen began extinguishing the massive pyre and a police officer called for the coroner. Yuu refused to believe it; his mother and grandfather had to be alive! Unnoticed amidst the chaos, the small boy silently crept to the back of the house.

Flames surrounded him and smoke hung thickly in the air. Yuu tried his best to rescue his family but the inferno was too much for him. The paramedics were still there, remaining on standby in case anyone was injured while dousing the blaze. One of them thought he heard screaming so he went through the back door to look for the source of the noise. He found a boy passed out on the floor, one arm outstretched and reaching for the woman's body. The child's breaths came in shallow gasps and he coughed harshly. Nobody knew who he was or how he entered the house without being noticed. An ambulance rushed him to the hospital.

Yuu regained consciousness while still en route to the hospital. The paramedics tried to question him but he never answered them nor even acknowledged their presence. He looked like he was screaming, but the sounds came out as scratchy cries and broken whimpers. Yuu's eyes were open, but his gaze remained on something the medics could not see. Though he never spoke, they knew he was staring at the hellish scene he experienced right before fainting.

Once at the hospital, Yuu was diagnosed with smoke inhalation, second degree burns on both hands, and a third degree burn on the left side of his chest. The smoke inhalation required supplementary oxygen. His hands would heal fairly quickly but his chest was another story. The doctor hated to send the pitiful child straight to surgery but the burn wound needed a skin graft. Several surgeons worked together, carefully removing pieces of skin from Yuu's right thigh and grafting them to his chest. The surgery went well and once the anesthesia wore off they transferred him to a hospital room.

As soon as Yuu woke up he continued his hoarse, heartbreaking pleas. His eyes resumed their fixed gaze, staring at something only he could see. He ignored all questions directed at him. Three days after surgery, he finally reacted to an outside stimulus when a nurse changed the dressing on his chest. Unfortunately, his response consisted of ripping off his oxygen mask and attacking the nurse. Orderlies rushed into the room and restrained him so the nurse could rebandage his other burns and his thigh. The doctor prescribed a sedative and it made the boy drift into a light, restless sleep.

Meanwhile, the authorities identified the mystery boy as Kanda Yuu, age six. His only known family members perished in the fire. His mother had not named a father in his birth records. They questioned the Kanda family's neighbors, but nobody knew the father's name. Every one mentioned observing obvious signs of abuse. Some of them even tried to help her escape the man but she politely declined their offers. He abandoned the woman shortly after she became pregnant, and all the neighbors were glad to see him gone. Her only living relative was her father, and he had moved in with her during her pregnancy and stayed to help raise the boy.

When the sedative wore off, Yuu awoke to the sounds of beeping and a strong medicinal smell. His head hurt and his hands, chest, and right thigh ached and itched. He tried to scratch but his arms felt like they were strapped to something. Panic filled him so he ignored the throbbing in his head and opened his eyes. When the dimly lit room came into focus, he realized he was in a hospital bed. Bandages covered several large sections of his body and he wore an oxygen mask. Then, his memories returned. The next time a nurse checked on him, she found him sobbing. Yuu looked at her and spoke for the first time.

"Wh...wh..Why? Why did they...they die and l...l...eave me all a...alone?"

The nurse cried with him and told him she wished she knew the answers. She called for the doctor, who carried the heavy burden of explaining everything to Yuu.

"I'm really sorry your family is gone. They had to leave you here because you've got things to do. They love you and they'll always watch over you."

"But I can't see them. I don't wanna be alone."

"You won't be. I promise."

Yuu stayed in the hospital for two months. He did not need the oxygen mask for very long but the nurses made him use an inhaler three times a day. His thigh and hands healed after a couple of weeks. The skin graft on his chest took two months to heal enough to go without any bandages. He continued having episodes of screaming and staring at something that was not there. A psychiatrist diagnosed him with PTSD and taught him ways to calm himself during flashbacks. He also prescribed medicine to help reduce his anxiety.

The hospital released Yuu to an orphanage. He no longer needed an inhaler. His hands looked normal and his right thigh had very faint scarring. A slightly leathery, pinkish brown scar spanned the left side of his chest, several streaks running almost to his shoulder joint. It made him feel like a freak. He distrusted the new people and refused to speak. His flashbacks continued. Some left him screaming and sweaty while others caused trembling and crying. The orphanage's doctor increased the dosage of Yuu's anxiety medicine, which helped alleviate some of his worst episodes. The other orphans always teased him, occasionally hitting or kicking him. He never fought back or told the adults about it. The doctor lied to him; he lived alone in this world. His only reprieve was a small pond on the property.

A month after Yuu moved to the orphanage, world-renowned artist Froi Tiedoll came to Japan on business. As he walked to his hotel, Tiedoll noticed a fenced-in pond surrounded by a thicket of bamboo. He wanted to sketch the scene so he approached the gate. A woman sat on a bench and watched a group of children playing ball. Tiedoll called to her and introduced himself. She loved art and knew the names of several of his paintings. She invited him in for tea. While chatting with her, he asked if he could sketch the pond and bamboo. She gave her permission and told him the only child there was a silent boy who would not bother him.

Tiedoll excused himself and went to the pond. He noticed the boy was silent, shivering, and hugging his knees to his chest. His chin rested on his knees and he stared at the lotus blossoms floating on the pond's surface. Tiedoll said hello to the boy and the child cast a shy look in his direction. That look held deep sorrow, pain, and loneliness. The boy's gaze returned to the pond, silent tears trailing down his face. Concern filled Tiedoll and he immediately went to the woman and asked about the child. Deeply touched by his story, the artist knew he had to help him. They made adoption arrangements, and Tiedoll would officially become Yuu's father when the court representative approved the paperwork.

He returned to the pond and finished his sketch, adding the boy's profile to it. He smiled at the child and told him he would be back the next day. Yuu briefly wondered why the man would come back but then decided it was just another lie. The man surprised him by actually keeping his word. The woman in charge of the orphanage told Yuu that Tiedoll would be his new father. Tiedoll said he was an artist and the Dean of the College of the Arts at a school named Black Order University. He was sure Yuu would love it there. The adoption approval notice arrived the following day and the new family traveled to the U.S.

Once they were home, Tiedoll showed Yuu the art studio and told him to come use the supplies anytime he felt bad. The boy followed his instructions because he wanted to obey his new father. He quickly realized creating art was fun, and he released his pain and sorrow on paper, canvas and clay. His flashbacks still occurred but became less obvious to others. He merely stared blankly and trembled a little, then blinked and went into the studio. He grew comfortable around Tiedoll and slowly began to speak to him. He said he wanted to go by the name Kanda in honor of his deceased family. He believed there was someone special he had yet to meet and wanted nobody but that person to call him Yuu.

At first, Kanda only spoke Japanese, but he learned English from his father. He learned at a fast pace and soon acquired a decent English vocabulary. He had a strong accent but spoke carefully to make up for it. He enjoyed living with Tiedoll but continued to avoid strangers. One day, his father mentioned a couple of children that would be in Kanda's class. The Lee family had a daughter and Bookman adopted his own grandson when the boy's parents died. He told Tiedoll he was not ready to meet them but promised he would do it before school started. The three children met shortly after the girl's father died and they quickly became close friends. The girl was friendly and wanted to take care of everyone. The other boy was hyper, nosey, and sometimes annoyed him by calling him Yuu. Kanda retaliated by giving him the nickname "Usagi."

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AN: I hated to scar Kanda's chest but it insisted to be part of the story. It's in place of the tattoo. Don't feel too bad for him; Moyashis dig scars...


	4. Chapter 3 The Lee Family

AN: This chapter was supposed to be all about Lenalee, but Komui and Reever demanded to be in it too. They're together in this story and play a major role in this chapter. They'll be less involved as time progress. This chapter takes place in 1991-1999.

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**Chapter 3 ~ The Lee Family's Story**

Lenalee Lee was orphaned shortly after graduating preschool. Her parents died at separate times.

Her father's family had known the Walkers for generations, and they often served as accounting consultants for The Arc. When the current dean at BOA's College of Business announced his plans to retire, Neah immediately thought of Mr. Lee. He called and extended the job offer to the brilliant accountant, who happily accepted. The Lees had wanted to move to the US, and his new position provided them with the opportunity to do so.

The Lee family emigrated from China the first of June. At the time, they only had one child, Lenalee's older brother Komui, who turned ten years old their second week in Maine. The boy was exceptionally smart, and when he took a placement test at BOA, he scored two years above average for his age. Knowing how mischievous a bored Komui was, his parents agreed to let him skip those two years. The first day of school, Komui met Reever Wenhamm, a transfer student from Australia. He and his mother moved to Maine because she had a new job at the university, and he tested one year above average, placing him in Komui's class. The two boys bonded over their similarities and became best friends.

Dean Lee truly loved his new job. He quickly befriended Dean Tiedoll, who was also new to the university, and they often chatted in the main library. Meeting Bookman there, they soon drew him into their conversations. They learned that they all lived in the same neighborhood so they made plans to visit one another outside of work. The three deans held family dinners at least once a month and took turns hosting. Neah attended when he could and occasionally invited them to his home for a meal.

The next school year, Mrs. Lee became the preschool librarian. The job allowed her time away from home and the chance to spend the day with younger children. The family had settled in nicely, both at home and at school, and Mrs. Lee thought it was the ideal time for another child. She hoped her husband felt the same and decided a quiet weekend by themselves would give them time to discuss the issue. She made arrangements for Komui to spend the weekend with the Wenhamms. That Friday evening, the Lees enjoyed a romantic dinner and they decided to expand their family.

After two miscarriages, Mrs. Lee feared she was unable to have another baby. When she became pregnant a third time, she prayed fervently for their baby to survive. She carefully followed her doctor's instructions and hoped for the best. Everything seemed to be going well, but then she went into labor at 32 weeks. Mr. Lee rushed his wife to the medical center adjacent to BOA.

Dean Lee and his wife arrived within minutes due to their close proximity to the campus and a slight bit of speeding. An orderly brought a wheelchair out to their car and took Mrs. Lee inside while the dean parked. When he walked in, the receptionist sent him to the triage room occupied by his wife. Staff from Labor and Delivery came to take them to their unit. The labor progressed rapidly and Mrs. Lee soon gave birth to a girl. After being shown to her mother, the premature infant was moved to the NICU.

The delivery strained Mrs. Lee's body. Her heartbeat became erratic and breathing grew difficult. Nurses gave her oxygen but it provided little help, then she hemorrhaged after giving birth. The doctors and nurses worked arduously to save the woman, but their efforts failed. She passed on from this world with a peaceful expression on her face, her heart and soul filled with love for her family.

Dean Lee composed himself the best he could and left the tomb-like room. He went to the waiting area, dreading the bittersweet news he must share with his son. He approached Komui and the boy jumped up to meet him. After a quick hug, they sat down to talk. The dean first explained that the baby lived but needed to stay in the hospital for a while. Before he could continue, Komui interrupted him.

"It's cool my sister is gonna be okay, but it sucks that she's stuck here for now. It's so boring...do babies even get bored? I never thought about it before. I gotta research that. Oh yeah, does mom feel better since Lena lived? You did name her Lenalee right? Of course you did because it's what mom picked. Umm, why are you crying? Is it because Lena can't come home yet?"

Taking a deep breath, Dean Lee forced himself to respond.

"Son, of course I named her Lenalee. I had to in honor of your mother's memory. She was very pleased to see - "

"Wait, what? Honor Mom's memory? Was, as in past tense...shit, mom died!"

"Komui Lee, do not curse in front of me. It is disrespectful. Yes, your mother passed away. She lost a lot of blood and they couldn't save her. She got to see Lenalee first, and I knew she was happy."

"I...I don't know what...what to do. I always know what to do. Mom's gone and Lena's new and all alone...I...I can't..."

Komui burst into tears and slid to the floor, hugging his knees against his chest. Silently crying, his father remained seated and gently rubbed the boy's back. After the sobs subsided, the pair visited Lenalee in the NICU and then went home. Dean Lee called Tiedoll, asking him to contact everyone else. Komui called Reever but cried so hard it was impossible to understand him. His father gently took the phone away and asked to speak to Ms. Wenhamm. Within the hour, Tiedoll, Bookman, Neah, Ms. Wenhamm, and Reever arrived and did what they could to help their friends. While the widower and Neah made funeral arrangements, the other adults cooked and the young teens watched tv in the family room.

The simple yet elegant graveside service took place three days later. Afterwards, the Lees invited their friends over, and the adults began reminiscing about the departed. Komui did not want to listen to them, so he and Reever went outside. When they sat on the porch steps, Komui slipped his arm around Reever's waist, placing his head on his friend's shoulder and snuggling up to him. The action startled Reever, but he wrapped his arm around Komui and brought him even closer. Komui tilted his head up while simultaneously guiding Reever's face closer to his, and their lips met for the first time. Reever moved back so quickly it could not even be considered a kiss.

"Komui, we have to talk. I want this, but I'll refuse you if it's just grief or loneliness making you act this way. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. I've known for a while now that I want to be with you, to be your boyfriend, so I can't continue unless I know you feel the same."

"I've been in love with you for a long time. I wanted to confess my feelings, but I always stopped myself. I didn't want to risk losing what we already had. You're so important to me that I need to be with you even if I can't be more than your friend. When you pulled away from me just now, I was sure I'd ruined everything but I couldn't hold back any longer. Do you really want us to be boyfriends?"

"Absolutely. I've never been more certain of anything in my life. I love you and I want to stay by your side forever."

"So we're together from now on, right?"

"Definitely."

"Excellent. I'm so lucky to have you! So, umm...wanna make out now?"

In answer, Reever kissed him for the first time, deepening it almost instantly. He gently ran his tongue across Komui's bottom lip, and the boy opened his mouth, darting his tongue out to meet the other's. They battled for dominance, and Reever soon won, pulling Komui onto his lap as he claimed his prize. After a thorough exploration of the younger's mouth, Reever withdrew and Komui reciprocated, slipping his tongue between the elder's parted lips. They reluctantly came up for air then kissed again and again. Uncertain and uncaring of how much time had passed, the couple only stopped kissing once exhausted. Komui remained in Reever's lap, the pair cuddling for a while before going back inside. They walked in holding hands, the adults noticing but not commenting on it. They all knew the two boys liked each other and wondered why it took them so long to realize it.

For the next two months, the father and son visited Lenalee daily. The adorable baby girl instantly captured Komui's heart, and he vowed to his mother's spirit that he would always be there for his Lena. When the hospital released her, Lena's big brother asked to be in charge of her care, promising to meet her every need. Proud of Komui for being so devoted, the dean allowed him to handle most things, only intervening when circumstances required an adult. Lenalee was generally a happy and affectionate baby, and she liked all of her father's friends. She really loved Komui and Reever, and only they could console her on the rare occasions when she became upset.

The years passed by quickly for Dean Lee, who felt like his children grew far too fast. Komui was fifteen when he and Reever graduated secondary school with honors, and he turned sixteen that summer. In the fall, the young couple went to Black Order University, both of them majoring in biochemistry, and moved in together, renting an apartment near the campus. When Lena entered preschool, she could already speak three languages (English, Chinese, and Japanese) and was the friendliest, most intelligent student the teachers had ever seen. They knew she was ready for first grade despite being two years younger than average. Primary school required students to be a minimum of five years old, so she had to wait a year. She graduated right after her fifth birthday and wanted to make new friends before school began in the fall.

A month after Lena's graduation, Dean Lee went to New York for a business education conference. As he got out of his car in the convention center's parking deck, a man with a gun approached him, aiming the weapon at him and demanding all his money and his car. Two officers patrolling the area heard a single gunshot and raced towards the sound. They arrived in time to see the suspect rifling through the victim's pockets, running once he noticed them. One officer apprehended the man, placing him under arrest, while the other checked the victim for any signs of life. Finding none, he called for a coroner, who declared Dean Lee dead at the scene.

Lena stayed with Komui and Reever while her father was at the conference. On a warm, sunny day, they took her to a park across the street from their place so she could play with their neighbors' children. The young men sat on a nearby bench, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper. Komui sat his section of the paper down and rested his head on Reever's shoulder, causing the slightly older male to stop reading. He turned to face his lover and they started to kiss, but the ringing of Komui's cell phone interrupted them. The caller ID displayed an unknown number, and Komui answered, expecting it was his father calling from a hotel phone. After saying hello and stating that he was, in fact, Komui Lee, he grew silent. Reever watched as his face blanched and the phone slipped from his trembling hand. He picked up his love's phone and put it to his ear.

"Hello, hello...Mr. Lee, are you still there?"

"I'm afraid he's turned ill. I'm his partner, Reever Wenhamm. Can I be of assistance?"

"Wenhamm, Wenhamm...hmm, let me see. Ah, yes, you're listed as an emergency contact too so I'm allowed to disclose information to you."

"Information regarding?"

"Komui's father was the victim of a shooting and attempted robbery. I had more to say, but after telling him his father didn't survive, it sounded like he dropped the phone."

"He did. He appears to be in shock, not that I can blame him. What else did you need to say?"

"Given the unusual circumstances of the murder, the case is already going to trial. I wanted Komui to know so he could be in attendance. It begins this Monday."

"What unusual circumstances?"

"I'm afraid I can't give specifics over the phone, but I will say the prosecutors have very substantial evidence. You can schedule an appointment with the NYPD to learn more before the trial starts."

"Thank you, sir. I'll make sure to tell him when the shock wears off. Anything else?"

"No, that's all. Sorry to be the bearer of such dreadful news. Goodbye."

Reever took a few deep, calming breaths before turning to face his lover. Komui was still very pale and silent, but when the elder gently touched his cheek, he let out a small sob. Reever wrapped his arms around the young man, holding him in a strong embrace. Komui buried his face in his partner's chest and cried. They remained in the same position until he suddenly lifted his head.

"Oh, Reever, how am I going to tell Lena?"

After a bit of whispering, they came up with an idea they hoped would work. By this point, Lena noticed something was off and had run over to their bench to ask what was wrong. Komui picked her up and placed her between himself and Reever. She grabbed their hands and asked if they were okay. Komui squeezed her hand before replying.

"Lena, our father can't come back home. Remember when you asked about mom because people said she was dead? Dad told you that being dead meant moving to a home for good people who've done all they need to do here. Well, dad's done now, so he's with mom again forever. He left Reever and I here to take care of you. We have to go work on some stuff to get everything ready for you to live with us. You can't come with us to work, so we'll take you to stay with Tiedoll and Reever's mom for a while. Tiedoll has a son a little older than you that you've never met before. It'll be someone new to play with. We'll be back for you as soon as we can."

Lena's eyes grew huge and watery, but she nodded bravely. Reever helped her pack, then he packed a suitcase for himself and Komui, while the younger male called Tiedoll to explain everything. They drove to Tiedoll's house to drop off Lena, then left for the airport. She liked Tiedoll and Reever's mom, so she was okay with staying there, especially with a new person for her to play with. Lena did not see a boy anywhere and asked Tiedoll about him. The man told her that his son was named Kanda and had lived through some bad things that made him lose his first family. Tiedoll brought him home so he could be safe and happy, but the boy was still scared and hid a lot. This caused Lena to feel sad for Kanda, so she decided to find him and make him be her friend.

Komui and Reever landed in New York and contacted the NYPD to arrange a meeting before the trial began. The next day, they met with the officers who were at the crime scene. Once the couple swore not to reveal any information to others, the policemen told them what they witnessed and showed them the surveillance footage. Afterwards, Reever thanked them for sharing and said they would see them at the courthouse Monday morning. He led Komui back to their hotel room and spent the weekend pampering his overwhelmed partner. The trial went by quickly; the prosecutors revealed the detailed evidence, and the defense could do little to refute it. Within the first week, the jury was sent to deliberate and reached a guilty verdict almost immediately. The judge sentenced the convicted murderer to life in prison with no chance of parole.

While the trial took place, Lena spent her time hunting down and befriending Kanda. She caught her first glimpse of him during breakfast the day after she came to stay there. She was at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal when she saw a thin, long-haired boy walk into the room. When Kanda noticed the girl, he turned and ran out of the kitchen. Rolling her eyes, Lena abandoned her food and made an unsuccessful attempt to find him. The following day, she heard him asking his father why he had to make friends and go to school, but she never saw him. The third day, Lena trapped Kanda in the art studio. He was painting and did not notice her presence until it was too late. She ran up behind Kanda and hugged him, causing him to let out a loud shriek. Lena laughed and asked him to make the sound again. Glaring at her, Kanda asked her how she could be so happy after her dad got killed. She told him to stop being mean and threw an open jar of paint at him. It spilled all over his hair so he threw a jar at her. By the time Ms. Wenhamm found them, paint covered both of them from head to toe, and they were sitting beside each other whispering in Japanese.

The next step for Komui was to be awarded permanent custody of Lena, so he and Reever returned to Maine and met with Neah, his personal lawyer, and a judge. Dean Lee had named Neah the executor of his will, and the judge attended the reading because he wanted to resolve the issue of Lena's guardianship. Once Komui turned eighteen, his father had named him Lena's legal guardian if she ever needed one and had included a statement confirming that fact in his will. It also listed Komui and Lena as their father's beneficiaries, giving them all rights to the house and all its contents, the car, and all money. They inherited enough in savings alone to allow Komui to complete college without needing to get a job. After asking a series of questions, the judge awarded Komui legal custody of Lena.

Komui and Reever celebrated by going out to dinner and a movie, then enjoyed their last night in their apartment. The next morning they went to Tiedoll's house to tell everybody the good news and that they would be ready to take Lena home in a day or two. They discovered she and Kanda were now best friends and had met Bookman's grandson, Lavi, a couple of days ago. The three children became close, but they had different ways of showing it. Kanda and Lena tended to be nice to each other, while Lavi tended to aggravate them. Even though the boy annoyed the other two, they really liked him. Lena either laughed off his antics or lectured him, and Kanda acted mad but never fought with Lavi or avoided him, even defending the Usagi if need be.

Komui and Reever finished moving into the Lees' house two days later and Lena went home with them. She loved her family, but she hated leaving Kanda's side and wanted him to live there too. That did not happen, but they slept over at each other's houses pretty often, with Lavi joining them occasionally. They entered first grade in the fall and stuck together, helping each other remain calm when reminded of the sadness in their pasts. Lavi became the nosey, talkative, hyper boy of their class, and Kanda was always rather quiet unless provoked. When someone angered Kanda, they backed off quickly because he was scary when mad. Lena remained the happy, friendly, caring girl, but if anyone messed with her boys, she became scarier than Kanda.

* * *

AN: Tiedoll and Ms. Wenhamm began dating sometime between the death of Mrs. Lee and the murder of Dean Lee. She moved in with him but they haven't married. Kanda is Tiedoll's son but not legally Ms. Wenhamm's son. In the previous chapter, she wasn't mentioned because Kanda hid from her too.


	5. Chapter 4 Allen's Harrowing Early Year

AN: Takes place from 1993-2004. Sweet little Allen has a very, very tragic and violent past. Please, don't hate me! Cross Marian is trigger happy, but he's pretty nice (to certain people, including Allen).

* * *

**Chapter 4 ~ Allen's Harrowing Early Years**

Allen Walker was both orphaned and abandoned. Misfortune and misery followed the boy since the day he was born.

Allen's mother, Erin Michaels, gave birth to him on December 25, 1993. She immediately left him in the care of The Arc's orphanage, saying she wanted him but needed time to prepare her new home for him. Not even a month passed before she returned and said she and her husband, Ashley Vix, wanted to take Allen home. Erin appeared calm and well-dressed and had very polite manners, the complete opposite of the teary, frantic, unkempt woman who originally left her newborn son. The orphanage held to the belief that children do best when raised by family, and she now seemed ready for a child, so they decided to return Allen to her.

Allen's new father was an irritable alcoholic. At first, the man always directed his rage at Erin, cursing and threatening her, but it soon escalated to physical violence. He threw his empty drink bottles at her head and usually followed up with punches to her face and kicks all over her body. After more than a year of living this way, she begged him to leave. Ashley refused and warned that if she ever tried to leave him, he would kill her and her baby. Erin agreed to stay in order to protect her son.

Allen was 18 months old the first time his stepfather hurt him. It happened late one night after Erin blacked out from the pain Ashley inflicted. Her screams had frightened the little one and he began to wail, angering the man. He stomped into the nursery and slapped the boy hard across his face. Once the shock wore off, Allen cried again and was slapped harder. The cycle continued until the baby was too exhausted to make another sound; the grand total was 14 slaps, each harder than the last.

Over the years, Ashley continued abusing Erin the same way he always had, but his abuse of Allen grew worse. What began as slaps became punches, then he started grabbing the boy by the hair to drag him around and refused to give him enough to eat or drink. He whipped Allen with a belt in front of his wife if she dared to disagree with his actions. Erin tried constantly to get Ashley to leave him alone, but his reaction was to punish the child more. Their worst argument occurred on Allen's fourth birthday.

"Do anything you want to me, but please leave our boy alone. He's innocent and always so sweet to you even when you hurt him."

"That damned bastard is your son. I am not claiming the freak of nature!"

"He's not a freak! He's an albino. It's just his coloring."

"Call it what you like. It's still unnatural. Then there's his filthy arm. How the hell does 'an albino' have a blood-red left arm?"

"Doctors didn't explain. They only said it was a birth defect."

"See? Even medical professionals know the little wanker is defective."

"He's not defective! He doesn't look like other children, but he's still a person and he can feel pain just like everyone else can. He loves you. Why can't you love him back?"

"I don't want that beast's love! I want it to get the punishment it deserves."

"Allen is not an it! He's a precious little boy that doesn't deserve anything but love and happiness."

With that, Ashley shoved Erin down the basement stairs, breaking her neck. Allen was huddled beneath the kitchen table and witnessed the entire argument and subsequent murder. He did not understand the concept of murder, but he knew that his mother went down the stairs with an awful thud and a crunchy sound and never came back to him.

Ashley called for help, claiming his wife tripped on a toy and fell down the stairs. Before an ambulance arrived, he placed Allen's few toys on a couple of steps and around Erin's body. Officials spoke to Ashley, who put on a very convincing show of grief, and tried to speak to Allen, who merely curled up in a ball and cried silently. They ruled Erin's death an accident and left Allen alone with Ashley.

The next two years passed by in a blur of tears and pain. Allen received beatings most nights, and he fared worse on others. When Ashley was in a particularly foul mood, he either burnt his stepson's discolored left arm or made shallow cuts along the pale flesh covering the rest of the child's body. In order to avoid infections that might require a doctor's treatment, he always carefully cleaned and bandaged the wounds he caused. Allen never cried out nor even spoke, but he always obeyed the man's orders because he wanted to be a good son.

Ashley abused Allen for the final time on his sixth birthday, and it was the most physically violent episode. He began by branding a cross into the child's left hand, then made a quick, deep slash that stretched from right shoulder to navel. He carved an inverted pentagram above the boy's left eye and ended with a lightning-bolt running from it to the jaw line. Once finished, Ashley skipped the usual after care and shoved Allen out of the front door while shouting at him.

"Get out and stay out, you cursed monstrosity!"

Frightened and bleeding profusely, Allen wandered alone through the cold, snow-covered streets of London. The longer he walked, the weaker he grew. He finally succumbed to the welcoming darkness and fell to the ground.

After working his volunteer shift, Mana Walker left The Arc's orphanage. He saw a small child, probably about four years old, collapse at the end of the block and rushed toward him. He discovered rather disquieting injuries and knew immediate medical attention was necessary, so he grabbed the child and ran back to the orphanage. The on-site clinic's staff jumped into action at once, and after cleaning, stitching, and dressing the wounds, they recognized the boy by his pallid features and blood-red arm. It had to be Allen Walker, but he looked only four or five even though he turned six that day. Upon closer inspection, the doctor ruled the boy's malnourished state as the cause of his stunted growth.

A secretary retrieved Allen's birth certificate, given to them when he was first there, and showed it to Mana. The parents listed were Erin Michaels and Neah Walker, but the secretary said the mother claimed to be married to another man when she returned for the infant. Something told Mana the boy's stepfather caused the harm inflicted on him, and he wanted to hear the child's account of his injuries. He phoned his brother, Cross Marian, and told him he had to stay late at the orphanage. When asked why, he said they had a severely wounded boy there who was on record as Erin and Neah's son.

"Erin was pregnant when she left Neah and he didn't hunt her down? Once the kid's safe, I'm going to America to shoot that bloody prat of an older brother!"

"I'm more interested in finding out who did this to our nephew. That person needs to be brought to justice before we worry with Neah."

"So we shoot that bastard first, then we go shoot Neah."

"Cross Marian Walker! I said justice, not vengeance. You coming 'round to meet me?"

"I suppose..."

By the time Cross reached the orphanage, Allen was waking up. The boy willingly described the events leading him to faint outside of the building, though his reason was as heartbreaking as his physical condition. Allen said he deserved his injuries because he was a bad son, and he asked them to teach him how to be good enough for his "Pop." He was afraid that if he could not please the man he would end up like his "Mum" and disappear down the stairs forever.

Cross flew into a rage, and Mana pulled him away from the already terrified Allen.

"Now can I shoot the bastard? It's worse than just beating him. That kid actually believes he deserves all the shite that's been done to him! And he wants to be good enough to go back there to that smeghead!"

"It really is much worse than I expected, but the doctor is reporting him now. Give it a bit to see if he's convicted. If he goes free, I'll look the other way while you play blot out the bastard. Understood?"

"Fine...I'll wait but if I see him anywhere before then I make no promises to let him live."

The clinic doctor called the police to report Ashley for abuse, and he soon received a return call stating that the man was drunk and in custody. The officers discovered bloodied weapons at the scene and said they were coming by to take pictures of the injuries and ask the doctor if the weapons could have caused them. Allen panicked when he saw policemen and begged them not to take him away for being such a bad son. They noted the boy's state of mind, then collected the evidence they needed as quickly and quietly as possible.

Ashley confessed to the crime the next day and was later found hanging from his bed sheets. The news came as a relief to Mana, but it disappointed Cross because he wanted to personally end the abuser's life.

With his mother and stepfather deceased and Neah having never laid claim to him, the orphanage's social worker ruled Allen eligible for adoption. Mana heard the news and asked to adopt him. Given his relation to Allen and his spotless record, he was approved immediately. Early the next year, the small, fragile boy went to live with his new father and Cross. He was the sweetest, most loving boy and always treated everyone with kindness and respect. He remained eager to please others but gradually learned not to expect all mistakes to end in violence. Over time, Allen understood that he was a good son and worthy of love.

Cross Marian never got to shoot Neah. Mana had phoned their older brother and told him of Allen's hard life and his recent adoption. Neah said he called Erin frequently for a few years after the boy's birth, and she consistently told him how perfect their lives were without him. He eventually decided it was best to stop contacting them and leave them to their happiness. Neah never suspected Erin of lying, so the news of Allen's abuse took him by surprise and filled him with guilt. Mana gave him permission to visit if he wanted to, provided he act as the boy's uncle and never mentioned being his biological father. Neah agreed and visited on occasion, but he usually called instead and watched Allen grow up through the pictures Mana sent him.

A governess taught Allen at home, and he learned his lessons very quickly. It came as a pleasant surprise to Mana and Cross because they worried he would be slow to learn after the years of abuse he endured. Allen was also gifted with musical abilities and a natural aptitude for playing poker. Mana sang with his son, but the boy taught himself to play the piano. Cross taught him poker and was soon losing every hand even if he cheated. They were both so proud of Allen.

Allen continued to lead a happy, comfortable life until his eleventh birthday. He and Mana were walking home after volunteer work at the orphanage when a car skidded through the intersection they were crossing. Mana instinctively pushed Allen out of harm's way, but he sacrificed himself in the process. The boy could only stare in horror as his father was struck by the vehicle.

"I'll always love you, my son."

Immediately after speaking those words, Mana Walker died, leaving a heartbroken Allen behind.

Mana's funeral was held three days later, and the reading of his will followed the service. He left everything he owned to Cross Marian and Allen, and he also stated his desire for Cross to become Allen's legal guardian. Neah did not challenge any part of the will, but he told Allen that he was his real father and Mana was actually his uncle. He had no ill intentions when he spoke to the grieving boy, but it upset Allen. The youth knew Mana was not his father by birth, but he thought the man who abused him had been. Upon hearing the truth, Allen grew angry for the first time anyone could recall. He blamed Neah for leaving him to suffer for all those years.

"How about you leave me alone from now on? You did such an excellent job of it for my first six years!"

Allen left with Cross without saying another word. Neah hoped the boy would let him back into his life, but after several unopened letters were returned to him, he knew Allen never intended to forgive him. Neah phoned Cross one time to ask what he could do to gain Allen's forgiveness. The answer was brief and then all he heard was a dial tone.

"What you should have done was keep your bloody trap shut! You broke the boy's heart and I don't blame him in the least. From now on if there's any real business to discuss have your lawyer contact me. I'm through with you as well."

* * *

AN: For the record, I cried while writing this and during proofing/editing. Allen always has the worst childhood. And he's so loveable...

Neah's been a great man in the other chapters. He does as much good as he can and goes out of his way to help others. He carries the guilt of what happened to Allen deep within his heart, but nobody knows of it except Cross, Allen, himself and his lawyer.


	6. Chapter 5 Kanda and Alma

AN: I'm sorry for the unusually long wait. I had technical issues; most of this chapter was somehow deleted and had to be rewritten. There is yaoi at the end of this one, but it isn't Kanda/Allen yet. This chapter and the next will be about first relationships. They'll be meeting after that, I promise!

**Chapter 5 ~ Kanda and Alma**

* * *

As time passed, Lavi, Lena, and Kanda all grew to be attractive teens. The two males were now 15 and Lena was 13.

Lavi was tall and well-built, muscular but not overly so. He had a medium-fair skin tone and fiery red hair that fell haphazardly over his ears and face. He got his ears pierced last year and now sported a silver hoop in each one. He still wore a plain black eye patch to cover his ruined right eye, and his vibrant green left eye peeked through his hair. Most students found him "really cute."

Lena was petite but had long, shapely legs and, as Lavi put it, "glorious curves in _all _the right places." Long, dark lashes framed large, violet eyes, and she had a fair complexion. She kept her soft, black hair long until recently. An unfortunate incident involving fireworks singed it, leaving it above her shoulders in several places. She got a pixie cut and had hunter green highlights put in. Someone was always flirting with her.

While Lavi and Lena were both popular and good-looking, Kanda drew the most attention. He was tall and lean, and had perfectly toned muscles. His skin kept its light tan shade yearlong. His midnight black hair fell in long, silky waves that reached his lower back. It looked almost navy when the light hit it just right, and when that happened, his hair matched his almond-shaped, navy blue eyes. His enigmatic smirk added to his appeal. All of the students agreed that he was exquisite.

Not only did their friendship survive through the years, it grew much stronger. The trio never lied to one another and they shared everything. They even revealed their secrets to each other, but Kanda kept his deepest one to himself. The thought of telling his friends the truth worried him. He knew it would not upset them, but it still made him nervous. He wanted to confess to Lavi and Lena and finally convinced himself to do it. Now he simply needed the right opportunity to present itself.

It came two weeks later. It was a Friday night, and Bookman took Lavi out-of-town to visit relatives. Lena and Kanda did not have any plans and ended up watching a movie in her bedroom. Lena brushed his hair while he drew in his sketchbook. Suddenly, she asked if she could tell Kanda something really important.

"Of course you can."

"I like someone. It's Lavi. Am I weird? I mean we've been friends forever and you feel like a brother to me, but he never has. There's just something about him that makes me feel different when he's around."

"So you finally admitted it...I've known for a while now. I also know Lavi feels the same way about you."

"How did you know? And what's this about him feeling the same? Did he say something to you?"

"He didn't have to. I know you both well enough to see that it's true. You should tell him how you feel when he gets home tomorrow."

"Seriously? What if you're wrong? I'd never be able to face him again!"

"Che. Would I ever lie to you?"

"No! Of course you wouldn't. Why would you think I'd...Oh, I see your point. Alright, I'll do it!"

"Good. It'll be nice for you two to finally be together. It's gotten annoying."

"Bah, you act like such a grump sometimes but I know you're a romantic at heart."

"Che."

Lena went back to brushing Kanda's hair, and he sat there enjoying it and contemplated telling her his secret. As if she read his mind, she spoke again.

"You get asked out all the time, but you turn everybody down. Isn't there anyone you like?"

"Yes, there's someone I like a lot."

"Well, who is it?"

"I'm kinda afraid to tell you."

"Really? That hurts! You know you can tell me absolutely anything. Please, please don't be afraid."

"Fine." Kanda took a deep breath and continued. "It's Alma. I like Alma Karma and I have since the beginning of 8th grade."

"Awww, this is perfect!"

"Why? It's not like he likes me."

"How do you know he doesn't? What if he really likes you too?"

"You're evil, teasing me like this!"

"I am not! It just so happens that he asked me if we were gonna be at the soccer game tomorrow night. I told him I didn't know and he said he really hoped we'd be there, especially you, Kanda."

"He said that? Why?"

"Yup. He wants you to come see him play. And that's not all – he also asked if you were gay. He noticed you always turned girls down and knew it didn't necessarily mean you were, but he hoped so because he likes you."

"He told you he likes me?"

"Yeah, and he wants to ask you out but first he wanted me to find out if he's even got a chance with you."

"When did he talk to you about all this?"

"He caught me this morning before class. I told him I'd try to find out and let him know what I learned when we went to his game. Oh, this couldn't have worked better if I'd planned it!"

"Wow, umm, so what do I do now? How am I supposed to act around him?"

"First of all, we're definitely going to his game, and I'm asking Lavi to be my date. And you should be more relaxed and approachable around Alma. Act like you do when you're around me and Lavi."

"Speaking of Lavi, this is gonna be fun, messing with the Usagi."

"What do you mean?"

"We don't tell him anything and then he'll wonder what the hell's going on with me and Alma."

"Trust you to turn something so romantic into a way to freak out Lavi. Oh, and I almost forgot: you need to flirt with Alma. It'll encourage him, and he's so nervous that it'll give him some confidence."

"Flirt? Me! What the fuck?"

"Yes, you. Smile at him, cheer for him during the game. Say something more than 'che' when he talks to you. Maybe you'll even get the chance to touch him!"

"Touch him where?"

"Hmm, well aren't you a dirty minded little thing?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Kanda blushed and tried to hide his face.

"Sorry, but I couldn't resist. All I meant was for you to just brush your hand against his and let it linger a little too long for it to be 'an accident' or maybe lightly touch his arm."

"Oh." Lena smiled as she noticed the disappointment in Kanda's voice.

Saturday morning found Lena and Kanda frantically searching for the perfect thing to wear. Kanda had rushed home earlier to shower and he returned with a bag full of his clothes. Lena pulled out her favorite outfits, and the two took turns modeling for each other and helping narrow down their choices. Kanda was standing there in his third option, complaining about how this made him "feel like such a girl" when Reever walked in. Reever froze and then laughed.

"What makes you feel like a girl? Lena, did you make him model for you again?"

"No. Anytime I ask him to, I always tell him what a great model he'd be but he says he won't do it. This time I'm giving him advice on what to wear to the soccer game tonight."

"Why do you need advice? It's a soccer game. Wear something comfortable."

"I'm going tonight because Alma wants me to so I wanna wear something he'll like." Kanda avoided Reever's eyes.

"I recommended he wear nothing because I'm sure that'd be Alma's favorite, but Kanda threw a pillow at me. He just won't listen to good advice."

"Che, that's called indecent exposure."

"It'd definitely be indecent; everybody would faint from the beauty…"

"See, Reever? This is the help I get!"

"Yeah, Lena that's not really helping. He'd get arrested. So Kanda, you like this Alma guy?"

Kanda blushed and nodded.

"Does he like you too?"

"He told Lena he does."

"Then like I said before, wear something comfortable. It's a soccer game; you don't want to look out-of-place. You'll end up feeling awkward if you overdress and he'll probably wonder why you aren't dressed like you usually are. And Lena, weren't you trying on outfits too?"

"Yeah, I'm asking Lavi to go with me as my date instead of just as friends."

"Finally…I'm going back downstairs now. I originally came up to tell you the coffee's brewed."

Kanda and Lena quickly chose some of their favorite clothing. Kanda put on a sleeveless, form-fitting black shirt that accentuated his muscles, a pair of dark blue jeans, and his black combat boots. Lena dressed in a red, short-sleeved button up, a black skirt that stopped a few inches above her knees, and a pair of red strappy sandals. They went down to the kitchen, where Komui hopped off his chair and hugged Kanda.

"I'm sooo happy for you! That Alma boy is the soccer captain, right? And you're kendo captain. How romantic! Oh, and you two will look so good together. You're both super pretty!"

"Okay, down boy. Kanda, ignore him. He's doesn't mean to flirt like that."

"Reever darling, how could you think I was flirting? You know you're the only man I love."

"I know sweetie. I love you too. Now quit messing with Kanda."

"Fine...Lena?"

"Yes brother?"

"It's okay with me if you date Lavi, but know this: If he ever does anything to hurt you in any way, I will hunt him down, and I will make sure his death is as slow and painful as possible."

"Dear, you haven't had your coffee yet, have you?" Reever knew Komui hated the thought of anyone dating his "precious little Lena" and thought giving him his morning hit of caffeine would make life easier for everybody there.

"Coffee? Yay! Death threats are so much easier to plan after coffee!"

Reever rolled his eyes and led Komui into the living room, promising him he would bring him a large mug of coffee. He came back in the kitchen to fix his and his partner's drinks and apologized to the two teens. They said it was fine because Komui was Komui and they knew he meant well even if he sounded crazy.

* * *

Lavi and Bookman got home midmorning. After doing a few household chores, Lavi showered and put on his old, beat-up pair of white jeans and his "lucky" green shirt. He then headed for the door.

"Later Gramps! I gotta go meet up with Lena and Kanda. Probably gonna spend the night with 'em. 'Kay?"

"Have a pleasant evening, but remember if you are involved in any mischief, I will know it and you will regret it."

"Yeah, love ya too Gramps!"

When Lavi arrived at the Lee house, he found everyone watching a movie in the living room.

"Hey guys, ya miss me? Lena-lady, can I talk to you in private for a sec?"

"Sure."

Lena led Lavi to the kitchen, but he did not say anything. Instead, he hugged her tightly, then he kissed her on the mouth. It shocked her, but she kissed him back eagerly. When they parted, Lavi told her something that made her day.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that. I was scared it'd murder our friendship, but I just couldn't stop myself any longer."

"Oh Lavi, I feel the same way."

"Really? So ya wanna be my girlfriend?"

"Yes, yes, yes!"

* * *

A few hours later, Kanda and the new couple walked to the soccer field. They went early because they wanted the best seats. Lavi thought Kanda was acting nervous so he asked him what was wrong.

"Che. I'm fine, Baka Usagi."

Lavi knew he was not fine and wanted to press the issue, but Lena stopped him by telling him it was best to leave Kanda alone. When he asked her why, she said she had her reasons and refused to discuss it anymore.

When they got there, they got seats right at midfield. They sat at the bottom, only a walkway and a fence separating them from the players. Their school's team was on the field warming up. Lavi wrapped his arm around Lena's shoulders and she snuggled up to him. They talked excitedly while Kanda silently watched the team. He really like soccer and tried to focus on the team as a whole, but he could not keep his eyes off Alma. His perfect, muscular body; his spiky, dark brown hair with its two longer strands that framed his handsome face; his golden-brown eyes; his bright, friendly smile; the little scar across his nose; everything about Alma attracted Kanda.

After the team finished warm-ups, they walked to the locker room. Alma caught sight of Kanda and grinned. He told his team that he would join them in a few minutes, and he jogged over to the fence. He stopped right in front of Kanda and rested his hands on the barrier between them.

"Kanda! You're here!"

Kanda stood up and slowly stretched as far as he could, gracefully arching his back. He walked over to the fence and gently placed his hands over Alma's.

"Lena said you wanted me to come…and watch you play. I gotta admit it's a nice sight." Kanda moved his fingers lightly over Alma's when he said the words "come" and "play."

"It might be a nice sight, but it's not as beautiful as my view is right now."

"Thank you. You're sweet." Kanda blushed at the compliment. He could not believe this was actually happening.

"I can be even sweeter if you let me."

"Sounds like fun. I'm looking forward to it."

"We'll talk more after the game. When it's over, wait for me right here and I'll get ready as fast as I can."

"Sure. And Alma?"

"Yes?"

"Win the game, for me."

"As you wish, but I think I need a good luck kiss to help me."

Kanda moved one hand and touched Alma's face. He then slid his hand to the back of the boy's head and pulled him closer. They kissed passionately, hungrily, tongues curling around each other. Kanda never knew his first kiss would feel so incredible. Alma reluctantly broke the kiss and said he had to go before the game began. Kanda sighed but nodded. He watched Alma until he disappeared into the locker room. He turned around to sit down but was confronted by a wide-eyed Lavi.

"Dude! What the hell just happened? You and Alma? Since when? And how come I didn't know you were gay? Is this why you were all weird earlier?"

"Since now, and what just happened was exactly what it looked like. You didn't know I was gay because nobody knew until last night when I told Lena that I liked Alma. Lena told me he'd talked to her earlier that day and he wanted to ask me out but was afraid to. On Lena's advice, I decided to go for it but it made me nervous even though he'd told her he liked me."

"Cool. You know this means all three of us started our first relationships today? By the way, I had no idea you were such a flirt. Awesome job!"

"Thanks, I guess. I'm not really in my first relationship yet. He hasn't asked me out."

"'Kay, so you're technically not dating yet but ya know that's what he's gonna talk to you about."

"Lavi, quit bugging Kanda and let him sit and bask in the afterglow of that obviously delicious kiss."

"Alright, my lady."

* * *

To Kanda, it seemed like the game went on forever. He watched every move Alma made and cheered enough that it surprised him and his friends. He had never shown that much enthusiasm for anything in public. BOA won the game like Alma promised and Kanda waited on him anxiously.

Alma emerged from the locker room rather quickly, freshly showered and wearing an old Pink Floyd T-shirt and a pair of jeans that fit him perfectly. Lavi and Lena stayed where they were when Alma grasped Kanda's hand and led him away to sit and talk privately.

"Thanks for winning the game for me."

"It was that good luck kiss. You gotta do that from now on."

"So you want me at all your games because my kiss brings you luck?"

"No, I want you at all my games because I want to see you in the stands and know you're there for me. Seeing you makes everything better. I also want you there so everybody will know you're mine."

"Am I yours?"

"I want you to be. Guess I skipped over the asking you out part. Sorry about that. So, Kanda, will you be my boyfriend and I'll be yours?"

"Yes."

They shared their second kiss, going slower and enjoying every second of it. As their lips pressed more urgently against each other, Alma straddled Kanda's lap and licked his lower lip. Kanda parted his lips and Alma's tongue entered his mouth. Alma thoroughly mapped out Kanda's mouth before he pulled back, sucking Kanda's tongue into his mouth so he could have his turn. They separated only long enough to catch a quick breath and went right back to their deep, searching kissing. The longer it continued the more Alma found himself grinding against Kanda. He finally forced himself to stop and get off Kanda because he knew if they kept going they would end up getting carried away. He wanted their first time to be somewhere comfortable, not some hormone-induced quickie on the bleachers.

"We should probably get back to your friends. See if they wanna go eat with us or go home."

"We're going to go eat?"

"I'd be a shitty boyfriend if I didn't take my beauty out for a victory dinner after his kiss made me win."

Kanda blushed but took Alma's outstretched hand. When they reached Lavi and Lena, Alma laughed at the sight and Kanda rolled his eyes. Lavi and Lena danced on the walkway, exaggerating their movements and loudly singing off-key.

"They're made for each other. Nobody else would have them."

"Oh, you're just saying that, Kanda. You know those two love you and they're really nice people."

"Nice? Have you met Lavi?"

"I heard that Yuu-chan!"

"Do not call me that, you Baka! You guys wanna go eat with us or stay here and keep slaughtering every dance known to mankind?"

"Not fair, Kanda! You know I really can dance. We're just having fun. Nobody should be serious all the time." Lena pouted at him and then giggled.

"Yeah, my Lena-lady is going pro after school! Didn't you say something about food? I want food!"

"Yeah, I'm taking Kanda out to celebrate and thought we should invite you two."

"We'll go as long as we wouldn't be interrupting anything. If you want alone time we can go eat on our own, right Lavi?"

"Whatever ya say. You're the boss."

"Damn right I am!"

Lena pulled Lavi's face down to hers and kissed him. Kanda took the opportunity to kiss Alma again. The two couples agreed they would go out to eat together and Alma suggested they go to the new Italian place a couple of blocks away. Kanda grumbled about not trusting new places but he relented when Alma gave him a pleading look.

The restaurant had a wait time and they decided to stay on the building's porch until they were paged. Lena and Kanda sat on a bench, and Lavi and Alma sat on the porch rails behind them. Lavi's legs were on either side of Lena and she rested her arms on his thighs. Alma and Kanda did the same. Several groups of people sat outside, and a few commented on how beautiful the girl with the brown-haired boy was. Kanda grew more tense each time until Alma finally snapped and defended him.

"How in the hell can you people think Kanda is female? Yes, he is very beautiful, but he's obviously male. Just look at that chest and those shoulders! And if you paid more attention to his face, you'd see masculine features. Now quit insulting my boyfriend!"

"How rude!" gasped one woman.

"Yes, it is rude to talk about people. You should stop doing it."

"Well, I never!" she huffed before turning to her husband and saying, "We're leaving. I refuse to dine at an establishment that serves such sinful creatures." The man shot them an apologetic look, then followed his wife.

The woman's cruel words upset Kanda and he trembled as he tried to keep his composure. Alma felt it, and moved his legs to slide down and sit beside his boyfriend. He pulled Kanda close and stroked his long hair. Kanda laid his head against Alma's chest and cried quietly.

"Shh, it's okay, baby. You know most people around here don't care if two guys are together but there's always gonna be a few who judge us. Don't let their narrow-minded ways hurt you."

"I shouldn't have allowed it to get to me. It's humiliating. I'm tougher than this. It's just that I haven't had anybody talk about me like that since I was an orphan back in Japan. The other kids there always called me a girl. They said I was crazy and they hated me. I got beat up a lot. I was scrawny and weak back then so I couldn't fight back like I can now."

"I'm sorry that happened to you. I wish I'd known you then. I would've protected you. I'm here now and I'll be with you and keep you safe."

"I'm glad you will but it still sucks to feel so vulnerable again after being the 'tough guy' for years."

The hostess paged them and they went inside to be seated. They got a booth that gave them a little privacy so the couples cuddled as they waited on their food. Kanda did not notice Tiedoll and Alice Wenhamm leaving a nearby table. They saw him and knew he had to be on a date with the young male who held him. Tiedoll wanted to go say hello so they made their way over to his son's table.

"Hello Lavi, Lena. Hi son, who's your date?"

Kanda let out an undignified squeak when he heard his father's voice. He lifted his head from its place on Alma's collarbone and looked down at the table.

"Son, look at me. I don't mind you being with a boy. I'm happy as long as he's good to you and you're happy with him."

"Good. I didn't want you to find out this way but I haven't had time to think of how I'd tell you."

"Don't worry about it." The man turned to Alma and smiled as he held out his hand. "I'm Froi Tiedoll. It's nice to meet you."

"Alma Karma. And it's a pleasure to meet you sir. Thank you for accepting our relationship."

"Hi Alma, I'm Froi's fiancée, Alice Wenhamm, and there's no need to worry about acceptance. My son Reever has been with his boyfriend Komui for years and I love them both with all my heart."

"Thank you. It's nice to meet you too, ma'am. Reever and Komui…Why do those names sound familiar?"

"Komui's my brother and Reever and he have been together since I was a newborn. They raised me after my father was killed. I think I was talking about them while we were waiting outside. They're engaged but they can't get married 'cause they're both men." Lena sighed after she said it.

"Well kids, we need to head home. We have a long day tomorrow. I'm going out-of-state for a few days to oversee a gallery opening and Alice is going too. Kanda, don't skip school and make sure to lock up the house when you're not there. I assume you're staying at Lena's tonight?"

"Yes."

"Okay. We'll see you Thursday. Call me if you need me. Have fun."

During dinner, Alma placed his hand on Kanda's knee. He started to slowly run his hand up and down Kanda's thigh, not going very far from his knee at first. He gradually moved higher until his hand came dangerously close to Kanda's manhood.

Kanda grew more and more aroused as Alma stroked his thigh. He held back a few soft moans that threatened to escape his mouth. He found it difficult to sit still. He wanted to drag his boyfriend off somewhere private and make him relieve the building sexual tension.

Alma leaned toward Kanda and whispered in his ear.

"I wanted to let you know how bad I want you right now. If I thought you could stay silent I'd have my hand around your cock, stroking you till you came."

Kanda let out a barely audible whimper and Alma moved his hand back to his knee.

"I'll be a good boy for now. We'll continue this later."

Kanda spent the rest of dinner trying to focus on the others, but he longed to be done with it. Once they finished, they decided to go back to Lena's. The couples walked hand-in-hand and quickly arrived at their destination.

"Oh Alma, I should warn you that my brother and Reever usually have a few drinks on Saturday night. They aren't mean or anything, but they'll probably be all over each other."

Alma just shrugged and nuzzled his face into the crook of Kanda's neck. Kanda sighed at the contact and wished they were in the house and upstairs already. His eagerness surprised him because he typically hated people touching him. Only a very select few got to lay a hand on him without him threatening bodily harm. Alma was definitely one of the elite; Kanda craved more intimate contact with him. He had wanted him for so long, and now that he had him, he wanted all of him.

They went inside and saw Reever on the couch, Komui straddling him as they made out.

"See? They get carried away and forget they're in the living room. Anyways, let's go to my room and watch a movie."

The four teens made their way upstairs and into Lena's bedroom. Lavi settled on her bed while Kanda and Alma sat on the floor and leaned against the bed frame. Lena browsed through her movie collection and realized a horror movie would be a good choice. Watching something scary provided a good excuse to hold each other. She made a selection and popped it in the player, then turned off the light and joined Lavi on her bed.

Alma immediately wrapped his arm around Kanda's shoulder and drew him in for a quick kiss. Kanda snuggled against him and smirked as he placed his hand on Alma's knee. Within a few minutes, he was stroking his boyfriend's thigh, repeating Alma's earlier motions. However, rather than stopping at the point Alma did, he kept going, stroking teasingly close to the rapidly hardening member.

Alma closed his eyes and moaned softly. He needed more than the slow strokes through his jeans. He captured Kanda's hand as it made its way up his thigh and pressed it against his erection.

"We need to find some privacy right now or I'm gonna jump you in front of the others."

Kanda smirked in triumph and turned to check on Lavi and Lena. They were in their own little world, lips locked together and one of Lavi's hands making its way under Lena's skirt.

"Che. It's not like they'll notice if we leave. Come on, there's a spare bedroom two doors down."

Kanda led Alma to the bedroom and told him to sit on the bed.

"I'll be right back. Gotta grab something from another room."

"Please make it quick!"

Kanda loved the desperate tone in Alma's voice. He went to Komui and Reever's room and searched for a bottle of lube. He found a couple in their bathroom and picked up the unopened one. Kanda pocketed the lube and quickly made his way back to his boyfriend. He found Alma rubbing himself through his jeans.

"Get a little impatient?"

"What'd you need anyway?"

Kanda tossed the bottle at Alma and smirked when he read the label.

"I'm not sure how far we'll make it so I thought we might as well be prepared."

"Excellent thinking. Care to help me out of these jeans? They're getting really tight."

Kanda pushed Alma back so he would have more room. He got on the bed and crawled toward his boyfriend, settling between his legs. He kissed him deeply and got a frustrated moan in response.

"Please Kanda…no more teasing. You're killing me."

Kanda's hands were instantly on Alma's pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. He shoved the jeans and boxers down as far as he could get them. He smiled at the long, thick length and slowly trailed his fingers from base to tip. Alma shivered at the gentle touch. He let out a pleased sigh that became a groan when Kanda gripped him and began stroking. The pace was slow and even at first but soon grew faster. Each time he reached the tip, he rubbed his thumb over the slit. Alma came with a cry of Kanda's name.

Alma watched as Kanda carefully licked his hand clean. He sat up and reached for him, pulling him into a hungry kiss. He forced his tongue into Kanda's mouth, savoring the taste of his seed mingled with Kanda's unique flavor. He quickly pushed his boyfriend down on the bed and placed himself between his legs.

"My turn."

He kissed his way down Kanda's neck and bit at the juncture between neck and shoulder. He sucked on the spot, making sure to leave his mark. His hands slid beneath the boy's shirt and tried to lift it out-of-the-way. Kanda grabbed his wrists and held them in place.

"No. The shirt stays on."

"But I promise it'll feel good."

"No. I…I can't let you see me like that."

"Why not? Here, I'll take mine off too." Alma pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side.

"You look great without a shirt. I wish I did."

"Damnit Kanda! Just let me see you. I'm sure you're just being paranoid."

"Fine, but don't say I didn't try to stop you. I hope you won't leave me after this."

Alma raised Kanda's shirt and gently pulled it over his head. He took in the muscles and the thin trail of hair starting at the navel and disappearing beneath his jeans. He saw nothing for his lover to be so worried about, until he realized there were scars across the left side of his chest. Alma had been so preoccupied by Kanda's beauty that the scars did not even register at first. He carefully placed his hand in the center of the scar and frowned when the boy tried to move away.

"Kanda. Kanda! Look at me!" He used his free hand to turn Kanda's face toward him. He sighed at the tears filling the navy blue eyes. "Please listen to me. I didn't even notice the scarring at first. It absolutely does not change the way I feel about you. You're beautiful. Every single inch of you is perfect." He kissed his way across the marred flesh.

"How can you say that? It's hideous."

"Scars do not make you ugly. They simply show you've survived Hell."

With that, Alma moved his mouth to the right and licked Kanda's nipple. He took it into his mouth, nibbling and sucking until the male beneath him moaned in pleasure. He kissed his way down to the waist of his boyfriend's jeans. He sat up and undid them. Kanda breathed a sigh of relief at the sudden lack of restriction. Alma stroked him, amazed at the size. He knew he was well-endowed himself, but Kanda was even more gifted.

Alma lowered his face to Kanda's member and licked it from tip to base. He looked straight into those beautiful eyes and quickly took as much as he could into his mouth. Kanda gasped at the sudden moist heat engulfing him. Alma bobbed his head up and down, swallowing frequently. His tongue traced the thick vein on the underside of his lover's member. He knew by the sounds Kanda made that he was close. Alma pulled back until only the tip remained in his mouth and delved his tongue into the slit. He sucked harder and harder and soon found his mouth filled with Kanda's essence. He swallowed all of it and sat up, happily licking his lips.

"You are delicious."

"Then get your ass up here and kiss me."

Alma did as he was told and Kanda shoved his tongue into his mouth. Alma was right; the combination of their different tastes really was delicious. They made out for a while and when they broke apart, Kanda smirked at Alma's member, hard once again. He pushed his lover flat against the bed and reached for the bottle of lube.

"It seems like this will be useful after all."


	7. Chapter 6 Is Allen Unloveable?

AN: Allen's 14 now. This chapter is mostly dialogue, all between him and his best friend (oc).

It isn't what I originally intended. Narain was supposed to be Allen's first boyfriend, but it refused to work out that way.

* * *

Oh, and I can't remember if I've thrown a disclaimer in before so here goes…

I do not own –Man or any of its characters. If I did, Kanda would never, ever wear a shirt and he and his Moyashi would have been in love at first fight.

* * *

**Chapter 6 ~ Is Allen Unloveable?**

It was Valentine's Day 2008. Allen was forced to attend a party and he drug his best friend Lucy along as his "date." The stuffy, formal atmosphere bored both of the teens. Their only entertainment came from watching a tipsy Cross flirt with anyone attractive: male, female, Cross really did not care.

"Hah! That blonde ice queen just walked away from him without uttering a single word."

"Yeah, my uncle isn't very lucky this evening."

"Hey, Al, check out that guy at the bar. Cross will aim for him next because he's gorgeous and near the alcohol. I bet you he'll get ignored again, or if not, he'll still be turned away."

"I'll take that bet. I'm certain I saw him watching Cross earlier, and I noticed they're drinking the same wine. He really is gorgeous. If only I were older…I'd go chat with him myself."

"You and Cross competing for dates…I'd love to see that!"

"That will never happen. You know he doesn't do dates. He's in it simply for a night of pleasure. I honestly can't understand it. Why would anyone want sex with no emotion behind it? Oh, Lucy, I'm so sorry. I wasn't directing that at you. I mean, you did quit your first day and hadn't actually slept with anyone yet and I mean you tried but it doesn't count if-"

"Calm down Allen. You're babbling again. You don't have to be so sensitive around me. I'm just thankful you were my first 'client.' Talking to you that night kept me from doing something I didn't really want to do. You didn't offend me."

"If you say so, and I'm thrilled I helped you out. Makes me glad Cross ignored me when I said females simply weren't attractive."

The two fell into silence when they saw Cross approach the man seated at the bar. Both men seemed interested and soon disappeared down a hallway.

"Pay up!"

"Later. I don't have any money on me."

"But you made the bet in the first place."

"Yes, and I expected to win. Besides, do you seriously think there's anything as functional as a pocket in this ridiculous dress?"

"Good point. Men get more convenient dress clothes."

"Absolutely. It's really unfair. Speaking of dress clothes, have you been here long enough yet? I know The Arc expected you to be here, but every person of note spoke to you already and you weren't told you had to stay the whole time. I'd like to go back to your house where we can wear comfy clothes, eat normal food, and watch movies."

"I agree. Let's go. Now that we know Cross is occupied for the night we can leave without waiting on him."

* * *

Allen called for his car and they went back to his estate. The pair quickly changed clothes and met in the kitchen to grab their snacks and sodas. They went to Allen's bedroom and he started a movie, a romantic comedy they both liked. He then joined Lucy on the mound of pillows and blankets that covered most of the floor.

Lucy reached for a bag of chips and placed it between her and Allen. They snacked in companionable silence. About midway through the movie, Allen sighed wistfully.

"What's the matter?"

"Am I unlovable? I mean, I'm wealthy and from a well-known family. I'm a sort of famous pianist and composer. Why am I single?"

"You forgot singer, and it's more than sort of…you never give yourself enough credit. And do you really want someone to date you because of money, family, or fame?"

"Now that you mention it, that wouldn't be much of a relationship, but I still wish I had a boyfriend."

"Have you ever asked anyone out?"

"No, but there isn't anyone I really like that way now. There was this one guy I went on a date with. We both really enjoyed it and shared a lovely kiss at the end, but he had to move back to India before anything more came of it."

"Isn't it better to be single than with someone you don't really care for?"

"You're right. I'm just really lonely. I see happy couples and they always make me jealous. Doesn't being single bother you?"

"Well, yeah, especially since that cute waiter started working with me. You met Matt didn't you? He flirts and we want to date, but damn it feels like we're never going to get a day off together to go out."

"Not helping…."

"Sorry. Maybe you'll fall in love with someone at the recording studio. That'd be nice."

"Doubtful. Everybody there is either older than I'd go for, straight, or taken."

"Okay, so that's out. Why don't you try going out more often? You could go to the events you always skip. You never do anything social unless you have to because you're a Walker. If you were more approachable, more available, maybe you'd meet a nice guy."

"I am approachable! I'm always smiling and polite to the people I speak to."

"Uh-huh…and it's not faked or forced at all."

Allen crossed his arms and pouted at that. He ignored her throughout the rest of the movie. When it ended, he got back up and put in a horror movie.

"Allen, quit sulking already. And why that movie? I'm not in the mood for blood and gore tonight."

"I am not sulking; it's called quiet contemplation."

"Nope, you're definitely sulking. And I thought we agreed on romantic movies tonight."

"Contrary to popular opinion, I am a guy. I like violent movies sometimes. Besides, this takes place on Valentine's Day and there are couples in it, so technically it qualifies."

This time Lucy pouted but she did not go change the movie. Instead, she snuggled up against Allen and hid her face when she got frightened. Allen did not mind; it was not sexual at all for either of them, and he enjoyed feeling like a protective big brother. At the end of this movie, he posed a new question.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"I don't know. It's a beautiful concept, but I'm not sure if it really happens or not. I know it hasn't happened to me before. The closest I've come has been 'hey, he's cute!' at first sight."

"It'd be nice if it really existed, but it probably doesn't. It's entirely too romantic to be real."

"If you've already convinced yourself it doesn't exist, why'd you ask me?"

"Wishful thinking. I'd hoped you might believe it did."

"Like I said, it hasn't happened to me, but that doesn't necessarily mean it never happens."

"So you really think it could or are you just humoring me?"

"I really don't know. Sorry. If I knew, I'd tell you."

Allen sighed again and headed for the bedroom door.

"Where you going?"

"More food, of course."

"Bottomless pit!"

"Always."


	8. Chapter 7 Going to LondonWaiting for

AN: December 21, 2008 – This is the first chapter where Kanda and Allen will both appear, though not at the same time.

* * *

**Chapter 7 ~ Going to London/Waiting for Company**

"Like Hell I'm going!"

"Kanda Yuu, you will be going to London with us, and that's final!"

"I'm staying here."

"I am not leaving you by yourself over the holidays."

"Why not? Decided you can't trust me anymore? It's been 6 damn months."

"Son, you've been through a lot this year and we almost lost you. I want you with us for Christmas."

"And I don't want to fly to London just for some pansy-ass benefit concert and to be set up with that damned Walker brat."

* * *

Alice sat on a stool in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee and trying her best to ignore the shouting coming from upstairs.

The argument started a week ago, when Neah first invited everybody to accompany him to a benefit concert in London. The group going consisted of Tiedoll, Alice, Kanda, Lena, Lavi, Neah, and Tyki Mikk. Tyki was Neah's new personal attorney and went with him on any out-of-town trips.

Reever and Komui politely declined because they had already made plans to vacation in Hawaii. Before the invitation came along, they asked if Lena could spend the holidays with Kanda. Tiedoll had assured them she was most welcome.

Bookman was not going either; he said he needed to take care of some "personal matters." He gave Lavi permission to go with the others.

Alice and Tiedoll packed last night and were now waiting on Lena and Lavi to arrive. They planned to go to Neah's and then they would go to the airport where a private jet was on stand-by. There was only one flaw in their holiday plans: Kanda refused to go with them.

Tiedoll and Kanda spent the entire week bickering over whether or not Kanda had to go to London. Tiedoll did not want to leave Kanda alone because he worried about his son and he also wanted them to be together for Christmas. Kanda wanted to stay home. He preferred to spend the time in solitude rather than be forced into attending awkward social events. He did not care about London, or concerts, or meeting "that damned Walker brat."

* * *

Lena, Komui, and Reever walked into Tiedoll's house in time to hear Kanda saying his dad decided not to trust him.

Lena listened intently to the continuous arguing coming from Kanda's bedroom. She quickly hugged Komui and Reever goodbye and darted up the stairs to rescue Tiedoll.

"Dean Tiedoll, I can take it from here. I promise Kanda will be ready to go in time." She smiled at Tiedoll and then turned to glare at Kanda.

"Oh, thank you, Lena dear. I have some last-minute things I need to take care of but Yuu here has been keeping me busy."

"Do not call me that, old man!"

"Anyway, I'll just leave him to you. He listens to you better than me most of the time." Tiedoll rushed out of the room with a relieved expression on his face.

"Kanda Yuu, just what the hell are you thinking?"

"Not thinking, knowing. I know I'm staying here. Fuck London."

"You are not staying here. Nobody else will be here and everybody wants you to come with us."

"Not everybody. _I_ don't want to go."

"Why not? What's so wrong with visiting London? Are you afraid to meet Allen?"

"Che, I'm not afraid. It's just pointless. Why go through all the trouble of packing and flying and sitting through some boring piano bullshit? I can be just as bored right here and then at least I'd be comfortable."

"You don't want to meet new people?"

"Why would I? They're all assholes."

"So me and Lavi are assholes too?"

"You're not but I'm not too sure about the Usagi…"

"If I'm not an asshole, that means not all people are. Come on, Kanda. At least give this trip and the new guy the benefit of the doubt."

"It sounds too much like I'm being set up. You know I'm not gonna date again."

"Uh-huh, never, ever, ever again under any circumstances no matter how awesome the guy may be – you've sworn yourself to celibacy. Look at me, I rhymed!"

"Whatever. I'm still not going."

"Yes. You. Are! Now quit whining and pack your suitcase already. Or do I have to pack for you?"

"I don't whine."

"Whine, bitch, whatever…I'm packing for you now." Lena started going through Kanda's dresser and closet and picked out what she deemed his best clothes. She placed everything neatly into his suitcase and closed and zipped up the lid.

"Tada! All done. Time to go downstairs now."

Kanda just sat on his bed and stared at nothing in particular. Lena walked over and stood facing him and grabbed his chin, forcing him to meet her gaze.

"I'm sorry if people have made this sound like they're setting you up with this Allen guy. When they say you two would get along, that's all they mean. Nobody has mentioned anything about trying to get you two together. I promise. Trust me, I've been spying and I haven't overheard a thing about it."

"So I'm just supposed to go and be polite and shit and that's it?"

"Yes, Kanda. Nothing more than that. We're just wanting you to quit being so reclusive. We want our old Kanda back. You haven't wanted to go out and do anything since…well, since you know when. We just want to help you. Now come on. I hear Lavi downstairs and if we don't get to the kitchen soon he'll just come up here and annoy you into going."

"Oh Yuu-chan? What are you doing up there with my Lena-lady? She's not a boy, you know!"

"Speak of the devil." Kanda groaned but he stood and grabbed his suitcase.

* * *

In London, Allen paced frantically back and forth through the living room. Cross sat on the sofa, drinking his wine and smoking. Allen had been going on and on about Neah long enough for Cross to be on his third bottle.

"Stop pacing! You're making me ill."

"No, the abuse your liver endures is making you ill. And I'm not pacing! I'm merely walking across the room whilst deep in thought."

"That is pacing! Now either sit down and speak to me like a sane person or go pace in some other room."

"Who says I'm sane? Bloody hell; are there any sane members of the Walker family?"

"Beats me. Now sit and talk or get out."

Allen plopped down beside his uncle and stole his wine. He took a generous sip and did not return the bottle.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Abusing my liver. I need it right now."

"Fine, fine. Just bring me a new bottle. Not enough left in that one to hurt you anyway."

Allen rolled his eyes but went and grabbed an unopened bottle for Cross. He opened it and poured a glass for the man. He then returned to his own seat and picked up the partially emptied bottle again.

"Now that I should have enough drink to get me through whatever's on your mind…"

"Alright already! So, do you think there's any chance Neah would listen to me this year? Last time I tried to reconcile with him he refused to speak to me. He wouldn't even hear me out. Is there anything I can do or say that will get his attention? I know I was quite rude when Mana died but he should hardly hold a grudge over that for so long. I was little and grieving. What did he expect I'd do when he told me he was my real father?"

"I don't know, kid. Neah's always been the tight-ass out of the three of us. It still shocks me that the bastard reproduced."

"Gee, thanks…your insight is ever so helpful."

"Sorry, but it's the truth. It's impossible to understand what goes on in his mind. There's a bonus to this year's visit though."

"Do tell."

"He's bringing friends this time. Yeah, I know, surprised me too when I heard he has some friends. These friends of his, they have teenage children. You'll actually not be surrounded by a bunch of old farts and one cool uncle this time. You'll have people your own age to annoy."

"Hmm, any of these teenagers happen to be hot and single?"

"That's more like it."

"So do you know?"

"Not really. I know there's two guys and one girl. She's dating one of the guys but I couldn't find out any info on the other one. He may or may not be hot, or single. I don't even know his orientation. Sorry. Guess it gives you something to look forward to finding out."


	9. Chapter 8 Introductions and a Concert

AN: December 22, 2008 – Yep, they finally meet. Also, my husband – he can't shut up anytime I'm trying to write…ugh, anyway…Allen and Kanda!

**Chapter 8 ~ Introductions and a Concert **

Everyone gathered downstairs to meet Allen and Cross. Neah and Tyki stood close to the doorway, and it was obvious that Neah wanted to be elsewhere. Tiedoll and Alice sat nearby and discussed what could be wrong with the man. Lavi, Lena, and Kanda sat on a couch across the room from the others. Lavi and Lena talked about their plans for the rest of their time in London while Kanda sketched in the book he always kept with him.

Allen and Cross walked in through the doorway beside Neah and Tyki. Allen immediately smiled at his father and reached out as if to hug the man. Before Allen could touch him, Neah nodded at him and turned to speak with Cross. Allen cringed but said nothing about the show of rejection. He introduced himself to Tyki.

"Allen Walker. Pleased to meet you, Mr?"

"Mikk, Tyki Mikk. I'm the president's new attorney."

"Well, Mr. Tyki Mikk, good luck working for that cold-hearted bastard."

* * *

"What was that about?" Neah whispered to his brother.

"He's forgiven you. He wants you to be a part of his life again but you keep ignoring him."

Cross glared at Neah and began talking to Tyki.

"Hello, beautiful. Please tell me you aren't with my older brother."

"I am, but it's strictly business. I'm his lawyer, Tyki Mikk."

"Cross Marion Walker and I will be your personal escort for this evening."

"Personal, hmm?" Tyki said with a flirtatious smile.

* * *

Allen rolled his eyes at Cross and walked towards Tiedoll and Alice. He introduced himself and the pair urged him to go meet the others. He turned to the three teens sitting across the room. The redhead and the girl had to be the couple Cross mentioned. The second male was absolutely gorgeous, and Allen could not help but stare. He suddenly felt anxious about meeting them but took a deep breath and kept walking.

Lavi and Lenalee watched as Allen slowly worked his way towards them. They noticed the boy pause when he saw Kanda. They grinned at each other.

"Oh, Allen's so cute! And to think, Kanda called him a damned brat without even meeting him first."

"Lena, really? Telling your boyfriend another guy is cute...that's so wrong. But yeah, the guy is adorable. Oi! Yuu-chan, put down your damn pencil and check out this Allen dude."

Kanda stopped drawing and smacked Lavi on the head with his sketchbook.

"Baka Usagi, do not call me by that name!"

"Whatever. Just get a look at him. Bet you'd love what you see. He'd look great cuddled up against - Ow! What was that for?"

Kanda hit him again just as Allen reached them.

"Nice shot. I'm Allen Walker. What's your name?"

At the sound of the soft-spoken, beautifully accented voice, Kanda looked up and froze. The young male before him took his breath away. Allen was rather short and slender, but Kanda suspected he hid muscles under his tuxedo. He wore his thick, snowy white hair pulled back at the nape of his neck and several loose strands framed his face. His skin was like porcelain, flawless except for a scar that ran above and below his left eye. Storm gray eyes met Kanda's navy blue and Allen smiled; his light pink lips made Kanda wonder if they would feel as soft as they looked. He unconsciously licked his own lips. Lavi nudged him with his elbow, breaking the spell.

"Kanda Yuu."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Kanda."

Allen reached out to shake his hand and Kanda hesitated briefly. Allen just smiled, but Kanda saw a flicker of raw emotion within those gray orbs. It made him take Allen's hand in his. The contact only lasted a few seconds but it made Kanda feel more alive than he had felt in a long time.

At that moment, the butler announced that it was time to leave. The teens were shocked to find two limos waiting out front.

* * *

Cross and Allen stood back, watching as the adults entered one limo while the teens entered the other.

"So I found out from Tyki that the ponytail kid is gay. You like him already, don't you?"

"His name is Kanda, and he's certainly attractive, but I have to get to know him better before I can decide if I truly like him."

"You and your romantic nonsense. I swear if you keep this up, you'll never get laid."

"There's more to a relationship than sex."

"Says the _virgin_."

"Go play with the lawyer, you _slut_."

"I intend to. Have fun with that whole 'get to know him better' thing."

"Heartless sex-fiend."

"Idiotic pansy."

"Drunken pervert."

* * *

While Allen and Cross insulted each other, Lavi and Lena began their attack on Kanda.

"I told ya you'd like him!"

"Seriously, Kanda, why don't you try dating again? Allen is definitely interested."

"No. So what if he's attractive? Even if he's interested it doesn't mean I should date him or anyone else."

Lavi and Lena sighed at the same time. They knew Kanda had convinced himself that dating was a bad idea, but they sincerely hoped he would abandon his faulty logic. Yes, his relationship with Alma ended in disaster, but that did not mean Kanda had to give up dating forever.

"You could at least get to know him a little. That won't hurt anything."

"I'd rather not."

"Why not?"

"I'm a...oh, nothing. I just don't want to."

"Aww, Yuu-Yuu, come on..."

Lena knew something was bothering Kanda because he did not threaten Lavi.

"Kanda, please tell us why."

"I just don't want to get to know him."

"Kanda..."

"I'm afraid if I do, I might like him. I can't afford to do that."

Lena was about to say something else, but Allen joined them. Kanda fidgeted and looked out the window while Lavi, Lena, and Allen chatted. He jumped when he suddenly felt a gentle touch on his knee. Turning to look, he saw Allen's beautiful smile and concern-filled eyes.

"You okay? You seem awfully quiet and tense."

"Sorry. Just lost in thought."

Lavi and Lena exchanged knowing looks while Allen merely nodded.

* * *

Kanda watched Allen throughout his performance.

Allen looked straight at Kanda as often as he dared.

Both of them felt the pull.

It encouraged Allen.

It terrified Kanda.


	10. Chapter 9 Hurt

AN: After the Concert - In the middle of the night in the Walker Manor, one of the current occupants is battling his own personal Hell.

**Chapter 9 ~ Hurt**

"_That's my baby. Shoot up and we'll have some fun."_

_A needle pierces the flesh of his arm._

_The familiar euphoric rush sets in._

_Pleasure._

_The craving for more and more._

_Pain._

_The never-ending cycle of drugs and rough sex._

_The pleasure grows less, the pain more._

_The most incredible rush he's ever felt._

_The harsh slice of the blade._

_Blood everywhere._

_Fear and panic._

_Darkness._

_White walls._

_Forced rehab._

_The need to escape._

_Hurting himself._

_Restraints._

_Screaming._

_Crying._

_Sickness unlike anything he's ever known._

_The sympathetic looks from friends and family._

_The harsh, judging stares from others._

* * *

He awoke with a scream of anguish, heart pounding away in his chest, sweat-drenched, trembling, and panting harshly. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the physical sensations: he lived through it all over and over again. Once more, his memories trapped him and drug him back down into the abyss he longed to escape.

He slowly reached out to the bedside table, feeling around for the ever-present prescription bottle. Finding it, he shook out two of the small white tablets and swallowed them dry. He hated the bitter taste, but he knew that without them the panic and anxiety would only grow worse until it consumed him completely.

He suddenly realized there was a wet warmth on his left forearm, just below the bend of his elbow.

"Not again…" he murmured as he flipped the lamp on.

Yes, again. The raw, bleeding scrapes across his arm taunted him. Not only did he suffer from nightmares, flashbacks, memories, or whatever the hell his shrink wanted to call them this week, but he also continued to attack himself.

He groaned as he climbed out of bed. He grabbed his first-aid kit, another constant presence in his life, and began cleaning up his mess.

Once he bandaged his latest self-inflicted wounds, he grabbed a book. He knew there would be no more sleep tonight.

Would he ever be free from his past sins?


	11. Chapter 10 Flirting?

AN: It's December 23, the morning after the concert.

**Chapter 10 ~ Flirting?**

Allen stepped into the hallway and shut his bedroom door. He stretched and yawned, grumbling to himself about hating mornings because they came far too early. The sound of a door slamming caught his attention and he turned, finding himself face-to-face with an angry Tyki.

"Hey, boy. You know your uncle is a teasing bastard, right?"

"Cross is what he is. You get used to it." Allen shrugged and started to walk away.

"Wait! I want to know why he was all over me only to ditch me for some slut."

"Oh, that was just Anita. Cross and she aren't exactly a couple but they never miss an opportunity to screw."

"So by 'personal escort' he meant I was something to toy with until his fuck-buddy showed?"

"Something like that. Look, Tyki, Cross can be an arse. I'm sorry he led you on but I can't fix it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some caffeine before I perish."

"I'll join you. Mind if I smoke?"

"Go ahead. I'm used to Cross blowing smoke everywhere."

* * *

Tyki lit his cigarette and he and Allen walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Lavi, Lena, and Kanda were all in there. Although there was a large table with many chairs, Lena was sitting in Lavi's lap. Kanda sat across from them, completely engrossed in his sketchbook.

Allen froze when he saw Kanda. The light streaming in from the windows highlighted the bluish tint to the Japanese teen's hair. Last night it had been pulled up into a high ponytail but today it was in a low, loose one, pulled back from his face at the nape of his neck. Allen grinned when he noticed that because he wore his own hair in the same manner. His silvery-gray eyes then trailed to Kanda's long, elegant fingers as they flew across the page, drawing steadily. Allen sighed longingly, and Tyki nudged him.

"You're drooling, boy" he whispered so only Allen could hear.

"I most certainly am not!" Allen said a little too loudly.

Lena and Lavi looked up, both glancing curiously at Allen. Kanda kept on sketching. Tyki laughed and patted Allen on the shoulder.

"I'm getting a coffee and going back upstairs to check on Neah. He said something about working from his room today. I doubt you'll see much of him. When Cross shows, do me a favor and tell him that he owes me and I _fully_ intend to collect."

"I'm not surprised I won't see Neah. My father never has been one to acknowledge my existence. And aren't you mad at Cross?"

"I love a challenge. Cross will be begging for it when I'm done with him."

"Whatever you say, just spare me the details, okay?"

"Fine. And I'm sorry about Neah, the way he treats you."

With that, Tyki poured himself a mug of coffee and left. Allen found himself with the three teens and one brilliant idea. He fixed his coffee and turned to face the table.

"Good morning everyone!"

"Hiya, Al!"

"Hey, Allen!"

Lavi and Lena each greeted Allen with a smile but Kanda still kept working. Allen sat down beside the couple and watched him.

"What are you drawing?" he asked, hoping to break the ice.

Kanda ignored him and continued on. Lena spoke up to reassure Allen.

"Don't take it personally. He does that to everybody when he gets really into his work. And he never shares what he's drawing until he's finished with it."

"Oh, okay then. So, what do you guys have planned for today?"

"Me and Lena were actually hopin' to spend time with ya if you're free."

"Absolutely. I even have a suggestion for something we can do."

"Great! Yuu-chan too if he snaps outta his trance."

A loud slam rang out as Kanda closed his sketchbook and punched the table with his fist. Lavi and Lena jumped, causing Lena to slide off Lavi's lap. Allen reacted quicky and caught her before she hit the floor. Once she got her feet under her properly, she stood and Allen let her out of the awkward, impromptu embrace.

"Damnit, Baka Usagi! I had it! I was nearly fucking done and you had to irritate me. All I had left was his face. I – uh…" Kanda blushed and looked away from the other three.

"You what, Yuu? Who are you drawing?"

"Don't call me Yuu! I swear, the only thing saving your ass from a slow, painful death is that Lena loves you, not that I'll ever understand why."

"Kanda, you know he means well. I kinda want to know what you're working on too."

"It's not finished. You know you can't see it like that."

"Why don't you let your friends see your work before you complete it?"

"I never show anyone anything that isn't finished, Moyashi."

"Beansprout? What the bloody hell?"

"Che. So you know a little Japanese?"

"Yes, and apparently I know a rude Japanese as well, BaKanda."

"The fuck did you just call me?"

"Ba – Kan – da." Allen stared him down and smiled.

"Mo – ya – shi." Kanda maintained eye contact, his mouth twisting into a sly smirk.

* * *

Lavi and Lena grinned. The other two were so lost in each other's gaze that they were able to slip away from the table so they could talk without being overheard.

"Shit! Is Yuu…flirting?"

"Why the fuck are you calling me a beansprout?" Allen's yell kept Lena from responding.

"Well, you're short, and skinny, and pale with all that cute white fluff on top of your head…you look like a beansprout, Moyashi."

"How dare you?! I'm not short! You're too damn tall. I don't - Wait…'cute white fluff...'Are you calling me cute?"

"Che. Is the cute lil' Moyashi pissed at me?" Kanda's smirk grew and Allen flushed a bright red.

"Umm, yeah, Lavi, that's definitely what he's doing."

* * *

AN: At least the next chapter, possibly more, will be a continuation of the current day. This just felt like a natural stopping place.


	12. Chapter 11 You Can Do This

AN: Part two of December 22nd. Kanda and Allen argue and challenge each other. Lena threatens Kanda. Lavi gives Allen good advice.

**Chapter 11 ~ You Can Do This**

The loud slam of a door interrupted the sparks flying between "BaKanda" and "Moyashi." Cross staggered into the kitchen; his clothes rumpled, shirt buttoned incorrectly, sunglasses over his eyes, and a cigarette dangling loosely from his lips.

"Oi, Brat! Fetch me a coffee. I need to cut this hangover off before it kicks in."

"Still drunk, eh, you alcoholic slut?"

"Hmph, sadly not for long. I can feel the change setting in. Now fix my drink and flirt with your pretty boy later."

Kanda glared at Cross. Lavi and Lena cringed at the look, knowing that it promised a world of torment to its intended recipient. Cross merely snickered and patted him on the shoulder.

"Cute, kid. Give yourself a decade or two of living in the real world and you might actually be threatening."

The next thing Cross knew he was on the floor, blinking up at Kanda and holding a hand to his bleeding lip. Kanda stood perfectly still. He had moved so quickly that nobody actually saw the punch he landed on Cross.

"Don't you fucking dare pretend like you know anything about how I've lived. I've survived more Hell than your _pathetic_, alcohol riddled mind can ever comprehend."

"You insolent little fool. How dare you behave this way in _my_ house!"

"Che, I was under the impression this is _the Moyashi's_ house."

"Technically it _is_ my house, and the name is Allen, BaKanda. I tolerate Cross as he's _supposed_ to be my guardian. It's more like I'm raising him, though."

Allen sighed and handed Cross a bag of ice wrapped in a towel.

"I can't drink this! Where's my coffee?"

"It's for your face. You want coffee, get it yourself you lazy arse hat."

Cross opened his mouth as if to reply but thought better of it when he cast a glance in Kanda's direction and saw the glare directed his way. He held the ice to his face as he climbed up from the floor. He made his own coffee and began to leave.

"By the way, Cross, Tyki left a message for you. You 'owe' him and he 'fully intends to collect.' You may want to clean yourself up a bit and try to apologize to him for last night. He strikes me as the type you'd regret screwing over."

"Fun…I'll be going then. Nice hit, by the way, pretty boy. And Allen, don't do anything _I_ wouldn't do. You guys enjoy yourselves." Cross smirked and walked off to go clean up before trying to talk to Tyki.

* * *

Allen sighed and turned to face the other three.

"So, my idea was that we all hang out and watch movies. I've got a home theatre system and all types of movies. I know it's not creative but it allows us to sit around here and get to know one another better."

"We're in!" Lavi and Lena answered at the same time.

"Che, why not?"

"Excellent! I'll lead the way."

Allen smiled and gently placed his hand on Kanda's arm. The older teen looked nervous but did not back away. He allowed Allen to guide him down a hallway, Lavi and Lena following behind them.

They entered a fairly spacious room. A large screen faced a couple of loveseats covered with very soft cushions. Speakers were mounted on the walls. A computer and a projector sat on a desk at the back of the room. Allen led the others to the desk and brought a list up.

"So we have romance, comedy, animated, action, horror…pick a genre and we can go through the movies available."

Lavi and Lena wanted something that would give Allen and Kanda a chance to get close. They knew Kanda never showed fear during horror movies but Allen's reaction was unknown. They also knew Kanda would complain about romance, comedy, or animation, which only left action or horror. Nodding to each other, Lena opened her mouth to answer.

"Horror. I bet you're a chicken, Moyashi."

Lena looked at Kanda and smiled with pride. He kept making this easier for her and Lavi.

"As if a movie could frighten me, BaKanda. I too have endured more Hell than most people realize."

"Really? What happened to you? Run out of coffee on a Monday morning?"

Allen said nothing, but the anger and pain that flashed in his eyes made Kanda wish he had not taken his teasing quite so far.

"Che. Just pick the 'scariest' movie you have and we'll see which one of us gets frightened first."

"And what does the loser have to do?"

"Oh, are we turning this into a real competition?"

"And why not? Is it because you know you're going to lose?"

"In your dreams, sprout. You'll be cowering against me, begging for protection before you even realize it."

"'Cowering' and 'begging,' hmm? You're a confident one, aren't you? In that case, how about the loser has to do _whatever_ the winner wants for the rest of your visit?"

"Um, guys? Isn't that maybe just a _teeny bit_ over-the-top? How about for the rest of the day instead?" Lavi felt like he had to intervene. Allen and Kanda were taking this challenge too far.

"Too easy. How about for all day tomorrow?" Lena suggested.

"No way. Moyashi thinks he can beat me and he's offered to do whatever I want him to for the rest of our time here if he loses. You know _I never lose_. I say we stick with his original suggestion."

"I agree, but it's because_ I never lose_. Prepare to be my little bitch, Ba – Kan – Da."

"Oh, hell – we should record this, Lena."

"Shh, at least they're getting together on their own this way." Lena whispered in his ear.

"Okay, in order to make this challenge completely fair, I request that Lavi and Lena select the movie. That way you cannot accuse me of cheating when I win."

"Fine. They won't go easy on either of us. They know I always want a fair fight."

"Yay! What's the most horrific thing you have, Al? Let's find out, Lena."

Lavi and Lena browsed through the list of horror films on Allen's computer. They argued over a few before they settled on one.

While Lavi and Lena chose a movie, Allen and Kanda taunted each other.

"I bet you're afraid of the dark, Mo – ya – shi."

"And you probably need your daddy to tuck you in every night after he checks for the closet monster, Ba - Kan - Da."

"I never had a 'daddy.' Tiedoll tried tucking me in _once_, but I threatened to kill him."

"I'm not sure if you're joking about that part or not, but I still know you're going to lose." Allen sat on one of the loveseats.

"No! _You_ will lose." Kanda scowled as he stood in front of Allen.

"Well sit down, Mr. Confidence. You gotta be close to me so you can cling to me when you get terrified." Allen patted the seat beside him.

"Che. I'm gonna take a piss. Don't worry. I'll be back so you can hide behind me when things get too scary for you to deal with."

Kanda shot a look at Lena and she immediately recognized it. She excused herself to get some sodas for everybody and followed Kanda out of the room.

* * *

"Fuck! What was I thinking? I can't do this! What the hell am I thinking? He's freaking hypnotizing me or some shit! I can't back outta this now. Why didn't you stop me, Lena? If I lose, he's gonna _make_ me his…um, well, I think you can imagine what he'll want from me. I can't get involved with the Moyashi. I can't do it! I've gotta stay single! I'm not good enough to date him. I'm not ready. I'm not – shit! I just can't handle this! Tell them I fell suddenly, horribly, violently ill. Tell them Tiedoll needed me. Break the projector somehow. Whatever the fuck you can do, just do something."

A sharp slap resounded in the room. Kanda's eyes grew wide in shock as he raised a hand to touch the reddening mark on his cheek.

"Kanda Yuu, man the fuck up! I am _sick and tired_ of this moping around 'stay single' 'not good enough' 'never dating again' bull shit! This is not who you are. You're a talented, intelligent, gorgeous, confident, arrogant, pushy, proud sonovabitch and I love you for it. I want my Yuu-brother back! And it's not just me – 'Mui and Reever, Lavi, Tiedoll and Alice – we all want you to come back to us. The old Kanda Yuu would be all over that hot little opportunity presenting himself."

"No I wouldn't. I'd have to tease him a little bit, make him work for it. He's just so sure of himself. It's like he thinks he's got me wrapped around his finger."

"So do it! Go in there and show him."

"But I can't! Don't you think I want to go back to the way things used to be? That I wish I still acted like I did back then? But I'm not that person anymore…I can't be that person. You know what that did to me. What I was going through when I had such confidence. It was fake, a total lie."

"No, Kanda. I don't mean then, and you know it! That wasn't confidence. I meant after you left Alma but before that disaster took place. You stood up for yourself and weren't afraid of what others thought. That's the Kanda that I want back, the one you need back."

"It's not that simple, Lena. I can't change the past. The 'disaster' happened, and it changed me. I'm ruined. I can't be that Kanda again. I can't let myself fall for another guy like I did then, leaving Alma and then letting him back into my life. How can I trust someone after that?"

"Allen is _not_ Alma! It's not fair to him to not even give him a chance. Yes, you made a mistake when you went back to Alma, but we all make mistakes. You've tortured yourself enough over it, Kanda. It's time to set yourself free. Give into your feelings and see what happens. Allen is a sweetheart. I know we just met him but I can feel it when I look into his eyes. He's honest and caring, and he's hurting too…I know it can't be the same pain as yours but it is pain. Please, Kanda, I can't explain it any better than this but try, if not for yourself, do it for me. It's not gonna be like Alma. I swear it! If I'm wrong, blame me – take it out on me!"

"Lenalee Lee! I could never do that to you. You've been there for me since we were little, even sticking with me through the worst of my bull shit. I've drug you through Hell and you never gave up on me."

"Then you just made my case for me."

"How so?"

"You said it yourself – I've never given up on you. I believe in you and right now I believe that you can do this. You can go in there and enjoy your time with Allen and see where it leads. You don't believe it, but you deserve to be loved. I'm not going to just sit by and watch you pass up what could be the most amazing guy you'll ever know. Now go in there and fucking flirt with that adorable 'Moyashi.' I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't listen this time!"

"I can't promise anything. You're demanding that I reprogram the way I've been living for the past six months."

"So you don't have to make a move on him, but you _can_ respond to what he does. Don't push him away. You overanalyze everything. Don't think; just feel."

"Che."

"Do it, or I'll have Lavi 'help' you out with Allen."

"Shit, okay. Just give me a few minutes to calm down. I'll be right there. Now go get the sodas you said you were going to get."

"Okay, and Kanda?"

"Hnn?"

"Thank you."

* * *

"Um, Lavi, do you think Kanda is okay? He's been gone quite a while."

"Oh, no worries. Yuu gets sidetracked sometimes but he'll be back. He can't resist a challenge. Lena prob'ly roped him into helpin' her."

"If you say so."

"You really like him, dontcha?"

"Well, I know we barely met but there's just something about him. He's like a force of nature. I can't explain it. I'm drawn to him, completely pulled towards him. I can't stop myself and I don't want to. But I get the feeling that he's afraid of me – no, not really me but something…of the chance of he and I getting together perhaps? Why would he fear that? He seems to be interested in me. Or am I misinterpreting things?"

"No, you're right. Amazingly, perfectly right. He's got issues. I can't explain them; it's not my place to tell. He does like you though. He wouldn't be acting like this if he didn't. Just be patient. Kanda will sort things out for himself. Act as you want to, not overly pushy, but you can be forward with flirting. It'd probably even encourage him a little. He'll come around when he's accepted it himself."

"I hope you're right."

"Of course I am. A Bookman always knows."

"What's a Bookman?"

"Oh, it's my family name…we're just awesome like that."

"Ah, I see…Well, I'm going to excuse myself for a few moments. I need to compose myself, digest the information that he truly is interested and that I actually do have a chance. Honestly, I need to talk myself into flirting with him more. This is new territory for me. I've always believed nobody would ever be genuinely interested in me."

"Why not?"

"I'm...different. Just some weird, scarred music geek. Nothing to hold anyone's fancy unless they happen to be attracted to the name _Walker_."

"Someone's cynical."

"Yeah, well, someone has reason to be. I'm sorry...that was harsh. I'm just touchy about family issues and the lack of care I've received from others in my past."

"Can't blame ya there. Your dad surprised me. Neah is always so nice back home."

"I'd rather not get into that right now. I need to focus on Kanda. I need to break through whatever barrier it is that he's trying to maintain and let him know how I feel. That I'm not going to hurt him like he was obviously hurt in the past. I've been hurt too and I want to help him heal, as I want him to help me heal."

"You really can sense things about him. You can do this, Al...If anyone can break through to him, it's you."


	13. Chapter 12 Psych

AN: Thank you all for your reviews and support. It means a lot.

This chapter shows Allen and Kanda both psyching themselves up for their little contest, and for their potential relationship.

** Chapter 12 ~ Psych**

He splashed cold water on his face and glanced in the mirror. As always, the view failed to impress him. Why would anybody want to flirt with him?

He ran his fingers through his hair before tying it back again. Or should he leave it down? Will either way make a difference?

"I wonder how long until he asks about the glove on my left hand? I'll make sure he's on my right side. Far from foolproof, but it's all I can do for now."

He sighed and put his glove back on. He knew he would have to be honest about it at some point, but he was just not ready yet.

"It's strange, but he's obviously okay with the scar on my face, so that's an encouraging start, but I doubt he expects a mutant arm and scarred torso to go along with it."

He stared at his reflection and tried to see what others saw in him. People have told him he is attractive, and he wished he could believe them.

"Hmm, they call my hair colour 'cool,' 'beautiful,' 'exotic,' and 'unique.' I suppose that's right. It's definitely unusual at least."

He untied his hair again and let it fall down into its natural place. He decided it would be helpful when flirting. Supposedly peeking through his hair could be considered "sexy."

"My eyes: they're described about like my hair is...I guess that's true too."

He looked closely at his eyes and frowned.

"They are a rather nice colour, but that damnable scar will always bother me."

He smiled at his reflection and nodded slowly.

"People say I have an 'incredible' smile. So few of them realize how forced it is. I bet he'll notice that my smile never reaches my eyes. He's perceptive, with the eyes of an artist, and he seems fairly intelligent. I wonder...could he be the one to make my smile real again?"

He stretched and grinned as he left the bathroom.

"There's only one way to find out."

* * *

He clutched the sink and took several deep breaths.

He hated himself for feeling so anxious.

"He's not Alma. He's Allen. Alma's gone. It's Allen that's here now. They're two completely different people."

He looked up and saw that he was paler than normal and it pissed him off.

"Like hell I should let that bastard make me look like shit. He's gone...I can't let the fucking past rule my life anymore."

He washed his face and dried it. He took his hair down and brushed it, but pulled it back into a low ponytail again.

"That's better. Hope the color stays on my face. Don't want people freaking out on me thinking I'm sick. That'd be so fucking annoying."

He looked at his shirt: a black silk button-up. He unbuttoned a couple of buttons at the top, opening the collar more until the edge of his collarbone peeked out.

"My 'sister' says that's a turn-on so I might as well test the theory. If she's wrong, I can always bitch at her later."

He stared at himself, checking for imperfections.

"Che, I hope unbuttoning this far is okay. I can't see the scar on my chest now but it might show some if I move wrong."

He turned a little at a time, watching his reflection to ensure his scar remained hidden.

"Why am I so worried about it anyway? The Moyashi has a scar on his face so it's not like he should care if I have a few scars."

He smoothed the long sleeves of his shirt and patted down his left arm.

"I hope he sits on my right side. People still can't touch my left arm and that hitting people as a reflex thing certainly won't help us get together."

He faced the mirror and stared deep into the reflection of his eyes.

"No more being a chicken-shit, whiny bitch. They want the old Kanda Yuu back, and they'll get him. Poor Moyashi thinks he can beat me! He has no idea what he's in for..."

He left the bathroom with his old smirk in place.


	14. Chapter 13 And the Winner is

AN: The film watched is _ Silent Hill_ (2006) and it and its characters are the property of its writers, directors, producers, etc., and I make no claims on it. I just chose it because I knew it had scenes that could be rough for both Allen and Kanda considering their pasts.

**Chapter 13 ~ And the Winner is…**

Kanda walked back into the movie room and immediately noticed that Allen was missing. He sat down on the left side of one of the loveseats. He wondered where the younger teen went, but he was relieved that seating would not be an issue. All he needed was for Allen to touch him wrong and end up getting hurt.

"Oi, Usagi, where's the Moyashi?"

"Hell of a long 'piss' you took, Yuu-chan. So I take it Lena gave you good advice?"

"Baka…why the fuck do you still call me that?"

"Because I know you love me anyway. And it's hilarious to hear you bitch about it."

"Che. So where is he?"

"Aww…you really like him. That's good 'cuz I told him you do."

"What?! I'm actually gonna kill you this time."

Kanda jumped up and headed straight for Lavi. Lena came in with the drinks and stepped between them before anyone could get hurt.

"Save me, Lena!"

"He told the Moyashi I like him! He has to die now."

"But you do. I'm just helping ya out."

"You weren't supposed to tell him that."

"Both of you shut up! Kanda, it's okay. It's not like Allen isn't interested in you, too."

"He still didn't have to tell him I like him."

"True, but at least there's no harm done."

"Yeah, and I only said it to encourage him so it really was to help. The lil' guy thought nobody would ever like him."

"Really? Why not?" Kanda was genuinely surprised to hear that. How could people_ not_ like Allen?

"He didn't give details, but he's obviously used to people only caring about what family he's from."

"Why should it matter what family he's from? I don't give a fuck. It's not like he has control over who he's related to. Should people like me for being adopted by an artist? No, because that's bullshit."

"A lovely sentiment, but unfortunately most people don't see it that way. They hear 'Walker' and think 'I can use him to get attention for myself.' At least the few guys who've asked me out in the past have done that."

* * *

As Allen walked into the room, Kanda quickly sat down again. He wanted to make sure he got the seat he needed. Allen saw this and sighed. He needed to sit there.

"Hey Kanda, can I sit where you're sitting? I don't like people sitting to the left of me. I get nervous."

"Nope. Sorry, Moyashi. You don't need to sit on my left side. Trust me when I say it'll be bad for your health."

"Bakanda! Please trade. How could sitting to your left be bad for my health? That makes no sense."

"Um, actually, Al, trust him on this. He gets violent when people touch his left arm. It's just a weird reflex he has."

"But I always sit on that side too."

"You could always sit in his lap. Ouch! Lena, what'd I do?"

"Ignore him. He means well, but he doesn't always think about what he's saying. Do you think you'll be okay sitting next to Kanda if he's on your left side?"

"Umm...I'm not too sure."

"If it's about your scar, don't worry. I'm not afraid of it or grossed out or whatever you're worried I might feel. I'm not gonna ask about it or stare. I just don't wanna _accidentally_ hit you."

"That's nice of you. I suppose I can try sitting to your right."

"Good. That way, if I hit you, you'll know it's _on purpose_."

"Kanda Yuu! Don't say things like that to him!"

"Che. Whatever 'mom.' Can we just watch the movie now? I'm ready to see Moyashi lose."

"In your dreams, Bakanda!"

* * *

Allen cautiously sat down beside Kanda. He hated exposing his left side to anyone who was sitting that close to him. He grabbed a cushion and began playing with the fringe trim on it, twisting and untwisting the strands again and again.

Kanda watched Allen nervously playing with the cushion. It annoyed him so much that he soon snatched it away.

"Hey! Give that back!"

"You're annoying me with it. Quit being so damned nervous. I'm not gonna bite you...unless you want me to."

"Hmm, not right now, but that might be on my list of demands when I win our little competition."

"You're not gonna win."

"We'll see. Lavi, you ready to start the movie?"

"'kay. I just click the one I want, yeah?"

"That's right."

Allen decided to ignore his worries about his left side. Kanda truly seemed not to mind his scar. Allen hoped that he would not ask about his glove either. He got the feeling that if anyone would not question things like that, it would be Kanda. The Japanese teen appeared to be the rare type who leaves people alone when they do not want to talk about certain things. It made Allen feel better and he finally relaxed in his seat.

Kanda let out a breath he had not realized he was holding. Up until he saw Allen relax, he feared that the British youth would ask to trade seats again. He did not want the sprout to be uncomfortable, but he certainly wanted him to be safe. He was also relieved when his "reflex" was not questioned. Apparently, Allen was like him when it came to not asking people too many personal questions.

* * *

Lavi started the movie and sat down beside Lena. He put his arm across her shoulders and pulled her close to him.

"My money's on Al." He whispered in her ear.

"I'll take that bet. I've never seen Kanda freak over a movie."

Lavi chose _Silent Hill._ He remembered watching it with Lena and Kanda before and was pretty sure parts of it bothered Kanda.

"You sure about that? He tries not to show much, but you know Yuu does have his hang-ups."

"Yeah, he does, but I can't picture him losing a bet. He's way too stubborn to - Lavi, is this the movie I think it is? Kanda might kill you for this one."

"Yup. I chose it just for him. He won't really kill me, maybe beat me up some but not for real murder."

"And you're okay with him beating you? Because you'll deserve it, just saying..."

"It's worth it. I had to give Al a fighting chance. You know fire sets Yuu off, and there's definitely fire in this movie."

"You're evil. Like, really, seriously _evil_...That's using a traumatic experience against him."

"All's fair in love and war."

Lena smacked him with a cushion, hard.

"You're _so_ getting cut off for a while."

"How long?" Lavi pouted but Lena appeared to be immune.

"Depends on how upset Kanda gets. You better pray Allen can comfort him."

Lavi shuddered at the threat. He really did not think his plan through very well, but it was too late to change it now. He hoped Kanda would not get too upset, and even found himself hoping Kanda would win the bet.

Kanda cringed when he saw Lavi's choice of movie. He made a mental note to strangle the Usagi in his sleep later. For now, he forced himself to take slow, steady breaths and act like everything was perfectly fine. Watching someone burn to death, even if it was only a movie, made him think of what happened back in Japan.

Allen silently cursed his bad luck. Of all the movies, Lavi picked one that never failed to scare him. He only had this movie because he liked playing the games. The games sometimes frightened him too, but he always played them when Lucy was around to joke with him and keep him from thinking about his own past too much. There were far too many knives involved in the film and it made him remember things he wished he could forget.

Lavi no longer had his arm around Lena because she shoved him off of her when the movie began. He hated that she got angry about it but he understood why she did. Knowing that there was _zero chance_ of making out with Lena now, he decided to watch Allen and Kanda closely so he would know who won their bet. He carefully observed every movement each boy made and knew that Kanda would end up putting his arm around Allen soon.

Kanda found himself paying more attention to Allen than to the movie. The young musician was truly beautiful and captivating. Kanda noticed that Allen moved constantly: crossing and uncrossing his arms and legs, playing with his hair, straightening his clothes. The never-ending fidgeting grew to be more than he could handle. Without even thinking about it, he placed his arm around the smaller, younger teen and pulled him close.

Allen tensed up when Kanda placed his arm across his shoulders and drew him close enough that they were pressed together. He really wanted to be in Kanda's arms but the move was so sudden that it startled him.

Kanda shifted slightly, bringing his mouth near Allen's ear.

"Relax, Moyashi. You're so nervous that I can't watch the movie."

Allen suppressed a moan. Kanda had softly whispered the words in his ear and it made him want to kiss the elder teen. He resisted the urge because he thought it was too soon and he really needed to focus on the film. He wanted to win and have Kanda at his beck-and-call for the remainder of their visit. However, the more he thought about it, the more he realized he would most likely enjoy losing just as much, if not more. He relaxed against Kanda's side and thought about how good and _right_ it felt to sit there.

Lavi smiled to himself when Kanda did exactly what he expected him to do. Sometimes he thought he knew Kanda better than Kanda knew himself. The stubborn Japanese teen never stood a chance against Allen. He lost his resolve to stay single the instant he saw the white-haired beauty, and Lavi realized it immediately even though Kanda did not. It thrilled Lavi to see his friend with a genuinely nice guy. After the hell that was his relationship with Alma, Kanda needed someone like Allen in his life. Lavi knew this display of affection did not guarantee that the two boys would become a couple, but it was definitely a good sign.

Lena watched Lavi as he stared at Allen and Kanda. Heaven help her, she loved the idiot, even though he made a very poor decision when he selected _Silent Hill._ It was not what she had agreed on when they looked through the movies together and it angered her that he switched without asking her. She meant it when she said she was going to cut Lavi off for a while, but the length of time was not really dependent on how much the film upset Kanda. She wanted to make sure Lavi regretted what he did, but she did not wish to punish herself in the process. She knew she could not stand to avoid touching him for long. Besides, it looked like his evil choice was actually helping bring Allen and Kanda together. The two boys were certainly cozy looking as Allen sat snuggled up against Kanda's side.

Allen and Kanda were both quite happy to be sitting like they were. Though each of them was afraid of certain scenes that were to come, their closeness provided some reassurance and comfort.

Kanda felt at peace with Allen cuddled against him. The boy brought out a strong protective urge and he loved it. With Alma, Kanda played the more submissive role but it never really felt right. With Allen, he felt free to play a more dominant role and it came to him naturally.

Allen was comforted by Kanda's touch. Nobody else had ever made him feel so safe and warm. He hated to admit it to himself, but he wanted someone else to be the strong one sometimes. He put up a tough front, but he secretly desired a relationship where he would be taken care of.

As the film continued, it came to the scene where Rose saw Colin crawling toward her. She fled, only to meet Red Pyramid. The giant man wielding a massive knife scared Allen. Even though the teen had seen the movie before, he could not stop himself from being frightened when the monstrous figure appeared. His thoughts drifted to another man with a knife, looming over a younger version of himself and causing his much-hated scars. Not even realizing he did it, Allen buried his face in Kanda's chest and began to cry.

Kanda was shocked to find Allen crying into his chest. He had no idea why the scene triggered such a reaction in the younger, but he knew it must be related to something horrible that Allen had endured. He wrapped his arms around the boy and held him tight, rubbing gentle circles on his back. He continued the soothing motions until the sobbing subsided and Allen looked up at him with a tear-streaked face.

"You just lost, Moyashi." Kanda smirked at him but his tone was gentle and slightly teasing.

"I'm not so sure I can consider it a loss. I still get you, right? I'm fine with you being in charge as long as you hold me like this when I need it."

Allen's voice came out sounding tiny and somewhat broken and the raw emotion in it made Kanda's heart ache. He hugged Allen as close to him as possible and sighed as he let himself completely give into his strong desire to give Allen a chance.

"Yes, _my_ Moyashi, you still get me. I'll even go easy on you to begin with. For now, all you have to do is sit here and let me hold you."

Allen looked into Kanda's deep blue eyes and saw that the older teen was serious. He was thrilled to be with such an intriguing and caring man. He smiled at Kanda, and this time his smile finally reached his silvery gray eyes.


	15. Chapter 14 A Moyashi for a Prize

AN: I was asked about writing longer chapters. Sometimes my chapters are much longer than others. Some are very short. I've set no pattern or word count limitations on myself. Some things just take longer to tell while others take less. I don't really think about chapter length when I write; I just write as it comes to me.

Kanda enjoys his new prize, but he's worried about how fast things are progressing. There's angst, fluff, and making out.

**Chapter 14 ~ A Moyashi for a Prize**

The rest of _ Silent Hill_ passed by in a warm haze of comfort for Allen. He snuggled up to Kanda the entire time, hiding his face in the older male's chest each time a blade flashed on the screen or Red Pyramid appeared. Kanda kept his arms wrapped around the smaller male, rubbing Allen's back when he hid from the screen.

Each scene that involved fire made Kanda nervous. He silently enjoyed his luck when Allen had been frightened before he had. He felt better knowing that he made the younger teen feel safe and secure. He tried as hard as possible to remain calm during the scenes that bothered him, but try as he may, Kanda found himself hugging Allen a little tighter every time flames danced on the screen.

Allen noticed Kanda's reaction to fire, but he decided it was best not to question it. After all, Kanda made no comments regarding Allen's own reactions to other scenes. Each time Kanda held him tighter he simply enjoyed the fact that the elder sought comfort in _him. _ It made him feel wanted, even needed, and it made him extremely happy. He enjoyed being able to soothe Kanda's fears, whatever they might be.

After the movie ended, Allen reluctantly got up, or tried to at any rate. Kanda kept his arms around him and held him in place.

"Just where do you think you're going, Moyashi? I didn't say you could move."

"But BaKanda, I need to walk around a little. I'm tired of sitting here and I'm hungry too. I'll be right back." Allen looked up at Kanda and gave him his best pout.

"Don't forget I won our bet. You're _mine_ now and I don't want to let go of you." Allen's pout was ridiculously hard to resist but Kanda hated giving in so easily.

"So come with me. I was just going to grab a snack from the kitchen."

"You didn't eat earlier?"

"No, I didn't get the chance. When did you eat?"

"Before you came downstairs. I thought you ate when you came down."

"I was going to but you distracted me and then Cross came in and then we came in here."

"How did I distract you?"

"You were sitting there ignoring everybody and drawing in that book you won't show anyone. You looked _so good_ and I really wanted to find out what you were drawing. Consider yourself highly honoured; I never skip a meal."

"I looked 'so good' hnn? And why do you say that?" Kanda smirked at Allen.

"Are you serious or just teasing me?"

"Oh, if I'm teasing you'll definitely know it."

Kanda whispered the words in Allen's ear and then very lightly nibbled the lobe. The nibble lasted no time at all but it left Allen longing for more.

"Now you're definitely teasing me." Allen's voice came out slightly breathy and he wanted to slap himself for letting Kanda see how easily he affected him.

Kanda smirked in triumph. He discovered one of the Moyashi's weaknesses so quickly and easily. His mind wandered to a wickedly delightful image: Allen undressed, his skin flushed as he panted, writhing in ecstasy as Kanda thoroughly explored his body in order to find all of the boy's weak points. Kanda's imagination ran wild and he felt himself becoming aroused. He slowly released his hold on Allen.

"Go ahead and get yourself some food. I can't have you fainting on me."

"Thanks. Anyone want anything?"

They all replied that they were fine. Allen stood and stretched, looking at Kanda through strands of white hair that had fallen over his face. He smiled when he saw the older teen's reaction; Kanda swallowed and shifted in his seat. He was obviously turned on at the moment. It pleased Allen to know that he could affect Kanda in such a manner.

* * *

When Allen slipped out of the room, Lavi immediately threw himself down on the seat beside Kanda.

"Damn, Yuu. That's one adorable little treat you caught for yourself. I bet you'll be dragging him off to one of the bedrooms before the end of the day."

Kanda glared at him. He_ owed _Lavi a massive amount of pain for his stunt with the movie. He badly wanted to beat some sense into the Baka but knew it would be impossible.

"I hate you."

"Oh come on, bro. You know I'm just playin' around. I think it's cute to watch you be the 'man' in the relationship. You never looked right as a sub. I mean - urgh...uhh..." Lavi words were cut off when Kanda attempted to strangle him.

"Damnit Lavi! I told you not to piss him off. Kanda, let him go...I may be mad at him right now but I still don't want you to kill him."

Kanda ignored Lena and continued choking Lavi. He kept just enough pressure on the red-head's throat to keep him quiet but not enough to truly harm him. He found himself suddenly releasing Lavi when Lena kicked him in the shin.

"But Lena, you know he deserves it. I wasn't causing _permanent_ damage. He needs to learn to watch his damned mouth."

"And Kanda needs to learn to watch his damned temper. I know I say some insane shit at times but that reaction was too fucking violent. I'm outta here. Come find me when you cool off, you temperamental bastard." Lavi stalked out the room.

* * *

Lena and Kanda stared at the doorway.

"Well shit." Kanda grumbled. "How was I supposed to know something would ever really upset him?"

"You were strangling him. I can see where he'd be offended. You need to go talk to him. I'll stay here and if Allen's back before you I'll let him know you'll be right back."

"Thanks. Any idea what I should say?"

"Start with 'I'm sorry I choked you' and then you might wanna explain what thoughts ran through your head to make you do that. I'm sure he'll forgive you."

"Che. Maybe."

* * *

Kanda left the room in search of Lavi. He saw Tyki sitting with a huddled figure on a sofa. As he drew closer he recognized the bright red hair. He looked at Tyki who nodded and stood up.

"I've got to go now. I told Cross I'd be right back. You two need to talk privately anyway."

"Good luck. You really scared him this time." Tyki whispered as he passed by Kanda.

Kanda sighed and sat down beside Lavi. He reached out to touch his arm but froze when Lavi flinched.

"What do you want,_ Kanda?_"

Kanda cringed when he heard his preferred name come from Lavi's lips. Even though he hated being called "Yuu" he knew the Baka only called him "Kanda" when he was genuinely upset with him.

"I'm...I...You were just...I couldn't...Oh fuck! Look, I'm sorry, okay? Really, truly sorry. And you know I mean it 'cause I _ never_ fucking apologize."

"You know I was just wantin' to help you and Allen along. That's why I picked a movie I knew would bother you. I thought it'd be easier if he won 'cause I never expected you to act on your feelings without a pretty big push. I didn't think he'd lose but I'm glad it still worked out. I'm proud of ya for going for it. I just want to see you happy with someone again. You've been so cold and lonely after Alma and Allen is just so right for you. And teasing ya just now, I didn't mean any harm. You know I'm just like that."

"You really are a dumb ass, you know? Always making everything into a big joke even if it's serious. I really like Allen but it's hard for me to deal with. I swore I'd never date again, but I want to be with him. And yes, he is hot as Hell and very tempting but I refuse to rush things physically. I went too fast with Alma and you know how that turned out."

"I had no idea you were that worked up about it. You know Allen is nothing like Alma. You don't have to be afraid of being with him. Go slow if you want to and if you can stand it but that really doesn't seem to be working very well for ya. You won't end up with regrets if you sleep with him early on."

"What makes you so sure?"

"He wants this as much as you do, maybe even more."

"How do you know?"

"Lookin' at him. His expression when he looks at you. I can't really describe it, but I know he wants you. He really, _really_ wants you."

"So since you're reassuring me now, does that mean I'm forgiven?"

"Yeah, but ya really need to work on your anger issues. You could've talked to me like this to begin with instead of choking me."

"Che, I don't know about that..."

"Heh, that sounds more like you. Now let's get back in there. You have Allen waiting for you and you know I'm in deep shit with Lena so I gotta be an extra good boy."

* * *

The two friends returned and found a mystified Lena watching Allen stuff his face with massive amounts of food. He was starting on his third bag of mini-sized donuts and showed no signs of stopping.

"Dude! Where do you put all that? You're tiny."

Allen glared at Lavi but kept eating. He said nothing until he finished the bag.

"I happen to possess an astonishingly fast metabolism. I get sick if I _don't_ eat a ton."

"Awesome! I wish I could do that."

"No you really don't. It's a pain to be hungry so often and I always get the oddest looks anytime I have to dine out. I have to make a huge order and then when I eat all of it people find me repulsive."

"Moyashi, are you full for now?" Kanda made sure to speak softly and not sound like he was judging Allen's food intake.

"I should be fine for a few hours. Why?"

"Wanna watch something else? It doesn't have to be horror."

"Are you implying I could not handle another horror movie?" Allen grinned up at Kanda.

"Hnn, after the way you 'handled' the last one, maybe we _should_ watch another." Kanda smirked at Allen.

* * *

"Hey Lavi, think they'll make another bet?"

Lavi hugged Lena and she let him, hugging him back. Their simple actions communicated his apology to her and her forgiving him. He held her tightly and smiled.

"I hope they do. They're so entertaining."

"I bet you'll crack first again, Mo - ya - shi."

"Like I would _let you win _a second time, Ba - kan - da."

"You think I'd really believe you let me win the first time?"

"I enjoy being your prize, don't I?"

"Do you? I haven't even made you do anything yet. Should I start giving orders now?"

"Please do. I'm ever so curious as to what you _desire_ of me, _ My Master."_

* * *

"I think Al's gonna make Yuu's brain explode. He's havin' to concentrate awful hard to keep from jumping him. Look at his eye twitch!"

"You're enjoying this too much."

"Like you aren't?"

"So what if I am? They're falling so hard for each other. Kanda's self-control is fading fast."

"I know. Isn't it great?"

"Yeah, it really is. I'm so happy for them. They're a real-life example of love-at-first-sight."

"They are, aren't they? I never would've guessed Yuu would fall for someone so fast."

* * *

Kanda battled with himself. His hormonal teenage thoughts screamed for him to make his prize do all kinds of naughty, _fun_ things, but his rational, reserved side knew he needed to take things slowly. He compromised with his warring thoughts, deciding on a plan that would give Allen the chance to initiate anything sexual.

"I want you to stay by my side at all times unless I give you permission to leave. You may touch me as you wish, but you cannot touch any other person. You may speak freely but if you are forward with another I get to punish you. Eat, drink, and rest as needed, provided you inform me and I will accompany you. Do you understand, _ My Pet?"_

"Perfectly." Allen walked over to Kanda and hugged him. He buried his face in the older teen's chest and sighed contentedly when Kanda's strong arms enveloped him, holding him in the only place where he felt safe.

Kanda released his firm hold on Allen and turned to the side. He kept one arm loosely around the boy's waist and led him to their previous seat. He sat down and Allen followed suit. Once seated, Allen slipped his arm around Kanda's waist and Kanda placed his arm around Allen's shoulders. The younger teen snuggled up to the elder, their bodies lining up perfectly against each other.

"It's like we're built to fit together." Allen mumbled to himself but Kanda overheard him.

"Hnn, Moyashi? You say 'we're built to fit together' but how can you be so sure?"

"Well aren't you comfortable like this? And look at how I fit against you, all curled up so that I'm molded to your side. Doesn't it seem strange that our bodies are so perfectly aligned?"

Allen sounded so innocent when he questioned Kanda. Nobody knew if he meant it to be that way or if he was toying with him.

Kanda's eye twitched again as he forced himself not to snatch Allen up and carry him to bed to further test his alignment theory.

Lavi burst into laughter. The scene before him was simply more than he could stand.

"Shut it, Usagi!"

"But Yuu-chan, you should see your face...this is so fun!"

"What do you mean? I think I'm missing something."

Both older boys turned to look at Allen. He still sat right beside Kanda and his face held a puzzled expression.

"Allen," Lena said gently, "Don't mind them. They're being perverted. You really don't want to know."

"Oh _really_? In that case, maybe I _do _want to know. I'm a guy too even if I am sort of 'girly' at times."

"Wow! Al, you must be very secure to admit you're 'girly' sometimes."

Allen laughed.

"Why deny it? I like horror and action films but I also like romantic comedies, dramas, and musicals. I can sit and chat with Cross and then turn around and gossip with Lucy. I'm like a fine-cut gemstone: brilliant and multi-faceted."

"And not vain at all..." Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Not really. It's all an act. You have no idea of the depths my insecurities reach. I mean, I do like all of the things I said, but I certainly don't think I'm comparable to a precious stone."

"Dude, you _scream_ 'uke.' You're awesome!"

"Lavi..." Lena gave him a warning glare.

"Pardon? I'm a uke, eh? To be honest, I've no real experience but it seems likely given my mannerisms and stature, doesn't it?"

"Spoken like a true uke."

"So if I'm the uke, Kanda is the seme, correct?"

Kanda wished the loveseat would swallow him up so he could escape this torturous conversation. Allen was already proving hard to resist but now he was almost begging to be claimed in the most intimate way.

"YeahsoI'mgointothebathroomberightback." Kanda tore himself away from Allen and quickly walked towards the door.

"Shall I come along, Master Bakanda?"

"No, I'm, uh, good thanks. Sit still and I'll be right back."

* * *

"You guys are so _evil_! How could you torture our Kanda like that?"

"Aww, Lena baby, it's fun to wind him up. He's cute when he's all flustered."

"Hey, you can't call Bakanda cute! I've got a claim to him now. Plus you're straight and your girlfriend is right beside you."

"Touché."

"Seriously though, Lavi, I know you're picking on Kanda deliberately, but are you doing it intentionally, Allen?"

"Well...I really wasn't thinking anything particularly dirty when I _first_ said our bodies aligned so perfectly, but the whole thing escalated rather quickly. And yeah, I started out innocently enough, but I'm possibly, slightly teasing him a wee bit now...maybe?"

"Oh, you're good at this. You must teach me your ways, Wise One."

"I fear you are unable to become my pupil. You see, there can only be one to master the subtle art of Kanda Yuu, and as his pet, the noble task falls to me. My apologies, brave sir."

Lavi laughed even harder than before.

"I love you, man. In a totally platonic, brotherly kinda way of course."

"Naturally."

* * *

Kanda paced back and forth in front of the bathroom mirror.

"I will not have sex with the Moyashi yet. I will not have sex with the Moyashi yet. I WILL NOT have sex with him yet!"

He contemplated taking a cold shower but knew his friends would worry if he stayed gone for very long. He settled for splashing cold water on his face.

"Damn Moyashi is too irresistible. I really don't want to rush things with him but he's making it impossible. That Baka Usagi says we'll be okay but I don't know."

He took several deep, calming breaths before returning to the others.

He saw Allen's face light up when the boy noticed him. With that one look from his Moyashi, all Kanda's doubts melted away. He knew the young male's feelings for him were serious.

Kanda walked up to Allen and grabbed his hand, pulling him onto his feet and into a strong embrace. The startled youth blinked as he looked up at his elder and then gave him a heartwarming smile.

Kanda kissed Allen, a passionate, crushing kiss. He never kissed Alma like this. He never wanted to. He wanted Allen, needed him, had to feel the boy's lips on his.

It took Allen a minute to react. He had not expected the kiss and the action made him freeze.

As soon as the shock wore off, Allen started returning the kiss. When Kanda felt the younger teen's lips moving against his own he deepened the kiss. He licked the Moyashi's lower lip and was shocked when the boy's tongue flicked out to meet his. They battled for dominance, tongues tangling and sliding against each other until Kanda won. He slipped his tongue into Allen's luscious mouth and began to explore the hot cavern. Allen moaned into the kiss and dug his fingers into Kanda's back. The sensation made Kanda moan and Allen used it as an opportunity to slide his tongue into the elder's mouth. He slowly mapped out Kanda's mouth until the older teen regained control and forced their tongues back into Allen's mouth. This time the youth fully submitted and allowed Kanda to finish his exploration. When Kanda sucked Allen's tongue into his mouth so the boy got to reciprocate, the younger happy complied.

When the two finally parted for air they both breathed in heavy, gasping pants. They were met with enthusiastic applause from Lavi and Lena.

"Hell yeah, Yuu! Now_ that_ is how you claim your prize."

"You guys have _no idea_ how hot that was. Do it again!"

"Really Lena? You think I'm kissing my Moyashi just for your entertainment?"

"So who are you doing it for?" Allen looked up at him with a wicked little grin.

"Che."

Kanda sat down and pulled Allen into his lap. Allen laid his head on Kanda's collarbone and laced their fingers together.

"Mmm, you're a comfy seat."

Kanda kissed the crown of white hair and sighed.

"What do you want to watch now?"

"Really? I can choose? Even if it's a 'girly' movie?"

"If it's what you want, yes, but don't think I'll always do this. I'm just letting you have your way right now to celebrate our first kiss."

"_Sure_ Bakanda, if you want to tell yourself that go ahead."

"Watch it, Moyashi. I'm still the boss. I won the bet."

"Yes, Master." Allen giggled.

"Hnn?"

"Oh nothing. I know _you're_ in charge."

Lavi snorted.

"Yeah, about as much as I'm in charge when it comes to me and Lena."

"Oi, nobody asked you, Baka!"

"Nobody had to, Yuu-chan."

"Quit fucking calling me that."

"No can do."

"I'm gonna kill you."

"Uh-huh."

"Say Lena?"

"Yes Allen?"

"Shall we choose a ridiculously light and fluffy romance movie to shut these two up?"


	16. Chapter 15 Neah's Secret

AN: Neah's weird behavior around Allen is explained. Also, there's an argument over who's better at poker: Allen or Kanda. (That answer won't be revealed this time.)

Please read the note at the end of this chapter.

**Chapter 15 ~ Neah's Secret **

Sometime during the last movie the four teens watched, Allen fell asleep on Kanda's lap. His head rested on Kanda's shoulder and he clutched Kanda's shirt in one hand. Kanda's eyes stayed on Allen's resting form, mesmerized by the younger teen's beauty. He would have been content to remain like that all evening, but Cross stuck his head in the room.

"Oi brats! We're supposed to eat dinner now. Family bonding or whatever...And I see you've already worn my nephew out. Good job, pretty boy. Maybe you're not as much of a pansy as you look like."

"When Allen wakes up, he's going to move so I can kill you."

"He'll probably even help you _try._ Not that you'll succeed."

"Wanna bet?"

"What are we betting on?" Allen instantly woke up when he heard the word "bet." His eyes took on a predatory gleam.

"Che. So you like bets, Moyashi?"

"Possibly. Wanna play me in poker?" His smile grew wider and somewhat sinister.

"Sure, but first I have to murder this chain-smoking bastard for calling me a 'pansy' and 'pretty boy.' Oh, and dinner's ready."

"Food? Thank goodness. I'm starving!"

"Wonders never cease. So brat, you gonna let your pretty boy kill your favorite uncle?"

"Kanda, please don't. I've no good place to hide the body and besides, who would I have to argue with?"

"See, he's protecting me."

"Che."

"For now, but keep pushing and he might successfully persuade me to change my mind. You better be nice to me."

"And then you'd want to know who I was and what I'd done with Cross..."

"True. Well, I don't know about everybody else, but I am going to dinner now."

Allen slid from Kanda's lap and held his hand out to the older teen. Kanda looked at Cross, smirked, and brought Allen's hand to his mouth and gently kissed it. Cross just rolled his eyes, but Allen blushed. Kanda stood and the two boys held hands as they walked from the room. Lavi and Lena followed behind them, all the while whispering about how happy they were to see Kanda and Allen together.

* * *

Tiedoll, Alice, Tyki, and Neah sat in the dining room, waiting for the others to arrive.

Tiedoll wanted to ask Neah why he acted so coldly towards Allen, but he was unsure how to approach the subject. He had already questioned Tyki, but the man said he was not allowed to disclose anything because of lawyer-client confidentiality. Tiedoll decided he would invite Neah, Cross, and Tyki to join him and Alice for a drink after dinner. He hoped he would find the answers then.

Cross arrived with the teens following right behind him. They all took their seats and dinner was served. The atmosphere seemed slightly tense and the room was very quiet; only the sounds of clinking silverware were heard. Cross tired of it so he chose to tease his nephew and, more specifically, his nephew's new boyfriend.

"So my dearest nephew, what will you and your pretty boy do after this silent and awkward dinner?"

Kanda growled and it made Allen burst into giggles. Kanda wearily cast his eyes to his right, where Allen sat, and the expression on his face only made the boy laugh harder.

"Sorry love, but you _growled_. You actually growled. It's too funny."

"Che...I fail to see the humor in being insulted."

"But growling, really?"

"You should hear him when people at school piss him off. Yuu-chan either sounds like a rabid animal or swears enough to make sailors cry. Usually he does both."

"Shut it, Baka Usagi, or you will be drinking your meals through a straw..."

"Oh Yuu-chan, you wound me so deeply."

Lena giggled this time but spoke up once she calmed herself.

"Come on, Kanda. We all know you have a temper."

"What of it? People shouldn't be so offensive and then I wouldn't need to have such a temper. Damn fools..."

"Will you ever get all angry and temperamental with me?" Allen looked into Kanda's eyes with a very serious and anxious expression on his face.

"Why? You don't torment like they do. Don't worry about it, little sprout." Kanda's answer reassured Allen, but he could not resist arguing about his nickname.

"The name is _Allen_, BaKanda! A-L-L-E-N."

"_Moyashi_. M-O-Y-A-S-H-I." Kanda smirked at him.

"You just wait until after dinner. You'll think _Moyashi_ when I wipe the floor with your arse in poker."

"Uh-huh. I'm terrified."

"Joke if you want, but I'll have you know I've never lost a tournament."

Lavi and Lena both laughed.

"Did I say something funny?" Allen really did win all the time and their laughter confused him.

"Well, this is gonna be an interesting game because Kanda is an evil genius when it comes to poker. He _never_ loses either." Lena smiled proudly at Kanda.

Allen grinned evilly.

"Is that so? I guess we're in for an interesting time then, aren't we?"

Kanda smirked.

"May the best man win. And that's me, by the way, since you're a beansprout."

"I am no such thing."

"We'll see about that, _my_ Moyashi."

Allen pouted at the name, but it actually made him happy. He did not particularly like being referred to as a beansprout, but the fact that Kanda said he was _his _beansprout thrilled Allen.

Kanda tried to keep from grinning. Allen looked _so_ cute when he pouted like that. He told himself he needed to make his Moyashi pout like that more often.

* * *

Cross listened to the teens throughout their conversation and decided he would try to profit from their poker argument.

"Say Tyki?"

"Yeah?"

"Allen is a poker champ and apparently so is Kanda. Did you know he could play so well?"

"Hell, I know I won't ever play Kanda again. I tried _once._ Never again. I'm not familiar with Allen's playing though."

"Care to make a wager?"

"Depends on what it is."

"I say Allen will beat pretty boy when they play after dinner."

"I don't know about that. Kanda has made people cry."

"So if Allen wins, you take me out tomorrow, but if Kanda wins, not that it'll happen, I'll take you out."

"Agreed. I hope you can afford me. I have expensive tastes."

"As do I."

* * *

Tiedoll watched his son and Allen and the sight made him almost burst with joy. He knew Kanda needed time after all he went through with Alma, but his son seemed very lonely for the past few months.

"Kanda-kun, I'm glad to see you enjoying yourself. It's been a long time since I've seen you so happy."

"Che, don't embarrass me, old man."

"How is that embarrassing, son? I only wanted you to know I'm happy for you."

"Whatever. Ouch! Lena, stop that!"

Lena, sitting across from Kanda, had kicked him in the shin again, in the same spot she kicked earlier during the strangling incident.

"I'll stop if you'll be nice to Tiedoll."

Kanda frowned but turned to face his adoptive father.

"I suppose it's not _too_ embarrassing. Thank you for being happy for me, but please don't mention it anymore. That acceptable, Lena?"

"It's all good 'cept for you asking me if it was 'acceptable.' It kinda ruins the overall effect."

"It's okay, Lenalee. He's been my son since he was six. I'm used to his unconventional ways of showing he cares."

"Showing I care?! What's that got to do with anything we're talking about?"

"Calm down, BaKanda. He _is_ your father after all."

"Che, adopted father."

"Still your father..._trust me_, if he didn't care about you and he ignored you constantly, you'd feel differently." Allen gave Neah a very nasty yet somehow sad look.

Neah stiffened slightly but otherwise showed no reaction. Dinner continued with every one but Neah engaging in fairly pleasant conversation. Once they all finished eating, the teens excused themselves to go play poker.

Tyki and Cross started to accompany them in order to watch, but Neah stopped them when he finally spoke for the first time that evening.

"I'd like to speak with all of you. There's something we need to discuss and it's best done over drinks and while the younger ones aren't around."

"I'm glad you suggested it. I was about to do so myself." Tiedoll felt relieved that Neah wanted to talk. Maybe it meant he planned to explain his odd behavior.

* * *

Cross broke out the fine wine and some brandy and each adult chose their drink. Neah cleared his throat and nervously began to address his friends and family.

"I know you're all aware of what happened in Allen's early years, but I feel like I should explain why I still don't interact with him."

"You're damned right you should explain! Do you have any idea how often your neglect has made my nephew cry? Your rejection is really hurting him and I'd honestly love to kick your arse across the globe."

"Easy, _Marion_. I know I've upset the boy, but I have my reasons."

"I loathe that name and you know it, _Francis."_

_"_Just as you know I hate that name, my brother. Now may I continue?"

"Sure...at least whatever rot you come up with will most likely be amusing. You've always been excellent at excusing yourself."

"As have you. Now, before I begin, I must ask that you absolutely do not tell the children what I'm about to say."

"And why the hell not?" Cross glared at his brother and downed an entire glass of wine.

"Because it's something that will upset them. It will also explain why I refuse Allen's attempts at reconciliation."

"I highly doubt the latter."

"Cross, please just let him speak. I know what it's about and you all really need to hear this. I promise it's important and it will affect you." Tyki smiled warmly at Cross and the angered red-head slowly nodded in acceptance.

"So do you all agree to keep this between us?"

"But if it's very important and will affect us, shouldn't we tell our young ones?" Tiedoll asked.

"As I've said, it will upset them so I think it's best if we don't."

"I think we should trust him and hear him out. I can't picture Neah keeping something secret unless there is a very good reason. Froi, you know him well enough to realize that." Alice spoke up for the first time.

Tiedoll nodded, as did the others, and Neah revealed the truth.

"I don't know of a delicate way to put this, so I'm just going to be direct: I'm dying."

"Heh! Good one, _Frannie_...dying. Aren't we all?"

"Hopefully you won't be doing so as soon as I will. I'm serious, Cross Marian Walker. I _swear_ it on Mana's grave."

Cross went silent, and very pale, at Neah's words. He knew that Neah did not swear lightly, and it was especially meaningful because he swore on the grave of their beloved brother.

"May I speak, Neah?" Tyki asked.

"Go ahead."

"As Neah's attorney, I can promise that he speaks the truth. I only kept it to myself before because he asked me to and I couldn't break confidentiality like that. I've been to appointments with him. I've helped him work on the legal aspects of his situation. He really is dying."

"Oh Neah." Alice started crying.

"Why are you dying? What's causing it?" Tiedoll inquired as he placed a comforting hand on his fiance's shoulder.

"Malaria. I contracted the disease last year and was not diagnosed until moths later. I got better with initial treatment but have relapsed recently and this time I haven't responded to the medicines. My symptoms are rapidly growing worse. It's why I've been quickly excusing myself so often and why I'm almost constantly in my room. I've been hiding the seizures and breathing difficulties from all of you. Just before this trip, the doctor told me there was nothing more he could do. They've tried everything but nothing works anymore. I'm really not supposed to be here. I shouldn't travel at this stage, but- "

Neah stopped mid-sentence as he went into a seizure.

"Damnit, Neah! Not now! Not while Allen could see this!" Cross was actually frightened. The unfamiliar emotion bothered him greatly and he masked his fear with anger.

"All we can do is wait for him to come to. It takes longer each time. I should probably go get his oxygen. His breathing sounds bad. We won't be able to smoke around him, Cross."

"I'd rather walk to another room than cause an explosion. If I'm going to blow something up, I don't want that something to be me."

"How do you know he'll wake up?" Tiedoll asked with a solemn expression on his face.

"I don't, but I do what I can while I wait and see." With that said, Tyki left and soon returned with an oxygen cylinder and placed a canula on Neah.

"What if the brats come through here?"

"If they try we'll just have to distract them. You can do that, Cross. You're the best at arguing with them." Tyki replied.

Cross sighed and sat down with another glass of wine in hand.

"So this is what's been going on with him." Alice commented. "It explains why he stopped coming over to the family dinners recently."

"And why he dodges Allen. Knowing Neah, he doesn't want Allen to worry about him. If he spent the time with Allen that the boy wants him to, he wouldn't be able to hide his illness. Allen seems like he'd be a worrier. He's so loving and sweet and charming." Tiedoll smiled as he thought of his son being with such an amiable boy.

"That's part of it." Tyki said. "It's also that he thinks it's better if Allen stays angry with him like he used to be after Mana's death. He thinks if Allen is mad instead of getting along well with him that his death will hurt the boy less."

"That sounds like Neah-logic to me." Tiedoll commented and poured himself and Alice each a second glass of wine.

"You're all drinkin too slow...hurry yup...Imma finish it off if you don't." Cross slurred as he drank straight from the brandy bottle.

Tiedoll cringed when he saw the man knock back the alcohol as if it was water.

Tyki gazed at Cross and wondered about how drunk the man could get before he had issues functioning - 'Stop that line of thought, Tyki Mikk! Now is _not_ the time.' He mentally scolded himself and tried to focus on waiting for Neah to wake up.

* * *

The group's vigil lasted over an hour. Neah's eyes slowly fluttered open. He dazedly glanced up and was met with the sight of his younger brother yawning in his face.

"Oi _Frannie_! You spazzed and conked out forever ago. I've got drunk enough to go 'round to sober again. Well, sober-ish..."

"Of all the sights to greet me, it had to be you, _Mary_."

"Hey! Don't call me that! Marion is more than bad enough."

"Then don't call me 'Frannie' anymore."

"I'll go you one better; call me Cross and I'll call you Neah. We can pretend we're civilized."

"If you insist. Though I really think 'Mary' suits you quite well."

"Watch it, Frannie. Just 'cause you're dying doesn't mean I have to be nice."

"Are you two really going to carry on like this despite the gravity of the situation?" Tyki hid his amusement behind his businesslike tone.

"Oh come on...All we're doing is arguing a little. It's just teasing really. You know, like we're _brothers _or something."

"He does have a point, Cross. We need to discuss the matter at hand. We can toss insults at one another afterwards."

"Alright, if you insist, but what is there to discuss? You stopped responding to treatments so how can we do anything about it? I hate admitting it when I don't know the answer, but I have to say that I'm at a loss here."

"It's about Allen. I need all of you to promise to take care of him."

"I've kept him ever since we lost Mana. We argue a lot but it's all for fun."

"I know, but he's going to need much more support in the near future."

"How so? Because you'll die? The boy's seen so much death already that I think he'll manage even though he'll be upset for a while."

"No brother, that's not it at all. Allen is going to take my place as President of BOA and head of the Walker family."

"He's what?! Neah, you shouldn't joke about such things."

"He isn't." Tyki stated. "By right of birth, Allen is the next president and as the most direct descendent of Noah Walker, he'll also be the head of the entire family. This means he'll have a position of power over The Arc. It's a great responsibility for anyone, let alone a teenager."

"This is absurd! Shouldn't there be an interim president until he's at least eighteen?"

"No, Cross. There's no age limitations within the by-laws. It's going to be Allen and it's not a thing that can be refused."

"He'll hate this. He just wants to create his music, perform it, and spend time with his friends. He _despises_ routines. He's not meant for boardrooms and charity balls. I already have to bribe him to attend the few functions he's required to attend now." Cross scowled at Neah and Tyki.

"And that makes perfect sense for someone his age. Nobody expected me to die this early. Allen shouldn't have to take over while he's still so young, but it can't be helped."

"I still say there should be a loophole somewhere." Cross hoped there was a way for Allen to gain more time before being forced into his new role.

"We've thoroughly searched for one already. We even had assistance from Bookman, the head librarian at the academy, and that man is one hell of a researcher. There's no way around it. Allen is about to take over. I'm sorry about it and I'll stay on as his lawyer if he'll have me. I'll provide as much help as possible and try to keep his workload light."

"Trust him on this, Cross. We've been friends with Dean Bookman for years. If he can't find a way to get Allen out of this, or even to put it off for a few years, then it _absolutely_ doesn't exist. We'll offer as much support as possible too." Tiedoll tried to sound reassuring.

"I'm sorry, brother. I really am. If I could change things I would."

"Did you know too, Dean Tiedoll? Was I the only one who didn't?"

"No. Froi and I found out just now, the same as you did. We wondered why Neah had been acting so odd recently." Alice answered.

"It hurts that Bookman knew when we didn't, but I understand why. You wanted to minimize the chances the kids would find out. The fewer who knew about it, the less likely that they would somehow learn what was going on. Lavi, Lena, and Kanda all grew up with you as a part of our eccentric 'family.' They'd be upset to know you're ill, and they'd tell Allen the truth. I'm sure of it." Tiedoll felt slighted because his friend had not confided in them, but he tried to reassure himself that it was nothing personal.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Tiedoll. And you as well, Alice. It's as you've said. I wanted to keep the truth a secret from the kids so they wouldn't worry. I'm sorry for not telling you either, Cross. I wanted to wait until I could tell you in person. My doctor told me traveling would put extra strain on me but I did it anyway. I wanted to see both you and Allen one last time."

"You idiot! You could've invited us over to your place for a change."

"And you would've known the instant I invited you that something was going on. Besides, Allen had a performance, and I'm glad I was able to hear him one last time. He really loves it so. I'm also glad to see he's found someone. I didn't even know he was gay, but I'm happy to see him with Kanda. I know the boy and I'm sure he'll care for Allen and be good to him."

"He'd bloody well better be or he'll have to answer to me." Cross sneered, but quickly amended his statement after receiving an uncharacteristically harsh glare from Tiedoll. "I mean, Allen deserves someone who will treat him well, and as his uncle and guardian, l need to make sure of that. No offense to your son, but I can't trust him immediately. It's not like I know him, and Allen's had a hard life."

"Don't worry, brother. Kanda has had his share of difficulties and he's an _excellent_ match for Allen."

"I hate to ask this but I feel like it must be addressed. Do you think Allen will come under attack for his orientation?" Alice voiced her concerns.

"Well, the media hasn't really given him any grief for it yet. He came out publicly earlier this year when he was seen on a date with another male." Cross answered.

"But as the head of a wealthy and influential family and organization, will it be different? His young age is sure to be an issue that will come up, but I'm not sure what they'll say about his 'lifestyle.' I hope my fears prove to be wrong though." Alice prayed that her stepson's new boyfriend would not be judged for dating a male.

"I'm not able to guarantee something won't happen, but I promise if Allen, Kanda, or the both of them are persecuted by anyone, the perpetrator will be dealt with _swiftly_." Tyki smirked as if he looked forward to it.

"Hmm, so there's a dark side to The Arc?" Cross asked.

"There's a dark side to everything." Neah replied.

* * *

AN: I'm not 100% sure on the accuracy of my description of malaria. I needed Neah to have something non-hereditary so it wouldn't be an issue for Cross or Allen. I googled fatal diseases and it was one of the results. I do know that a person can relapse, that they can have a medicine-resistant strain, and have seizures and breathing difficulties. The part I don't know about is how rapidly they die once all medicines fail to work or about problems that travel would cause. If it's super-wrong, please chalk it up to a plot device and consider it a story version of malaria.

And, as always, Thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 16 Poker

AN: It took me far too long to realize that I've been misspelling Neah and Tiedoll. I went through past chapters and corrected it. The net is down at my house right now, so I'm typing on my phone. Woohoo!

Okay, so now it's time for Moyashi and BaKanda to play some poker. Oh, and there will be yaoi.

**Chapter 16 ~ Poker**

Allen led the others into a room they had not seen yet. A table covered in well-worn green felt and surrounded by nicely cushioned chairs took up most of the floor space. Unopened packs of playing cards and trays filled with poker chips sat in the middle of the table.

"Wow! This is awesome, but where's the painting of dogs playing poker?"

"Baka! Why would they have that?"

"Actually, we used to have one of those bloody things, but I hid it from Cross and sold it online. It's amazing what people will pay for 'An Authentic Walker Family Heirloom.'" Allen laughed.

"_Seriously_, Moyashi?"

"Sprout's honour. The suckers got into a bidding war. I made a killing on it. Spent the lot on cakes and ice creams. Lucy and I stayed awake for, oh, it must've been a couple of days before we went through all of it. Best part is Cross never found out. I convinced him he lost it in a bet while playing. I said he was too smashed to remember it, and it's a common enough occurrence that he believed me without question."

"You sold it out from under Cross?" Kanda asked with a smirk on his face.

Allen grinned wickedly.

"You keep getting more and more attractive, Moyashi."

Allen blushed a bright red and looked down at the table. He was not used to being called "attractive" and Kanda's statement overwhelmed him.

Kanda walked over to Allen and lifted the youth's face up to meet his own. He looked straight into the boy's eyes before leaning down and kissing him gently.

"Don't get embarrassed so easily. It's too cute."

"BaKanda..." Allen blushed an even deeper red.

"Che. Let's play."

"Oh, I got an idea! How about strip poker?"

"Really, Lavi? Why would you want to play strip poker with two gay guys who you know are both better players than you?"

"Good point, Allen! So Lavi, is there something you need to tell me?" Lena teased.

"Um, well, I might've not thought that one through before suggesting it."

"Aww, Baka Usagi, you mean you don't wanna show us your _Batman_ boxers?"

"How'd you know I was wearing - Oi! Not cool, Yuu-chan!"

"I didn't, but now we all do."

"Lena, he's _evil_."

Lena just patted Lavi on the arm and grinned, fighting hard not to laugh.

"So, about this game - we gonna play or shall we keep discussing our underwear? My boxers are black silk, fairly similar to BaKanda's shirt actually."

"How the fuck do you get embarrassed if I call you 'cute' or 'attractive' but then turn around and say something like that?!"

"It's simple to say such things myself. It's only hearing anything said about me that's difficult."

"You are a strange fellow, Allen Walker."

"Thank you, _Batman_."

Lavi pouted but Lena and Kanda laughed.

"So are we all gonna play, or should it just be the two of you, Allen and Kanda?" Lena asked.

"I'm fine with sitting out. I've suffered enough defeat already and we haven't even started the game yet."

"Poor Usagi. He loves embarrassing others but he's such a pussy about it when we tease him."

"Watch it, _Yuu-Yuu_. I remember some really embarrassing stories about you from our childhood." Lavi threatened.

"An excellent suggestion, Lavi!" Allen seemed awfully excited about something.

"Um, Moyashi, what the hell are you talking about?"

"If I win, Lavi gets to tell me a 'Yuu-Yuu' story."

"And if I win?"

"Cross would tell you an embarrassing story about me. He'll love this bet. Speaking of which, I thought he and Tyki were coming with us?"

"I heard Neah say he wanted to talk to everybody. Well, everybody except us." Lena commented. "It's probably some boring business talk."

"I hope so. Cross hates it when he gets forced into doing any real work." Allen grinned.

"You two really enjoy tormenting each other, don't you?" asked Lavi.

"Yup. We've always been this way. Ever since I was little, we'd get into it. Of course, the subject matter has changed quite a bit over the years."

"I should hope so. If he talked to you like he does now back when you were little I'd have to go kick his ass."

"Aww, BaKanda, my hero. You must be my knight in shining armour."

"I prefer samurai."

"Works for me."

"You guys are so sweet it's gonna make me sick." Lavi grumbled.

"I think it's nice." Lena smiled. "After all, we haven't heard Kanda say anything like this since he was with - " She quickly covered her mouth with her hands.

Kanda sent her an icy glare. He hardly ever gave Lena that look, but she just got dangerously close to sharing too much information.

"So I'll just pretend I heard nothing, shall I?"

Lena mouthed "Thank you" to Allen and he nodded in acknowledgement.

"Yeah, so Lena can be dealer 'cause I can't shuffle cards to save my life. I'll keep score." Lavi spoke just to change the subject.

"Che, the poker chips will keep score for us well enough, you Baka!"

"Be nice or I'll ask Tiedoll to show Allen your school pictures that he keeps in his wallet."

Kanda froze, his mouth partly open as he was about to insult Lavi again.

"Lena, would you let him do that to me?"

"Depends on how mean you get. Don't worry right now though. You haven't been anywhere near _that_ mean yet."

"Lena baby, whose side are you on?"

"Hmm, my own side."

Lena sat down, grabbed a pack of the cards, and opened it. The three males took their seats while she shuffled.

Lavi very carefully stacked poker chips up in front of Allen and then created an equal stack in front of Kanda.

"See, Yuu? I am helpful."

"Che."

"What does that even mean? You keep doing that but I don't understand." Allen had to ask. The curiosity simply grew to be too much to resist.

"Oh, that's just a Yuu-noise. Sort of an all-purpose comment for when he can't be bothered to come up with a real response."

"If I hit him for that, would it be too mean?"

"Nah, go ahead."

"Thanks." Kanda smacked Lavi in the face with a cushion.

"But it's the truth!"

"Che, Baka."

"Okay, boys. I'm ready when you are."

The trio grew silent instantly and Lena dealt cards to Allen and Kanda.

Kanda won the first hand, then the second and third ones.

Allen finally won on the fourth hand, but he lost again on the next one then won on the sixth. Kanda kept winning more often than Allen, and the younger teen's pile of poker chips diminished rapidly.

Kanda grew increasingly confident as the game progressed, and he eventually decided to up the stakes.

"Say, Moyashi? Looks like you're having a hard time keeping up with me. I thought you 'never lost a tournament.' Not so confident now, huh?"

"It's not over yet, Ba - Kan - Da."

"Well then, I guess you wouldn't mind if I raised the bet?"

"How could you do that? Make it two stories they'd get to tell?"

"Not a bad idea, but I was thinking about seeing old pictures of a certain Moyashi."

"No!" He answered very quickly. "I mean, there aren't really many and Cross would have to hunt for them and he'd never put forth that much effort."

"Don't want me to see embarrassing pics of you, eh? I can't really blame you. If I were in your place, I wouldn't want Tiedoll showing you my old pictures. Fine then, make it three stories and no pictures and we have a deal."

"Agreed."

Allen won every hand after that.

"What the flying fuck, Moyashi? How? That kind of comeback should've been impossible!"

"What kind of poker champion would I be if I revealed my secrets, BaKanda?" Allen grinned.

"Che. Come on. I've never lost before so I need to know how it happened. I _promise_ I won't tell anyone."

"Didn't you find it odd that an alleged champion kept losing so many hands? Didn't you think we should have been more evenly matched? We've all heard of people bluffing in poker. It's extremely commonplace. But who would ever lose on purpose?"

"You mean you threw away _good_ hands until I gained a false sense of security?"

Allen's grin grew dark and sinister, and he laughed. Seeing such an expression on his usually angelic face shocked Lena and scared Lavi. Kanda, however, was turned on. 'Mmm, he's got a wicked streak. I like it.' Kanda smirked as he wondered how naughty he could convince his Moyashi to be.

"Oi, Yuu-chan! Ready to be humiliated?"

"Just get it over with, Baka Usagi."

Allen stood up and walked over to Kanda. He shoved at his chair a little.

"Move your chair back a bit, BaKanda. I want my comfy seat for 'Yuu-Yuu' story time."

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

"_Che_." Allen said and giggled as he sat on Kanda's lap.

Kanda scowled but wrapped his arms around Allen.

"'Kay, so first up is actually a secondhand from Lena-lady, so is it cool if she tells it?"

"From when she first met me?" Kanda asked.

Lavi nodded.

"I'll allow it if Moyashi will."

"Is it funny?" Allen asked as he started trying to snake his arm around Kanda to reach his hair tie.

"Yup, you'll definitely laugh." Lena answered.

"Okay." Allen pulled Kanda's hair tie out, freeing Kanda's silky, blue-black locks. "Success!"

"Gimme that, Moyashi!"

"Nope! I wanna see you wear your hair down."

"Okay, it's down. You've seen it."

"Leave it down and let me play with it and I'll let you get away with just two stories."

"One." Kanda countered.

"Tempting, definitely quite tempting..."

"But Al, I wanna embarrass him three times!"

"Sorry, Lavi, but the hair wins. One story it is."

"Have a thing about my hair, Moyashi?"

"It's beautiful and it feels really good, so soft and silky. It should be a _sin_ to have such _tempting_ hair on an already _irresistible_ body." Allen massaged Kanda's scalp and slowly ran his fingers through his hair.

Kanda tried not to moan. Allen's fingers in his hair felt amazing. He never knew having his hair played with could feel so good.

Kanda and Allen's eyes met and they immediately started kissing. Allen kept his fingers in Kanda's hair as he moved around to straddle the older teen. Kanda nipped at Allen's bottom lip and the boy eagerly opened his mouth. Kanda slipped his tongue between parted lips and ravaged his Moyashi's mouth. He broke for air and then coaxed Allen's tongue into his mouth, relishing in the feel of the small pink organ's gentle, almost hesitant explorations. His little sprout was such an amazing blend of boldness and timidity.

* * *

When Allen turned and straddled Kanda, Lavi and Lena knew they might as well leave the room. They walked out and quietly shut the door behind them. They headed towards the kitchen to grab some sodas, but they stopped when they heard Tyki and Cross.

"It's hard to believe he's actually _dying_. How the hell do I keep this from Allen?"

"You'll just have to be strong. You know it'd terrify him if he learned the truth."

"But he has a right to know. I may call him 'brat' and we argue almost constantly, but when it's something this serious, I don't think I can simply let it go."

"Cross, you promised."

"And I break my promises when I need to! If Neah won't tell him, I'll have to do it."

"And what then? Allen will know he's dying but it won't keep it from happening."

"_Allen_ is dying?!" Lena cried out.

"What the bloody hell? Were you two spying on us?" Cross scowled.

"No, sir. We were on our way to get something to drink and we accidentally overheard your conversation." Lavi answered. "So is it true? Is Allen gonna die?"

"Oh, I get it...from what they heard, they think it's Allen who's dying. Right, guys?" Tyki asked.

"So it isn't him? He's really not dying?" Lena sniffled.

"No, Lena. Allen is fine. He isn't dying." Tyki reassured her.

"Then who is? If it's not Al it must be...it's Neah! _Neah_ is dying, right?"

"How do you know it's him?" Cross glared at Lavi.

"Well, you said, 'If Neah won't tell him, I'll have to do it.' From the way you said that, how could it not be Neah?"

"He has a point, Cross."

Cross was about to argue with Tyki but stopped when Lena burst into tears, producing loud cries that he feared others would overhear.

"Get her out of here and calmed down before everybody in the house comes to see what's going on." Cross demanded.

"Fine, but since we know, we're tellin' Kanda. He'll tell Allen or force one of you to."

"Whatever. My nephew's pretty boy doesn't intimidate me."

Lavi led Lena to her room and they sat on the bed. He held her and rubbed her back while she cried. She never noticed the silent tears falling from his eye.

* * *

Allen and Kanda continued kissing. Lips moved against lips and tongues explored, licked, and caressed. Allen found himself grinding against Kanda. He had not realized what he was doing until Kanda's hands strayed from his back down to his hips.

"Moyashi." Kanda's voice sounded deeper than normal, husky and urgent.

"Mmm, BaKanda." Allen replied and kept running his fingers through Kanda's hair.

"I want to taste you." Kanda whispered in his ear.

"Taste me?" Allen asked, his confusion evident in his voice.

"Yes, my pet, _taste_. I wanna use my mouth and my tongue to make you come."

"You want...to use your...mouth and tongue...to make me _come_?" Allen's voice trembled with desire.

"Yes, Moyashi. I bet you're delicious."

Without waiting on a response, Kanda suddenly gripped Allen firmly and stood up. He sat Allen down on the table.

"Scoot back. I'll need room to get between your legs."

Allen nodded, still stunned that this was happening, that Kanda actually wanted him. He slowly moved back until he thought Kanda would have enough room.

Kanda climbed on the table and crawled toward Allen. He kissed him again, a rough, needy kiss that ended quickly. He moved back a little and settled between Allen's legs. He gazed up at Allen, wanting to make sure it was okay to continue. Allen nodded, and Kanda slowly unbuckled his belt. He unbuttoned his pants and very slowly unzipped them.

"Why are you being so _slow_ about it?" Kanda's pace taunted him.

"Enjoying the moment. I _promise_ it's worth the wait."

When Kanda finished with Allen's pants he moved Allen's legs and pulled the cloth completely off of him. He looked at Allen's boxers, which were, in fact, black silk, and saw the dampness where the teen's erection pressed against the fabric.

He slid his hands over the silk, carefully touching everywhere except Allen's hardness. When he finally placed his palm over it, Allen moaned.

"Hnn, some little sprout is very, very hard. Do you want me?" Kanda looked up at Allen with eyes gone dark with lust.

"Please." Allen begged.

Kanda placed his mouth on Allen's arousal, the silk a thin barrier between them. He gently sucked on him, earning moans and whimpers.

"Kanda, please!"

"Please, what?"

"_Please_!"

"Tell me what you want me to do, my Moyashi. I _need_ to hear you say it."

Allen shivered at Kanda's seductive tone.

"Kanda, please, enough teasing. I want you to take my boxers off and take me into your mouth. Lick me, suck me, make me _yours_."

"That's my good little Moyashi."

Kanda slid Allen's boxers off in one quick, fluid motion. He knelt between his beansprout's legs and took in the beautiful sight. Allen's erection stood firm and hard. His length and thickness were more than Kanda expected, though not as large as his own. He slowly lifted his gaze to meet Allen's. Allen blushed and looked away.

"Is...is it, um...okay? The...size, I mean. I've never done anything like this...never done anything before really."

"Beautiful. You're _beautiful_, my Moyashi, and your size is just right."

Kanda lowered himself to Allen's member. He placed a gentle kiss on the tip, and Allen shivered. Kanda slowly kissed his way down to the base, then he licked his way back up. He ran his tongue across the head, lapping up the beads of precum that gathered at the slit.

"Oh fuck!" Allen cursed as Kanda licked along the slit over and over again.

"Shit!" he exclaimed when Kanda sucked at the thick vein running up the underside of his length.

"Someone cusses when he gets excited." Kanda smirked and then swiftly took Allen into his mouth. He relaxed his throat and went down almost to the base.

"Damn! Hell! Fuck, fuck, FUCK!"

Kanda decided that he was not doing his job thoroughly enough because his Moyashi was still capable of cursing. He hollowed his cheeks, sucking harder, and ran his tongue along the vein. He pulled back to focus on the head once more. Sucking gently now, he dipped his tongue into the slit repeatedly. He suddenly went back down, taking Allen's length in, sucking and swallowing.

"Uh...ha...mmm...oh...um..."

That was more like it. Kanda continued to alternate between teasing the slit and deep throating.

Allen writhed and moaned. He tried to buck up into Kanda's mouth but was stopped by firm hands on his hips. He grew harder and harder, more so than he had ever been in his life. He suddenly felt the familiar tightening and knew his release was imminent.

Kanda had successfully made it all the way down to the base of Allen's shaft and was swallowing rhythmically when it happened; he noticed the grip in his hair tighten and felt the hot, trembling body beneath him tense up. He knew his lover was almost there. He pulled back, sucking as he moved and was about midway up when Allen came.

Allen's orgasm hit him incredibly hard. Spots danced across his vision and he felt like he was floating. He panted harshly and slowly relaxed into a warm, fuzzy state of mind.

Allen suddenly remembered that something had been bothering him before he came. He tried to concentrate and then he realized what it was. He wanted to warn Kanda before coming so that his lover did not have him in his mouth when he released. He got so wrapped up in the pleasure that he neglected to do it.

"I'm so very sorry, Kanda. I didn't warn you and I came in your mouth. I hope you're not too angry with me."

"Angry? Why would that make me - oh, Moyashi, you thought I _didn't_ know you were coming?"

"You knew? But then why didn't you take me out of your mouth?"

"Che, I said I wanted to _taste_ you, didn't I?"

"Did you, umm, swallow it?"

"Every drop, and you're even more _delicious_ than I expected."

"Delicious?"

"Very. I think I'm gonna need a taste of you on a regular basis."

"So you like doing that?"

"Hnn?"

"I mean is it fun to be the one, uh...'tasting' the other?" Allen blushed a flaming red.

"I liked it, yeah. Reducing you to curses, then down to incoherent noises. Watching you writhe around and having to hold your hips down. Knowing that _I_ made you do that. _I'm_ the one who brought you to orgasm."

"So it made you happy to make me come?"

"Yeah, that's one thing I liked. I also meant it when I said you're delicious, and I liked the feel of you in my mouth. The heat, the hardness, it just...well, I just enjoyed it."

"Hmm, so is it hard to do? From how it felt on the receiving end, it seems like a lot of work is involved."

"Wanting to try it?"

"Well, I'm not sure how good I'll be, but I do want to try."

Kanda found Allen's pants and handed them to him. The boy dressed and slid off the table. Kanda picked him up bridal style and proceeded to carry him out of the room.

"What are you doing? Put me down!"

"Well, obviously I'm carrying you and no."

"No?"

"Not putting you down."

"Why the hell not?"

"Don't want to."

"Where are we going?"

"My room."

"Why?"

"Didn't think you'd want to be seen blowing me in the poker room."

"Then why didn't we go there to begin with, you know, when you did it to me?"

"Didn't think about it at the time. Did you?"

"Honestly, no. Guess we're lucky we weren't caught. Lavi and Lena left before we got too into things, right?"

"You'd barely even straddled me when they ran."

"Good. I forgot all about them once we kissed."

"Che. Baka."

Kanda carried Allen into his room and sat him down on his bed. He closed and locked the door, and then joined his Moyashi. He bit down on the younger male's pale neck, sucking on it until he knew it would leave a mark. Allen moaned but managed to push Kanda slightly away.

"I thought I was supposed to pleasure _you_, not the other way 'round."

Kanda smirked and moved so that his back rested against the headboard. He stretched his legs out, making sure there was enough room for Allen to fit between them.

Allen wanted to crawl towards Kanda and knew that he needed to do so if he planned on continuing, but he worried about doing a poor job.

"Come on, Moyashi. I've been hard since _before_ sucking you off."

That got Allen to move. He still felt nervous but he decided he would do his best and try to enjoy himself. Kanda said he liked doing it, so Allen thought it must be fun.

When he reached Kanda, Allen immediately undid the older teen's belt. He unbuttoned and unzipped the pants quickly and pulled them off his lover. Kanda's boxers followed quickly.

"Not one for slowly teasing me?"

Allen was too preoccupied to answer him. He stared at Kanda's long, thick shaft, and he hoped he would be able to satisfy the man.

"You're _big_."

"Thanks."

"What do you want me to start out with?"

"Just do what feels right. If I don't like something, I'll let you know."

Allen nodded but still feared that he would not be any good. He settled himself down between Kanda's legs and hesitantly brought his mouth to the throbbing erection in front of him. He placed a light kiss on the tip and then kissed all along the length of the shaft. He licked from base to tip, like Kanda did to him, and earned a moan from his lover. Encouraged, Allen delved his tongue into the slit and lapped up the precum gathered there.

Allen realized he had an advantage for part of what he was doing: he had no gag reflex. He slowly took more of Kanda into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around as he went. He relaxed his throat and felt the hot, hard flesh slide deeper. He sucked and swallowed and licked until he wanted to move back up to taste more precum.

Kanda thought Allen was amazing; the boy took him in right down to the base of his cock. He did indescribably wonderful things with his tongue, especially while focusing at the slit. Kanda tried to form words but gave up in favor of moaning. It was much easier, and easier was a good thing right now because his brain refused to function. He felt and that was all: Allen's tongue working its magic, Allen's throat swallowing around him, Allen's mouth working its way up and down his shaft, the small pleased sounds Allen made that created a nice vibration.

Allen got really into pleasuring Kanda. He heard the moans and felt proud of himself for causing them. He loved the taste of Kanda and the feel of all that warm, hard flesh in his mouth. Over time, he noticed Kanda growing even harder and felt the thighs beside his head begin to tremble.

Kanda knew he was going to come very soon and very hard. He bucked up once into the delightful, wet heat of Allen's mouth and came with a shout.

"Aren!"

The bucking of his lover's hips did not surprise Allen. He already knew Kanda was close so he expected the motion. He bobbed his head along with the thrust and continued sucking his way towards the tip. He heard Kanda call him by name and he felt like he came himself at the sound. Kanda's seed flowed into his mouth and Allen swallowed all of it. He kept sucking at the tip and lapping at the slit until there was nothing left.

He sat up slowly and smiled at Kanda. The older teen reached for Allen and pulled him to his mouth for a deep kiss.

"Mmm, we taste good _together_, don't we, Moyashi?"

"_Delicious_, just like you said." Allen yawned. "Pardon, love."

"Tired?"

"Yeah, it's wicked fun but it's exhausting."

"Go to sleep."

"I can't. I need clean clothes. I kinda sorta came again when you called out my name in that sexy accent and came in my mouth."

"Touched yourself, huh? _Naughty_ Moyashi, doing that without letting me watch you."

"But I didn't touch myself. I came without it."

"You got off from getting me off?"

"That and hearing you scream my real name. Maybe it was the accent that did it. Most likely it was the combination of everything: your taste, how it felt to have you in my mouth, the sounds you made. Anyway, a quick shower and fresh clothes would be lovely."

"So go do that and I'll do the same. Come back here when you're done."

"Why?"

"To sleep."

"Why am I sleeping here?"

"You won the poker game but not the movie bet. You're still my pet and I _ordered_ you to eat, drink, and sleep as needed provided I accompany you. I meant it."

"Give me 15 minutes."

"Okay, starting now."

"And Kanda?"

"Hnn?"

"This doesn't get you out of the poker bet. I still want my Yuu-Yuu story."


	18. Chapter 17 You Don't Belong Here

AN: Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter. I'm happy that people liked the Kanda x Allen scene.

Just to warn you: this chapter goes to a **very** dark place. Remember Chapter 9 ~ Hurt ? This shows more of what's going on with the guy.

**Chapter 17 ~ You Don't Belong Here**

He found himself in an all-too-familiar white room, his own personal Hell. He felt the restraints holding him down again, just like they had done six months ago. He knew what was to come next, but something was different this time, out-of-place.

"Good morning, baby. About time you woke up."

And there sat the difference, in all his irritatingly perky-sounding glory.

"The fuck are you doing here? You've never been here before."

"Well of course not, baby. I'm dead, you know, so I don't get out much these days. So, I see you're still stuck with your night terrors then? Hmm, don't tell me...I got it:

"_That's my baby. Shoot up and we'll have some fun."_

_A needle pierces the flesh of his arm._

_The familiar euphoric rush sets in._

_Pleasure._

_The craving for more and more._

_Pain._

_The never-ending cycle of drugs and rough sex._

_The pleasure grows less, the pain more._

_The most incredible rush he's ever felt._

_The harsh slice of the blade._

_Blood everywhere._

_Fear and panic._

_Darkness._

_White walls._

_Forced rehab._

_The need to escape._

_Hurting himself._

_Restraints._

_Screaming._

_Crying._

_Sickness unlike anything he's ever known._

_The sympathetic looks from friends and family._

_The harsh, judging stares from others._

"So, that about sums up your mental state on an almost nightly basis, yes?"

"You aren't supposed to be here. You don't belong here, not talking to me. You're dead. I watched you die. You aren't in this fucking part of things! Get out! Get the hell away from me. I'm already fucked up enough without you screwing with my flashbacks."

"Oh baby, I forgot how dense you are sometimes. This isn't a flashback. It's a dream, granted it's a shitty setting for one, but it's still a dream."

"So why the fuck are you invading my dreams?"

"Well, baby, it's because -"

"And quit fucking calling me that shit! I'm not your baby!"

"You used to be. You never bitched about it when we were together."

"But we aren't together. You're dead."

"Yes, I am so just humor me, 'kay? Let me call you baby just for now. You won't be hearing from me again."

"Hnn, go on. You have my attention."

"You have a problem."

"No shit! I'm a train wreck and I'm already aware of that so goodbye."

"Wait, baby. That's not all I had to say. Let me finish, damnit!"

"Whatever."

"Right...so anyways, you're stuck in your past, which is partially my past as well. That's where I come in; I'm supposed to help you."

"How exactly can you help? The past is over. We can't change things. We can't correct mistakes. You'll still be dead and I'm still bat-shit insane."

"And what of your snowy-haired beauty? What if I can help you now, and it'll help your future with him?"

"How do you know about him?"

"I'm dead. I get to know things without explanation. Just shut up and listen."

He nodded. It was really all he could do in his current situation. Being strapped to a hospital bed led to problems like this.

"You need to go through what happened to us with me here with you, baby. If you talk your feelings out, you stand a chance to move on. You don't belong here. You've trapped yourself and you aren't really living anymore. Trust me, I know all about not living. This Allen guy, he's your chance, your ticket outta your past."

"So what am I supposed to say?"

"Whatever needs to be said. This is for you, baby. I'm just here for you. I can bring up one thing at a time and let you comment if that'll help ya."

"Okay."

"_That's my baby. Shoot up and we'll have some fun."_

"It's your fault, you know? I never thought about doing drugs of any kind, not until you gave me that first hit. You got me hooked and then I had to have it."

_A needle pierces the flesh of his arm._

"That was always hard for me . Of all the drugs you could've picked, it had to be something you inject. I fucking hate needles. They remind me of being in the hospital as a child: the pain, the loneliness, the guilt, the fear. Why that drug?"

_The familiar euphoric rush sets in._

"And the thing that was our downfall. The feeling it gives when it hits your system. Damn, but there's nothing else like it! I'll always remember it, and then I have to remind myself that every other thing about it is horrible. That rush, it's just not worth losing everything else."

_Pleasure._

"Che. Is this really a necessary part or just thrown in for you?"

"Just talk about it. Whatever comes to mind is what needs to be said."

"Fine, you asshole. So, as far as pleasure goes, when you cared about my pleasure it was great, but you cared less and less about that over time. It got to the point where you didn't care if I even came. As long as you did, you didn't worry about anything. And the worst part was that I didn't usually like being a bottom. I mean it was okay occasionally, like for variety's sake or if I just felt the urge, but not all the time! When we first dated, you weren't like that. You cared for me like the 'man' in our relationship but still let me top you in bed. I thought we were both happy until I caught you fucking that girl. Cheating on me with a girl, for fuck's sake! When you begged me to come back until I finally caved, you got me fucked up for the first time. When I wanted to take turns topping in bed you wouldn't and I didn't care enough to really argue about it. I just let you fuck me."

_The craving for more and more._

"That whole building up a tolerance bullshit. Because heroin wasn't bad enough, we got the bonus of needing more and more of it. That damned tolerance is what let me survive. He gave you enough of an overdose to kill you, but he underestimated me. I always built up tolerance quicker than you did."

_Pain._

"Shit, where do I even begin with this one? It hurt that you started me on this path. It hurt to actually stick a needle in myself. It hurt when the rush left and the need for more took control. It hurt when you'd fuck me without doing anything else first. And then there was that night that everything came crashing down. It hurt to watch you die. It hurt when that bastard who dosed us carved my arm open. It hurt to listen to the hatred in his voice when he screamed at me. It hurt to wake up knowing you were dead and I should've died too but survived. It hurt like absolute hell to go through rehab. It hurt to watch people's reactions to me after that. It hurts now when I dream, or have flashbacks, or even just remember something. It hurts when I injure my arm, and I never even realize I'm doing it until after I'm done. It hurts to think I'm not good enough for anyone, that I don't deserve to be loved."

_The never-ending cycle of drugs and rough sex._

"Kinda redundant here, but whatever. We had to keep shooting up or we'd go into withdrawals. We didn't want that because of the horror stories we'd heard. As for the rough sex, as I've already mentioned: no prep hurt like a sonovabitch! Damnit all, I should've argued about that one instead of just accepting it so I would get my fix and wouldn't be lonely. There, I fucking admit it! I took you back 'cause I didn't wanna be alone and I stuck with you without argument so I could keep a reliable supply."

_The pleasure grows less, the pain more._

"This is a very true statement, both drug-wise and sex-wise. The rush just didn't do as much for me, even when upping how much I took. I already pointed out the issues with sex. I firmly believe all parties involved in any sexual activity should come at least once, preferably more than that."

_The most incredible rush he's ever felt._

"Fuck, yes, it was, especially since the highs were shit there for a while. Pity it was enough that it almost killed my dumb ass. I had to watch while you died, fucking overdosing to death while I'm freaking fucked up as hell. Then I get all carved up by that psychotic drug dealer that hated 'faggots' while I'm still not down off the rush."

_The harsh slice of the blade._

"Alma, please not this part..."

"You need to go through everything, baby."

"It hurt so much. I was fucked up and you died right in front of me and he just walks in like he owns the place. Calmly walks over to me and starts screaming shit about 'faggots, ass-fuckers, sinners who are all going to Hell and that's where they belong.' Said since he didn't do the job right the first time by not giving me a big enough dose that he'd send me to Hell with a message. Then he slices into my left arm and carves a cross. I can't even remember how much work it took for them to get it closed up properly. I do remember it kept reopening and they'd have to repair it. I lost so much blood that I needed a ton of transfusions. They said the carving actually damaged me worse than the overdose."

_Blood everywhere._

"Yep, that is something I'll never forget. All I could see was blood and I knew it was all my blood. I wasn't able to do anything about it and that just made it worse. It scared me, and I know now that with my heart rate up that I just bled faster."

_Fear and panic._

"Naturally. I mean, here I am, bleeding to death from a cross some lunatic homophobe carved into my arm. I'm dying. You're already dead. He's fucking vanished so I'm wondering if he's gonna come back to finish me or just let me bleed out. I'm more terrified than I've ever been, and that just helps kill me faster."

_Darkness._

"This part was the easiest really. It was so peaceful. I remember thinking 'This is it.' and being okay with that. I didn't care that I'd be dead. I wanted it to end. All of it: the drugs, the sex, the pain, the loneliness, the fear, just everything. I felt free."

_White walls._

"My first thought when I woke up to those damnable walls was 'I'm so fucking screwed.' And I was right. It was the start of an ordeal I wouldn't wish on anyone. They'd patch me up physically and clean me out. They'd help my fucked up mind. So now these white walls, they remind of what I had to go through to crawl out of the shit my life had turned into."

_Forced rehab._

"Yeah, I'd talked about us quitting in the past, but we both knew we weren't gonna do it. That shit was too hard to go through. You agreed with me. We were too afraid to clean up. I only did it when I was trapped in the hospital."

_The need to escape._

"Heh, that was kinda fun sometimes. Of course I fucking needed to escape. They wouldn't let me shoot up and I just knew I had to have it. I'd try to run every chance I got. I'd attack people if I had to. I ended up designated a 'flight risk' and always had someone there with me. It just made me more anxious, having somebody constantly watching my every move."

_Hurting himself._

"That originally started when the withdrawals really kicked my ass. I thought maybe if I'd hurt myself that they'd give me some just to make me stop. It didn't work, but then I decided I wanted to hurt myself because I deserved it. I had survived and I felt guilty. I wanted punishment. Over time, I got past that, at least in my conscious thoughts. I still hurt myself in my sleep pretty often. It's always my left arm, like I'm trying to claw the scars off myself."

_Restraints._

"A brilliant idea for the hospital, but torture for me. They certainly figured me out quickly. I couldn't run or self-injure once they did that shit. They even kept someone with me anyway, like they worried I was Houdini or something. It was terrible being trapped like that, unable to get away at all. I hurt and itched and needed to get away but I couldn't."

_Screaming._

"Since I couldn't escape, couldn't hurt myself, couldn't do anything really; I screamed. I screamed at the staff, at visitors, at myself. Sometimes I screamed in English and sometimes it was Japanese. Sometimes it wasn't even words, just noise. I just had to release my frustration, my pain, my rage."

_Crying._

"I was depressed. Who wouldn't be? I watched you die. I got attacked and almost died. I got trapped in the hospital and they forced me to go off heroin. Everything hurt all the time and I had fucked up my life so much. I had nowhere to go, nobody who really understood my feelings. I was, like I often am, alone. So I cried. It's okay for a guy to cry when shit's bad enough."

_Sickness unlike anything he's ever known._

"Okay, so this is the one part where I can honestly say I envy you."

"Trust me, death from overdosing is nothing to envy, baby. Plus, it's permanent."

"But at least it ended quickly for you. I had never been so sick in my entire life. I can't even describe it without throwing up. It brought on lots of the self harm, escape attempts, screaming, and crying. It hurt and I just knew I had lost my fucking mind. It taught me something though: I'm not really tempted to use again. If I remember the rush all I really have to do is think of rehab and how sick I got."

_The sympathetic looks from friends and family._

"I love them. I really do, though I'm not one to admit it often. But I hated the way they acted around me. They were always being so careful, like I was fragile and about to break. They didn't realize I was already broken. I wanted them to act normal because that's what they wanted from me. How could I act like I used to when they're not? Even now, they treat me differently, like they've got to be careful not to upset me. And they don't trust me anymore. I think that's what hurts the most about them."

_The harsh, judging stares from others._

"Che. What's worse than being an ex-junkie? Being a gay ex-junkie whose magnificently horrible story wound up going public. There were a bunch of people who thought I got you addicted, not the other way around. There's also plenty of people who think anyone dumb enough to use deserves to have bad things happen to them. I was an example of why drugs are bad. My life became a cautionary tale."

"So that was the last one. Did that help? You feel any relief?"

"Well, it still can't change what happened, but at least now you know how I feel."

"So are you ready?"

"Ready for what? I don't get it."

"Baby, I fucked up so bad and you've had to pay for it. You're still paying for it, but you shouldn't be, and I'm so very sorry. This is all I can do to try and make up for it. The rest is up to you."

"What?"

"Your guilt. Your belief that you don't deserve happiness and love. You're stuck here, in the past. You don't belong here. You have to let me go and forgive yourself. You didn't kill me. I died but you're alive. Start living again. Take care of that angel you're with. He'll heal your heart if you let him. Goodbye, baby."

"Alma, wait! I'm afraid I'll fuck up. How do I avoid it?"

"Life's always got mistakes in it. Now wake up!"

* * *

Kanda woke up remembering everything from his dream. He did not know if Alma was really there or if he just dreamt that he was. He supposed it did not matter which was true because he learned what he needed to either way. He allowed himself to admit all of his feelings and it helped him. He had to try and live, had to let go of the past that nothing could change.

* * *

Allen slept curled atop Kanda. His head rested on Kanda's chest and he held tightly to Kanda's shirt. He woke up while Kanda was dreaming. He overheard a few things that Kanda unknowingly said aloud. There was some guy named Alma who got him on drugs and some crazy guy that killed Alma and cut Kanda up badly. He also mentioned needing to move on and not wanting to fuck up.

Allen knew when Kanda woke up because he felt him move and noticed the change in his breathing. He wanted to ask about Kanda's dream, but he was afraid it would upset him. He considered feigning sleep, but he doubted that would work.

"Oi Moyashi, I know you're awake. Did I talk in my sleep?"

'Oh shite! What is he, a bloody psychic or something?'

"Umm, well, a tiny bit."

"Damnit! I was afraid of that. So what'd you hear?"

"Some guy named Alma, I guess he was your boyfriend?"

Kanda nodded.

"He got you into taking some kind of street drug, but I didn't hear what it was. Then there was some crazy man who killed Alma and tried to kill you because he hated gays. He cut you up and it was bad, and scary, and nearly killed you. You didn't say anything else out loud until right before you woke up. Then you said you needed to move on but worried about fucking things up."

"I'm really sorry, Moyashi. If you hate me for it, I'd understand. My past is a disaster and that's why I acted so weird at first. I'm afraid I'll fuck up and ruin things."

"And I'm sorry you think I'd hate you for having a horrid time in the past."

"You don't?"

"No. Everybody has a past. You have to keep walking though, keep moving forward. The past won't change no matter how badly you wish for it."

"He called you an angel, said you'd heal my heart if I let you. Maybe you are."

"I'm no angel. I've just survived some weird shite myself. I'm not going to point fingers, call you out for making mistakes. That's a part of life. Yours went worse than typical but that doesn't mean you're a worse person."

"You're too sweet to be real. I guess I'm still asleep. Oof! What the fuck?"

"I elbowed your stomach as proof you're awake, and also that I'm not all that sweet."

"Che, Baka Moyashi."

"Che, BaKanda."

"So you're really okay with this? You accept me even knowing what you do now?"

"Love, I knew you had something troubling you before I even spoke to you for the first time. I could sense it. I don't know how, but I swear I could. I still went after you, didn't I? Why would discovering what hurt you make me give up on you?"

Kanda reached out to Allen and the younger teen understood the gesture. He moved up until they were face-to-face. They kissed, and it was gentle and tender. It held unspoken promises of acceptance, love, and support. Allen's reaction to Kanda's revealing dream cemented their relationship in a way that few, if any, would understand. The two teenagers did not meet until recently, but their hearts sought out and found each other.

They cuddled in silence and soon both went back to sleep. Kanda slept peacefully for the first time in six months.


	19. Chapter 18 The Truth

AN: Sorry for the craziness of the last chapter. On the plus side, Allen accepted Kanda and doesn't hold his past against him.

Now Lavi has to tell Kanda about Neah.

**Chapter 18 ~ The Truth**

"Hey, Kanda! How come you aren't up yet? And you are...not alone. Oops! Hiya, Al!"

"Morning, Lavi."

"Baka Usagi, you ever heard of knocking?"

"Um, so I'm gonna just go wait outside. I need to talk with you, Kanda. It's important."

Lavi walked out of the room. Kanda tried to move Allen off of him so he could follow Lavi.

"But BaKanda, can't he just wait till we're up? I'm comfy and don't want to move yet."

"Sorry, Moyashi. He never calls me Kanda unless it's something serious. Just stay in bed, and I'll be back soon."

"If you insist, but I'm not moving until you kiss me."

Kanda kissed him gently at first, but it soon turned passionate. He nibbled at Allen's bottom lip and the younger teen eagerly opened his mouth and yielded to him without even battling for dominance. Kanda explored the warm, moist cavern and then tried to coax Allen's tongue to follow his. Instead of entering Kanda's mouth, Allen broke the kiss.

"Sorry, but if we don't stop it, Lavi will end up having to wait for a while."

"Che, and you're the one who wouldn't move without a kiss."

"Hmph." Allen slid off Kanda and pouted at him.

"It'll be okay. I'll listen to whatever the dumbass has gotten himself into this time and then we'll go eat breakfast. Go back to sleep if you want."

"Mmm, food." Allen yawned. "But I think I will sleep more first. I'm not a morning person."

Kanda smiled when he saw Allen had already gone back to sleep. He quietly left the room.

"Okay, Baka. What'd you do now? If you knocked up Lena, Komui is gonna kill you and Reever will let him. I might even help them instead of just watching."

"Nothing like that, I promise. And might I just say I'm surprised to find Allen in your bed. I mean, I know you guys were all over each other last night, but damn. Congrats! You needed something good to happen in your life. Feel better since you got laid?"

"We didn't have sex."

"Uh-huh. And my hair is blue."

"Seriously. We did stuff but didn't go that far. I don't wanna do it yet, and why the fuck am I tellig you this?! What'd you want anyway?"

"Well, last night when we left you guys to enjoy yourselves, we overheard Tyki and Cross talking. We found out what Neah wanted to talk about, and it's bad."

"So what is it?"

"Neah is dying but doesn't want Allen to know about it."

"Really funny, Baka. Now tell me the truth."

"But I am. You can go ask Lena if ya don't believe me. Cross wants to tell Allen because he thinks he should know but Tyki said they'd promised Neah they wouldn't."

"And everybody knew except us and Moyashi? Tiedoll knew and didn't tell me?" Kanda felt his anger building.

"They didn't know until last night. Well, Tyki did but he was sworn to secrecy and he's got that whole lawyer confidentiality thingy going on."

"So you guys heard them and then what?"

"I told Cross I was gonna tell you, and though he didn't actually say so, I think he was relieved. You should decide how Allen finds out, like whether you wanna tell him or have Cross or whoever do it. But you agree he should know, right?"

"Of course, and I already know who's gonna tell him."

Kanda stalked off without another word.

"Hey, wait a sec! Where are you goin', Yuu? You've got that whole 'I'm gonna kill a bitch' vibe going."

"Neah's already upset my Moyashi by ignoring him. Now I find out that he's dying and too chicken shit to tell his only son the truth. Neah really should've told all of us. I could try to overlook that if it was just us, but I can't forgive him for treating Allen like this. He is going to tell Allen the truth or I will personally see that he regrets it."

"I'm thinking you might should go easy on him since he's sick and dying."

"It's up to him. He'll either agree to tell him or I'll say I'm telling Allen myself."

"Okay. Just don't hurt him. You know it'd upset Allen."

Kanda nodded and headed towards Neah's room. He tried the door but found it locked. He sighed and kicked the knob. The door flew open and he strode in.

Neah was in bed, breathing in supplemental oxygen and reading the newspaper. He recently woke up after having another seizure. The sound of the door bursting open startled him. Even more surprising was the sight of an extremely irritated Kanda Yuu.

"You bastard! You've been hiding the truth from us! I was already pissed enough that you keep avoiding Moyashi but now I know you're hiding the truth from him! You have to tell him!"

"Moyashi? Oh, yes, that's your nickname for Allen. So I must admit the truth came out faster than I expected. It was Cross, wasn't it? That man never could keep his mouth shut."

"I'm not saying who told me. You don't deserve to know. Just know this: Allen does not know yet. You have until dinner tonight to tell him or I will. I originally planned to give you until noon but I'm feeling charitable since I don't really want to be the one to tell him."

"Do you know why I didn't want him to know?"

"Che, no but I'm sure it'll be a bullshit excuse."

"I don't want to upset him. He's such a kind-hearted boy."

"And you think ignoring him and then suddenly dropping dead won't upset him? Damn, that's stupid!"

"Did you know that for years Allen wanted nothing to do with me? He blamed me for what happened to him when he was little, but I swear I didn't know. I thought he and his mum were happy! She always said they were. How was I to know -"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kanda interrupted. "What's this about something happening when he was little?!"

"You don't know?"

"I have no idea but since you've let it slip you're screwed now. Tell me."

"I really think that's something Allen needs to tell you when he's ready to."

"And I really think you weren't listening when I said to tell me."

"I won't give details but I will say it's to do with his scars."

"Scars as in more than one scar? All I've seen is the one on his face."

"Oh dear. I keep giving away more than you already know. Yes, he has other scars but I'd rather let him tell you about it. It's far too personal to hear secondhand."

"And you let it happen to him?!"

"As I was trying to say, I couldn't know. His mum left me while pregnant and she married someone else. I kept in touch at first but she always sounded happy and I decided to let them be. I found out much later, far too late in fact, that she hid the truth from me. I've lived with the guilt of not seeing through her lies for years now."

"So if something happened that made you feel so guilty, why don't you spend what time you have left with Allen? I mean, he wants to have you act like a father and even if it'll only be for a little while, you owe it to him."

"And then what happens when I die? Am I supposed to finally grow close to him only to leave him soon after?"

"Yes, you are. Just because you're dying doesn't mean you don't have to fix your mess. What if he won't forgive you for this? Do you really wanna die without spending time with your son? How you can even fucking stand that hurt look he keeps giving you is beyond me. I'd probably do whatever the hell he wanted to avoid causing that expression on his face."

"You really love him already. I'm glad. You needed someone like him, and he needs to be cared for, to know he's accepted and wanted."

"No changing the subject! This is about you fixing your busted-ass relationship with Allen before it's too late. Now tell him the truth and if he still wants to spend time with you after learning you kept something this important from him, you damn well better do it!"

"I will, Kanda. Ask him to come to my room. Tell him I need to talk with him, and please come with him if he wants you to."

"Damned straight you'll tell him."

Kanda left and Neah tried to fight off his tears. He hoped he could make his son feel loved and wanted after so many years. He really did not know how to act around the boy. He knew he could never atone for allowing all the abuse to happen.

* * *

"Moyashi, hey Moyashi. Wake up. Oi, Baka! Up, damnit!"

"Hmm, don't wanna."

Allen grabbed the covers and pulled them over his head.

"There's food involved, and coffee."

"Imma sleep."

"You can play with my hair after you eat."

Allen uncovered his head.

"Really?"

"If you'll just get outta bed, sure."

"Fine. So what's for breakfast anyway? I want pancakes, and bacon, and sausages, and waffles. Oh, and eggs with lots of cheese. You did mention coffee, yes?"

Allen climbed out of bed and stretched.

"Che. You really are a bottomless pit, and yes, there's coffee. Come on, sprout. You gotta eat so you can go meet with Neah. He says he needs to talk to you."

"He does? But why? He nevers needs to talk to me. He acts like it's his goal in life to not talk to me. It's bound to be something horrid like he's dying."

Kanda cringed. He prayed Allen would not notice it, but he did.

"Oh fuck! He is, isn't he? He's actually dying! So why's he bothering to tell me about it? It's not like he's been close to me or anything! That stupid, bloody, idiot sperm donor! Fucking bastard! Never gave a shite what happened to me until his brother Mana rescued me! Then when I finally wanted to try and make peace he had the nerve to keep avoiding me!"

By this point, Allen had started pacing the floor and gesturing wildly with both arms.

"Easy, Moyashi. Calm down. You'll make yourself sick."

"Oh, I'm perfectly bloody calm! I'm just wonderful! Why wouldn't I be? That arse, dying now and probably getting all kinds of sympathy! Where was his sympathy for me? Where was he when I needed him? I'll tell you where! Hiding in America being a damned coward who didn't care enough about his son and the mother of his only child to save them from absolute Hell on Earth!"

"Is this about your scars and Neah feeling guilty for believing you mother about things being fine?"

"He told you?! He has no right to talk about that! He did nothing, nothing at all while mum and I kept getting abused! He should've checked on us anyway, even if she said we were okay. He should've wanted to see me!"

"Abused, Moyashi? By who?"

"But didn't Neah tell you?"

"Just what little I mentioned. He said you should be the one to tell me when you're ready to."

"Shite! Fine, I hate speaking about it but you deserve to know. Don't interrupt me though because if I don't get it all out at once, I won't finish. Okay, here goes: My stepfather abused me and mum. He killed her, in front of me, on my fourth birthday. Of course, I didn't understand murder then, but now I know that's what happened. He shoved her down some stairs and played it off like she fell. Before that, he used to beat her up a lot but wasn't as rough on me. Once she was gone it got much, much worse. Beatings, cutting, burning - something happened daily the best I remember until my sixth birthday, when he gave me the scar on my face and a couple of others. Then he threw me out. Neah's brother Mana found me passed out on the street and saved me. He adopted me and I never knew Neah was my father until Mana's death. Before that, I'd thought my stepfather was my real father. I thought he hated me and punished me for being a bad son. It was actually because he was an alcoholic wanker, but as a small child, that didn't occur to me. You know why he tortured me? Why he called me a worthless, unloveable beast? Because I'm a fucking albino and have a discolored arm! As if I could help that!"

Allen finally burst into tears and collapsed against Kanda's chest.

Kanda expected Allen to exhaust himself and caught him easily. He carried him back to bed and sat down, cradling him in his lap. He rubbed his back and remained silent while Allen sobbed. Kanda wanted to find that evil stepfather and torture him.

Allen grew quiet and sat up. He slipped off Kanda's lap and stood in front of him.

"Say, Kanda, do you want to see it?"

"See what?"

"My arm, the discolored one. You'll see scars on it, and the other's on my torso."

"You don't have to show me if you don't want to. It's okay."

"No, I'll do it. You need to see it to fully understand what I've told you."

"Possibly not the best idea right now. I already wanna find the bastard and torture him."

"Impossible. He's dead, committed suicide while in jail for what he last did to me."

"Che, ruin my fun..."

"You sound kinda like Cross did when he learned about the suicide."

Allen removed the glove from his left hand. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off. He stood before Kanda, shirtless, and let the older teen take in the sight.

Kanda wanted to kill something, to kill it a lot and preferably with a combination of swords, fire, and his bare hands. He knew of the scar on Allen's forehead already, but the long, jagged scar running down his torso horrified him.

"How did you survive that?"

Kanda lightly touched the scar.

"Right place, right time? Mana found me just as I passed out. I was in front of an orphanage that had an excellent clinic. It was The Arc's orphanage, the one I just did the benefit concert for. This cut, the one on my face, and the cross branded on the back of my left hand were all freshly done."

"Cross on your hand? I haven't even looked at your arm yet. The big scar distracted me."

Allen held his hand up to show Kanda the cross brand. He looked away and waited for the older teen to grow disgusted at the sight of his red arm.

Kanda surprised him. Instead of rejecting him, he brought Allen's hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on the cross.

"But Kanda, why aren't you kicking me out of your room and calling me a freak? Why kiss this hideous thing? I don't understand."

"Baka."

Kanda pulled his own shirt off and unbandaged his left arm. He held his arm out for Allen to inspect. Beneath recent scratches, Allen saw a cross-shaped scar.

"I have my own cross, a gift from the crazy homophobe that killed Alma and nearly killed me."

"And those scratches?"

"Happens in my sleep sometimes, during nightmares or flashbacks. I used to hurt myself when awake, but I haven't done that in months."

"And your chest?"

Allen placed his hand in the center of Kanda's burn scar.

"I lost my mother and grandfather in a house fire when I was six. I was the only survivor. I tried to save them but I couldn't."

"You were only a child. You can't blame yourself. Why didn't you mention your father?"

"Never knew him. He split before I was born."

Allen hugged Kanda.

"We make quite the pair, don't we?"

"Che, scarred and crazy."

Allen giggled and kissed Kanda's chest.

The younger teen's stomach growled.

"I'm hungry!"

"Come on, sprout. Let's attempt to fill up that black hole of a stomach so you can go yell at Neah."


End file.
